I woke my DH up at 4am this morning

[momb]

By rolling over so my face was a couple of inches from his, and hissing 'Push it NOW or we're all going to die!' in a venomous stage whisper.
Apparently he shot backwards, waking in terror, fell off the bed, whereupon I awoke and rebuked him for being noisy. I have no recollection of any of this.

Anyone else a sleep talker?

Also interested to hear from Mrs Quack, how are we providing a bad example for our children? I would imagine most of them do not use Mumsnet, particularly the babies and toddlers.

sunny bitch

Quite a few years ago when my DD was about 9,she shouted out in her sleep 'Come back with that tonsil!'

Think MrsQuack has posted on the wrong website. How is this a blog

My niece is hilarious at sleep talking. She woke Dd up muttering about her lunch box being missing. It went on for about 20 minutes before Dd said "hey you're on a school lunch!" Niece agreed and just shushed and kept sleeping. Dd had the giggles over it,

I once sat up as a teenager and shouted "Stop spinning the world, I need to get off!" Then lay back down. Friend's mum and dad came to investigate and still shout it at me when I meet them

Years ago I was a young single Mum and my best friend babysat while I went on a date to a theme park. Anyway there was an accident and I got stuck in traffic for hours. Friend went to sleep in my bed . I got home and got asked about the fucking caterpillar noises. I laid there laughing and got asked what the fuck I was laughing at

As in what the fuck do caterpillars do noise wise. ? I was crying

My DP woke me the other night by shouting 'Don't!' I nearly hit the roof I jumped that much then I slightly nudged him with my elbow and he shouted 'ouch what did you do that for?' It took me ages to get back to sleep

My brothers and I sleeptalked to varying degrees as children, the freakiest one being my youngest bro having a night terror and my mum running in to calm him down, whereupon he looked at her with a look of absolute horror and screamed out "Behind you, it's behind you" mum was so freaked she turned round expecting some ghoulish monster leering at her.

The theory is that during night terrors your vision is distorted so he was looking at my mums head and it was all stretched out and distorted - bit like a lava lamp - and so looked like there was another face in the room.

I've done the waking up convinced the spiders are on me and woken dh up with my frantic swatting.

In crying with laughter at 'Lord if the tits'and 'we will have to put a nappy on that bum before you do a wee' and 'you're not going to be the fruit queen anymore' and There's a rat! And it's crawling up my arse!" 😂😂

I literally have tears pouring down my face and I'm only halfway through the thread! I'm going back to finish reading..

littlegreyauditor that "lurking offshore in the half light" is like some menacing poetry in the manner of the rhyme of the ancient mariner, or something from Dr Who, most impressed!

Exh and I once lived in a not so great area of london. I woke up in the middle of the night once to see someone standing behind our frosted glass bedroom door in the hallway. Nearly had a heart attack before realising exh wasn't next to me and was sleep walking/standing!

Oh goodness, what a thread!

Once I awoke to find DH with his face inches for mine, whispering urgently
"quick, get up, go, get out of here!"
I was crapping myself, whispered back "what, where should I go?"
DH "just go, get out, go into the bathroom"

So I went into the bathroom, stayed there for about 10 terrified minutes, then Returned cautiously to find DH fast asleep. I shoved him and asked what was all that about and he answered, smiling: "ah, nothing, it was just a mosquito".

Another time he was staying with friend in the country, where is was really dark. DH's mate heard him calling out "help...heeeeelllp" in a moany voice in the middle of the night. Mate went into DHs room, found him sitting on the foot of the bed. Apparently he had been dreaming he was locked inside a shipping container.

DH talks most nights, but usually just exclamations of frustration..." Oh far out, are you serious... you can't be serious! "" Etc...I'm assuming related to work and not me!

OMG Astrophe that must have been a long, terrifying 10 minutes!!

I shouldn't laugh but I am!

I laugh too now ;-)
And "it' as just s mosquito" has become part of the family vernacular.

This happened years ago- these days I just say " oh stop it, you're dreaming" and give him a shove. Heaven forbid he is ever genuinely warning me of some horror, after all these years of sleep crying wolf.

For the last two night's I've woken myself loudly exclaiming 'ahha'.
Not Alan Partridge style, but like I've had a major revelation. I have absolutely no recollection what I was dreaming about though.

Oddly, I also had dreams about John Smiths. It was the only keg that actually went 'boom' when I tried to change it. I would wake my ex by trying to pull pints.

My only others are trying to lace shoes and shouting to my parents that I will 'stab a cunt'.Fun times

And Mrs Quack, do fuck off. There's a dear pat

D.p talks about the surfs he tells me that the surfs are coming to get him and they are angry and that papa surf is especially bad.

This thread is so funny.

I'm a big sleep talker/walker. Once woke dh and made him look in the wardrobe for baby hamsters. Actually woke up in the wardrobe once probably looking for hamsters

My friends found me wandering out onto the balcony of our hotel room. Scary stuff! They locked the door and hid the key after that.

I once declared "I'm a lovely little Coconut".

My sister once declared 'I'll only have it if it's yellow!' Eldest sister nearly shit herself in the room next door as it was so loud. Still about 25 years on have no clue what she's on about.

Nephew used to sleep talk. I loved winding him up asking who such and such a girl was he'd mentioned in his sleep. Shame I don't live in the same house anymore!

A couple of nights ago I fell asleep on DD's bedroom floor when I put her to bed. DH came to wake me up and this was our conversation:

Me (half asleep): where is DD's tree? She needs it.
DH: tree? A toy?
Me: you know her tree. You know it.
DH: what?
Me: big sigh, this is not going to work.

DH left me there. I had no recollection in the morning.

I had a fever once and DH woke me up to have paracetamol. I remember thinking he was entering me into a competition and I kept saying "we need to do it faster. Come on". DH couldn't help laughing and then I apparently held his hand and said "wait, wait, what are we actually trying to do here?". And then I fell asleep!

I love this thread.

I once woke up to DH singing "Happy Birthday".

My mum once woke up to my dad shouting "help! The bitch has got me!" (Or something to that effect). He had the duvet very tight around his neck and when awake stated that my mum was strangling him in his dream