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Is Voldemort a virgin?

500 replies

OhShutUpThomas · 21/02/2016 21:07

And any other Harry Potter mysteries!

Can anyone answer mine?
Is Voldemort a virgin?
What happened to Rodolphus Lestrange?
Why do some spells take weeks and hours of homework to learn, yet Harry can imperious people by just saying it?

Anyone else? I've got more, can't think just now. Just finished re-reading!

OP posts:
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OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 21/02/2016 23:10

accio spine

I may have just laughed out loud SmallBee Grin that would totally be my spell of choice if I was a witch Grin

bruffin · 21/02/2016 23:11

Mrsarthur
They live in a very cold windy castle, and keeping warm burns a lot of calories.

SuffolkNWhat · 21/02/2016 23:11

Ah don't forget Filch's running club: Jogwarts

springscoming · 21/02/2016 23:11

He dangles Bellatrix on a string for a power trip. He'd have had pervy sex with women he despised and there would have been violence or murder involved because underneath it all, he loathes himself.

OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 21/02/2016 23:14

And the Hufflepuff Lifting Club...

Is Voldemort a virgin?
Trills · 21/02/2016 23:15

Voldemort never actually had sex with Bellatrix.

She worships him already - he doesn't need to.

OneFlewOverTheDodosNest · 21/02/2016 23:20

Best thread ever and now I totally want to work at HP studios. I could totally do HP circle time...

springscoming · 21/02/2016 23:27

The reason they don't get fat after all that dodgy food? Exbelliarmus of course! Grin

TaraCarter · 21/02/2016 23:29

I think using magic probably uses a lot of energy.

VertigoNun · 21/02/2016 23:31

One of the Malfoy gang was fat.

Devora · 21/02/2016 23:37

I think Neville was plump at the beginning, and Pansy Parkinson (is that her name? the Slytherin girl). I have to say I don't like the way JK makes obesity a sign of moral turpitude (Dursley Snr and Jnr, Aunt Marge, Crabbe/Goyle). But it is amazing how much food they get at Hogwarts, and how little exercise (do any of them do PE if they're not on a quidditch team?).

Trills · 21/02/2016 23:38

Just an excuse really...

Is Voldemort a virgin?
OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 21/02/2016 23:40

You can't post a Matthew Lewis pic without THE Matthew Lewis picture Wink Grin

PippaPug · 21/02/2016 23:41

Anyone else planning to apply for a job at HP studios - even though I live miles away?!

3luckystars · 21/02/2016 23:42

Yeah but they just eat at the mealtimes. They are not walking around eating bags of taytos or bars of chocolate watching films in the evenings. They are always on the go, no tvs.

Just thinking, that invisibility cloak, if it was draped properly could knock inches off a waist. Ooo I so want to go to Harry Potter land!!

JenEric · 22/02/2016 00:31

Re parents:

As mentioned I think the potters had James late in life so them having died and left a huge inheritance that ends up Harry's makes total sense.

I reckon on Lilly's side some bad shit went down during the dark days around the time of James and Lilly's death. War in the wizarding world taking petunias parents and his sister would explain her total bitterness towards magic.

FuckOffDavid · 22/02/2016 00:48

Voldy well shagged Bellatrix.

Condorwoman · 22/02/2016 00:49

Boulevard There's bound to be a few lonely witches hanging around Diagon Alley and the Leaky Cauldron. Then there's the ones who work at The Ministry of Magic. He's had more opportunity than Voldemort. Other than Bellatrix of course.

PoppieD · 22/02/2016 00:51

Shameless insomniac placemarking- as loving this thread! Off topic, I have bizarrely developed odd crush on Tom Felton after his performance in Full Circle. (Feel better now that's out there...Blush )

Condorwoman · 22/02/2016 00:53

What do you think the chances of JKR replying to a tweet asking if either Vold or Snape were virgins? She does seem quite chatty.

VoldysGoneMouldy · 22/02/2016 00:53

James's parents died of dragon pox, having had him quite late in life, it finished them both off. (God I love Pottermore facts.)

Voldemort never shagged Bella. That would have made them equals in her eyes, and he never wanted that.

The Queen said that a lot of magical children are homeschooled, and that plus the first wizarding war would have cut down the year group sizes.

Why the hell did Wormtail stay with the Weasley family for so long?

How did James and Lily end up getting together?

How the fuck did no one notice the snake mark on the COS tap until Harry came along fifty years later?

Condorwoman · 22/02/2016 00:56

Chances are

VoldysGoneMouldy · 22/02/2016 00:57

Voldemort destroyed his soul and his body matched - did he still have a penis when he died?

cranberryx · 22/02/2016 01:07

Voldemort:

Are you going to bed?
Do you mind if I Slytherin?

Grin
wickedlazy · 22/02/2016 02:27

I could see Voldemort being a rapist, taking what he wanted by force. I don't think he would want to have sex with someone who was willing, think that would have turned him off. Could also see him killing the women afterwards once he left school. I think snape could have died a virgin, because he never got over Lilly, although it's possible he had the odd fling to try to get over her.

I think each year has about 140 pupils, but not x amount from each house. Would Hufflepuff have a lot more pupils than the rest? And Slytherin much less?

There are certainly other ways than the killing curse to magically kill people. Molly Weasley killed Bellatrix with an unidentified curse. I think she knocked the wind out of her with one spell then smashed her to pieces with something like reducto.

The gold plates are probably Goblin crafted, or magically altered, so don't go by the same rules as muggle golden plates Grin

As for contraception, I imagine they have some sort of potion that can be used, (and obtained from Madam Pomfrey) and potion shops/ St. Mungo's etc. And that Lilly forgot to take it for whatever reason. Molly Weasley must have just loved babies/kids and wanted a big family. Or just kept trying until she had a girl (remember when Ron "kills" the horcrux, it plays on his fear his mother would have loved him more if he'd been a girl).

I think the snake on taps in chamber of secrets would have been noticed, but as no one could speak parseltongue they would have had no idea that it opened anything. Probably just put it down to normal graffiti.

I was thinking the other day about how ironic and brilliant it was to have Narcissa Malfoy (because of her love of Draco) save the day. And how people always seem to overlook the fact she did save Harry who then saved everyone else.