I woke my DH up at 4am this morning

[momb]

By rolling over so my face was a couple of inches from his, and hissing 'Push it NOW or we're all going to die!' in a venomous stage whisper.
Apparently he shot backwards, waking in terror, fell off the bed, whereupon I awoke and rebuked him for being noisy. I have no recollection of any of this.

Anyone else a sleep talker?

Had gone off* awful grammar there

Ds2 used to wake up and sit up straight,eyes wide open.Mumble and go back asleep.

I had my friend staying and she was bunking on the kids bedroo floor,heard a roar and go up to find her sitting up.My son had done his usual and she had shit herself

Apparently last night when DP came to bed I said ''Mmm, big lips" . I have sleep talked all my life. When I wake up feeling I have been dreaming a lot I know I have been chattering away.

DH quite often has "episodes" - he's thought there were burglars in the house, and once he leapt out of bed and stared at me as though he had no idea who I was, saying "Who the FUCK are you?!"
Possibly the most scary was when he dashed into the room I was sleeping in with DS2 and shouted "Where's the baby, I've lost the baby" - right next to me, DH.

But I have done it a couple of times myself - most memorable was the time I sleepwalked to the top of the stairs, aged about 7 or 8, with some really fucking weird dream about toilets and beads, and then threw up down the stairs. Parents weren't best pleased about that but kept refusing to consider how much worse it could have been if I hadn't stopped at the top of the stairs but kept going.

And then when I was pg with DS1, I dreamt that the baby had got lost in the bed - he hadn't, he hadn't been born yet! but it was a scary wake-up moment for me!

Oh, missed bits!
He thought there were burglars in the house once, he has fallen out of bed doing who knows what, and once etc. etc.

Classics! My first ever! So proud, thanks :-)

A friend of mine went on one of those ghost hunter weekends. She was horrified to find her and her dh had to sleep in bunk beds. During the night her dh thought it would be funny to tickle her face and she woke up screaming.
In the morning all the ghost hunters were comparing notes as to who had heard the 'scream' in the night. She didn't confess

Dh hasn't said anything about me sleep talking ...

But, thanks to the vivid dreams I'm having at the moment, I did dream the other night that our dd (due in a few weeks) rolled off our bed. So I jumped and reached out to stop her and ended up punching dh in the face and waking us both up in the process

Let's just say he wasn't impressed at being woken up that way

My DH screams and swears in his sleep - proper, loud, blood curdling man-screams. I normally wake up with a start and then soothe him gently (shut the hell up you're frightening the dog). He never remembers the dreams but believes he is being chased, or when especially aggressive and sweary, defending us from some unseen attacker.

I just talk utter bollocks, but he says he can't be sure if I'm awake or asleep.

I'm a terrible sleep talker , my most embarrassing- to DH not me was on a night flight when apparently all was quiet and I began wrestling with my blanket and kicking my legs muttering "leave it leave it" next I sat bolt upright and screamed "fuuuuuck oooofffffffff " He really did consider moving seats and leaving me to it . I woke up for breakfast and he was furious with me and wouldn't talk to me - I had no idea why

When my husband was in the army he used to spend several weeks in Norway. Some of the time they would be sleeping in 10 man tents within the artic circle. One time after being away he woke me up shaking me shouting "where are my underpants". I did question him as to what he thought had happened but wasn't very forth coming.

What is this load of filthy expletive driven drivel? I don't want a parent discussion board with such unacceptable language . If you cant blog without crudities and profanities, don't bother posting anything at all and set a better example to your children if you are parents which you must be to be posting this rubbish

Quack

Not particularly odd or even funny but my DP is a driving instructor: he frequently gives lessons in his sleep.

I woke to the sound of our old neighbours involved in a loud argument with their house guests, which was spilling onto the street. I told my DH what was happening while peeping out of the window. He started to chuckle, so I thought he wad awake and listening to the shenanigans, until he said 'plastic drainage piping'

I have sleeping 'issues' especially when I'm overtired. One time I lost a baby (I have twins) and went crazy looking for 'the other baby'. God knows how much worse I'd have been if I'd actually had triplets.

I have also woken DH by rummaging around in his boxers trying to put a nappy on. He thought he was getting some action.

Then there's been spiders behind the curtains, grasshoppers in the bed and shell on prawns in the bed. All of which have resulted in me smacking them away in a frenzy.

There have been others I don't remember. He's found me scrambling across the bed to switch the light on and muttering about things that I have no recollection of the next morning.

Goldrush sooooo funny!!! talking to your dh's bottom!!!

I once woke a boyfriend by running across the bed. Not proper running - I was still lieing in bed, on my side. It meant I kicked him, which woke him. (Never worked when I did it deliberately because he was snoring.) Fortunately, he found it funny.

A few months ago, I woke up because I could hear singing. I was singing to myself...

Am in absolute bits and being told off for shaking the sofa with my giggling.
Dds both sleep talk especially when ill, a couple from this week dd1 comes running into living room to tell me dd2 is speaking another language and it's scaring her.
Last night dd2 apparently told dd1 she wasn't allowed to wear the mask, only the one in the bedroom. ??
Just remembered having to double lock the front door when dd2 was younger as she was once found wandering down the balcony during the night. No idea where she was off to!

I woke up one night, to this day can't work.out if I was actually awake or asleep, but I couldn't figure out who the he'll was asleep next to me. I started to panic, would drink what the he'll would happen when dh got home from work. I led so still, so I wouldn't wake him , while still frantically trying to figure out who it was and why he was in my bed. I then properly woke up and realised I had actually been asleep and it was dh asleep next to me.

I have also woke myself and dh up by screaming and then made him strip the bed and lift the mattress trying to find the frog that was the size if a dinner plate. Took dh a while to convince me I must have been dreaming it!

The other night DD1 called out in her sleep "mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy!"
Nothing special about that except it woke her boyfriend. She's 24.
He nudged her and said, "Hey, you're calling for your mum."
Still apparently fast asleep, she said, "This is so embarrassing"

MrsQuack

Fuck off.

Hey MrsQuack

Yeah duck off Mrs Quack. You humourless bird 😏