Post - wedding message ... please help me, what the hell do I say??

[Puzzledandpissedoff]

I recently attended an ex-colleague's wedding where, in response to a request for cash gifts, I sent what I thought was a pretty decent cheque (£100 if it matters, though I can't help feeling it shouldn't)

Last night I received an email which opened with a few comments about how glad they were to see everybody and how generous they'd all been, then said "we were surprised that your contribution didn't seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on our big day. In view of your own position, if you wanted to send any adjustment it would be thankfully received"

For someone who's not easily shocked I confess I'm utterly gobsmacked by this. So as not to drip feed I'll mention that "your own position" probably refers to a recent inheritance I've had, which maybe they expected something from (and this is an ex-colleague, remember, not a close friend or relative)

Please, anyone, what do I do now? I've never come across anything like this before and still can't quite believe they've done it - but since they have, should I reply, ring them, ignore it or what??

OMG. That is appalling! Please cancel the cheque. If it's too late for that send them sour grapes - literally, sour grapes.

No one is that brass necked surely????!!! Even by MN wedding standards that's utterly tonto.

That literally takes the for wedding shenanigans! It takes entitlement to a new level.

Do you want to keep them as friends? personally I delete and block them ungrateful twats

The mischief imp in me (which seems to be rearing it's head at the moment) would post it on FB and wait for it to appear in the daily mail when it goes viral!

I agree, cancel the cheque if you can.

£100 is more than generous. Even if you had sent £10, or nothing, the email would be incredibly cheeky.

If you cancel the cheque tell them why.

I would be too riled up not to reply how utterly rude God we got everything from £20 in a card from 2 school mums to large sums from family to photo albums and Mr and Mrs mugs. I was absolutely thrilled to bits with everything because I felt it was so nice to given a gift at all.
I cannot believe people are so staggeringly rude.

Cross post with Shiny

That's a very generous gift. I'm with PP, cancel the cheque if it's not too late. Then reply with, "Thank you for your message, it was quite illuminating. Having realised what a terrible mistake I made and being offered the opportunity to adjust the value of the gift, I have done exactly that. I'm sure you'll find the new amount much more befitting."

This is so crass I would be tempted to think it was a ill conceived joke!!

We always give £100 which we consider to be quite generous, it's what a close friend might expect to spend on a gift. Surely larger value items should be reserved for family???

I would not be able to resist replying to this, something along the lines of I am sorry, I must be misinterpreting your email as it seems to imply w have an obligation to provide a large financial donation, and we cannot for the life of us work out where this assumption might have come from. If this is the. Are we are really rather offended that £100 is considered inadequate!!

Noooooooooooooo

Surely not???

Cancel that cheque!!

(They haven't mentioned a neighbour giving them indefinite loan of a holiday home in Mexico have they? )

Shut the front door that didn't happen!!! Wow, some people ehh? Skin thicker than Donald Trump's hide. Return her message with the subject changed to "SPAM".

Have they cashed the cheque? If not, cancel it and tell them to fuck off. Very rude and grabby. I'd shame them by telling everyone they know too.

O M F G! This has to be the rudest and most ungrateful thing I've ever heard!
I agree with the others who have said cancel the cheque (if they haven't already cashed it) and donate it to charity and send them the receipt. Another idea along the lines of cancelling the cheque, you sponsor an animal like a llama as a gift to them and they'll receive whether they like it or not, constant updates on its progress.
I'm still gobsmacked that someone could be so avaricious!

Cancel the cheque, and reply to say that you are sorry the gift you could afford was not appreciated, but you were brought up with the good manners to not insist someone keeps something they don't want, so you've cancelled the cheque to save them the stress.

What is your ex-colleague like? Is their behaviour a surprise to you?

I'd definitely ask for the cheque back for you to 'adjust' it and then don't!

This thread has got Daily Mail written all over it!!

Cancel the fucking cheque.

Is this for real?

Omg what a cheeky fucker!!

I'd be cancelling the £100 cheque and sharing the email all over Facebook. I'd also tag them in it to :) Show everyone who knows them what ungrateful bastrards they are!

Please do it!

Time for a poem, I think.

Just WOW!

Are they from a particular culture where there is a different expectation of what wedding gifts should amount to, OP? I just can't understand this and have never come across anything this among my admittedly white British circle of family and friends.

Or
send them a cheque for £1000 and forget to sign it.

Or,
calculate how much you've spent to attend their wedding and send an invoice.

OMFG
You grabby cunts!
Please send me back
A full refund.

Kind regards,
OP