to kill all the spiders?

[bessarabiantiger]

We live in the country, we're very lucky with our house and we've been here two years. There's a lake on the property and with lakes come mosquito hoardes (fine, live and let live, we knew about this when ee took the place, and with mosquito hoardes come spiders.

I am alright with most types of spider, I allow Huntsman (? Spindly legged) in every room as they're no bother and keep the mossies down when we have the windows open. Brown recluse get ejected with a glass & cardboard or eaten by the cat.

This year we have a problem with false widows and a kind we've never seen before. They are awful. Striped and with extra long front legs, they shamble across the ceiling as if they're drunk & often fall in your drink/dinner/hair.

We now have around 80 of the fuckers in the kitchen. They are making nests. For many people this wouldn't even be an issue. But me being me I've said to myself, well the windows are open, they aren't scaring me on purpose (even after the night I walked into the kitchen without turning the lights on and had one who was making a web land on my face. ARGH!) Etc. Etc.

We've used every natural repellant going. From plug-in spider scarers (knew they were bullshit but was at wits end last sept) to conkers, peppermint oil, spider hoover, removing them all outside (shudder. That was a horrible day) only to find a new gang there in the morning.

After me and DH being bitten this week (him on the neck, me on the hand WHILST ASLEEP IN BED! Hand swelled up for the next 24 hours, yes, it was a spider, found it crawling down my leg) I have finally and very reluctantly bought spider poison.

I am hoping someone can offer a better solution before I have to use it. DS has mild asthma and am worried about the effect on him (we will evacuate for the day after use) and it's an aersol as well as a poison. It sounds silly, but I've only ever used aerosol twice- the ozone layer was so drummed into me at school it feels akin to pooping straight down a whales blow hole!

AIBU to kill the spiders so they stop biting us? Has anyone got any other solution?

We break webs and remove visible offenders bi-daily BTW.

You've got me giggling about tomorrow and jerry now. The one where the little duck thinks toms his mum
That's my mummy

We're still here! It has been a month so maybe it just stops when it gets to the maximum of 1000 messages....

It's been nominated a few times but MNHQ haven't deemed it Classics-worthy, it seems.

Waah! No fair! Oi MNHQ!!! Get it sorted will ya? We like this Fred here, our Bess has given us a well needed laugh!

AIBU threads don't get deleted based on date or number of messages

It should still go in classics though

@FattyNinjaOwl

Waah! No fair! Oi MNHQ!!! Get it sorted will ya? We like this Fred here, our Bess has given us a well needed laugh!

Apologies! We'll move it over there now!

Thank you!!

Nothing to see here

Yay! Thanks MNHQ!

Thanks MNHQ I'd nominated it too

I think we should have a second thread when this one is nearly maxed out Bess , its given me the best laughs in ages

Holy shit! [Dons posh hat]

Gosh. Thankyou.

I suppose I have to go and find some more comedy wildlife now...

Yay! Classics!
What a great way to end spider season, so glad you are all coming out the other side of the take over, with most of you completely indoctrinated by the arachnid overlords relatively unscathed. Now spare a thought for us poor souls in the southern hemisphere, who are just coming into spider season. I hear aid packets of strawberry laces can really help

tomato you can order them in Oz British Sweets & Treats AU

My garden spiders have a new tactic. They creep into the laundry basket while I'm taking the clothes off the line so that when I tip the clothes out when back inside - voila! Spider surprise.

I'm wise to this now and have caught 2 so far in the act and had to eject them from the basket before filling it.

The ones in bushes are massive now. Huge, mutant, obese things. They have obviously been gorging themselves. The DC won't go near the garden now.

I agree we need a second thread. I'm sure there is more than enough comedy wildlife residing at Bess's abode.

Well we never did get to find out about the swan that ruined christmas. Or how the Kingfisher died. I vote for both of those!

I have just spent several hours dribbling a while looking at all the British sweets you can get in Australia (very unfair).

I got another spider in my car, little bugger had camouflaged itself to the colour of the car cover. A car cover we only have because a certain freaky bastard bird of prey has taken a shine to my car roof. He sits on it and watches our chihuahua, chickens and the marmosets in the trees around the house.

Nooooooooooooo!

I've spent all day literally ALL day reading the thread from start to finish...and now I've got to the end I don't know what to do with myself.

bimble hunt down a spider and force it to do stand up comedy?

We've got a lovely big one living on the landing underneath a chest of drawers, it's hiding in a fluffy bathmat, thus proving the theory earlier that they Iove clean warm towels.
I shoo'ed it in there from its previous stupid home - in the middle of the stairs. DH was visibly shuddering whenever he went up the stairs. I knew he was going to squash it if I didn't move it.

I'd have let him squash it.

I'm feeling SO MUCH PRESSURE RIGHT NOW. I've been walking around shouting at wildlife all day and they are doing fuck all in terms of comedy. Tomorrow I shall antagonise something vicious, for mumsnet and saint george!

hello bimble, if this thread has taught me
anything, it's always jump up and down on towels, and check under your pillows at night. Because spiders.

for mumsnet and saint george!

I have two trees outside my kitchen window and the other day I counted 17 webs. Some were really high up and I was very impressed.

They're gone...

All those spiders are gone...

Where have all the spiders gone?

They're in my house, aren't they.

tomato I'm so sorry! I forgot you are South America aren't you

Yes jelly, yes they are.

Don't worry PatricianOfAnkhMorpork I have plans, they involve a mahussive empty suitcase on my next trip to the UK. I can fill one of those buggers with A LOT of sweets can even sell them to all the easy prey diplomats out here that are craving British sweets. I may stink by the time I leave, given that I'll have no clothes, but it will be well worth it. My family may disown me if I get stopped by customs, having to explain the sherbert dib-dabs might be a little interesting.

STAY WITH US! WE CAN GET MASHED ON FLYING SAUCERS AND THROW THEM AT THE ISEMBARDS!