Post - wedding message ... please help me, what the hell do I say??

[Puzzledandpissedoff]

I recently attended an ex-colleague's wedding where, in response to a request for cash gifts, I sent what I thought was a pretty decent cheque (£100 if it matters, though I can't help feeling it shouldn't)

Last night I received an email which opened with a few comments about how glad they were to see everybody and how generous they'd all been, then said "we were surprised that your contribution didn't seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on our big day. In view of your own position, if you wanted to send any adjustment it would be thankfully received"

For someone who's not easily shocked I confess I'm utterly gobsmacked by this. So as not to drip feed I'll mention that "your own position" probably refers to a recent inheritance I've had, which maybe they expected something from (and this is an ex-colleague, remember, not a close friend or relative)

Please, anyone, what do I do now? I've never come across anything like this before and still can't quite believe they've done it - but since they have, should I reply, ring them, ignore it or what??

Cancel the cheque immediately!! That is outrageous behaviour and they don't deserve your money or good wishes, what a couple of dicks!

Explain you didn't know how to respond to her letter. Print out this page of responses and offer her any help she might need overcoming the fallout of her dreadful faux pas.

Hang on, how come in nearly 1000 messages, nobody has suggested cancelling the cheque.

Best cancel that cheque OP

Problem solved!

Sorry, coming to the party very late here. Couldn't resist suggesting cancelling the cashed cheque (loved the Tardis image....

Fraid i would have replied to the email to warn her that her account had been hacked and was sending obviously fake messages. I may have done that by means of forwarding the email to her and coping our mutual friends in, so they know about the hack and don't end up falling for any hard luck stranded stores which might turn up.

You only need to read last page and op's updates to have the full picture.

I adore that grabby bride has been outed to all her friends. I can imagine she will regret sending that twatty email for the rest of her life.

immediately!!!
Great idea.

If only people RTFT immediately

Ohhhh a christening!! Unblock them immediately OP if you're lucky you may be invited to bring your chequebook with you. #soblessed

That is utterly disgusting. We were more than gobsmacked by gifts of that size when we got married as we were very aware that attending a wedding as a guest is expensive enough nowadays.

The thread is now complete with the obligate "this is MN at its worst" post

I love the MN Police, here to remind us that RTF is The Law. From her post, I'd say bibbity is at least a superintendent.

That's so rude it's nearly unbelievable. I do feel the need to ask, do you jhave 6 children? Did you and your family demolish the buffet...?

You could pretend that you didn't receive the mail and write them a very nice card congratulating them again... And use on of these cards that charities sometimes send/sell. One that say: "Help Stamp Out Hunger", "Give a Hand", "Haiti Kids Now" or something like that...

You could even mention that you just donated to this charity and simply feel the need to encourage others to do the same....

Or send a mail and have an attachement like that or something.

That's probably what I'd do...

RTFT
LTB
CALL 101
and now...
CTFC

Completely agree with you Nacho Cheese.

That is one of the rudest and most ungrateful things I have ever heard of. All the more astounding as their message was worded so politely. Is it definitely from them or is someone playing a nasty trick so you think ? It's hard to believe it is true. I think your gift was hugely generous. If it is from them then clearly how they value friendship is entirely and seriously misguided.

No, I'm Royalty, didn't you know?

How disgraceful, I was really sorry to read that shameless email. Was your ex-ex-colleague drunk when writing that? Even that wouldn't wash as an excuse.
I agree with the others, quietly cancel the cheque and erase this "happy couple" from your memory, life's too short to bother with such people. Incidently, I believe that if you go to your bank manager, even if the cheque was cashed, as "it was issued in error" banks can work on a refund.

Cancel the fucking cheque right now and make it very clear why! Ungrateful, grabby, self entitled rude rude Cunts!!! How bloody dare they!!

That's so true Andrea she was so oddly polite in the email as if she was warning of the faux pas before wider society may find out and the OP would be shunned forever LOL

What a bloody cheek! Supposing you'd just come into oodles of money (like a £10m lotto win) would you be expected to put several noughts onto the end of every present you subsequently gave anyone? Old-fashioned I know, but I was brought up to say 'thank you' for anything I received and not to question it, no matter what. They've got bloody nerve. Unfriend them at once.

They have crossed the line. You tell them if you think I paid that money as a ticket to your wedding, then after attending I realised it wasn't worth it, you should return me my fifty pounds. Actually, I gave you this money as a gift and last time I checked our society's norm, "you accept gift whether it's small or big". I'm sorry I follow my cultural norms/values.

CTC

Yup, think that'll work

Why oh why do people not have the OP's posts highlighted in a different colour and read at least those before posting.

This thread would be about 300 posts and those who seriously think that in nearly 1000 posts no one has suggested cancelling the cheque could save their fingers the effort of posting (and yes I know most of them are sarcastic but many aren't).

Rant over

Irony

Actually Bibbity I take that back - I'm getting grumpy with it now too!

Just Cheque'ing in