to kill all the spiders?

[bessarabiantiger]

We live in the country, we're very lucky with our house and we've been here two years. There's a lake on the property and with lakes come mosquito hoardes (fine, live and let live, we knew about this when ee took the place, and with mosquito hoardes come spiders.

I am alright with most types of spider, I allow Huntsman (? Spindly legged) in every room as they're no bother and keep the mossies down when we have the windows open. Brown recluse get ejected with a glass & cardboard or eaten by the cat.

This year we have a problem with false widows and a kind we've never seen before. They are awful. Striped and with extra long front legs, they shamble across the ceiling as if they're drunk & often fall in your drink/dinner/hair.

We now have around 80 of the fuckers in the kitchen. They are making nests. For many people this wouldn't even be an issue. But me being me I've said to myself, well the windows are open, they aren't scaring me on purpose (even after the night I walked into the kitchen without turning the lights on and had one who was making a web land on my face. ARGH!) Etc. Etc.

We've used every natural repellant going. From plug-in spider scarers (knew they were bullshit but was at wits end last sept) to conkers, peppermint oil, spider hoover, removing them all outside (shudder. That was a horrible day) only to find a new gang there in the morning.

After me and DH being bitten this week (him on the neck, me on the hand WHILST ASLEEP IN BED! Hand swelled up for the next 24 hours, yes, it was a spider, found it crawling down my leg) I have finally and very reluctantly bought spider poison.

I am hoping someone can offer a better solution before I have to use it. DS has mild asthma and am worried about the effect on him (we will evacuate for the day after use) and it's an aersol as well as a poison. It sounds silly, but I've only ever used aerosol twice- the ozone layer was so drummed into me at school it feels akin to pooping straight down a whales blow hole!

AIBU to kill the spiders so they stop biting us? Has anyone got any other solution?

We break webs and remove visible offenders bi-daily BTW.

They certainly do! They stop-motion their way toward true massive horror size.

Oh god.

Oh my god, aurora. That was like a short horror story. So it's still out there, presumably with a shiny new skin ??

Thumbwich - wtaf?! That's it antennae that's going out of shot? I thought you had lassooed the bugger.

Oh no, did I kill the thread?

I've never killed a thread before and now I've gone and killed a damn good 'un.

Fucking hell, one of those giant, pint glass filling fuckers just ran across my HAND. How I didn't throw my laptop across the room I don't know, scared the hell out of DH shrieking and must have made a leap to rival an Olympic long jumper whilst ripping off my nightie in case it was still on me

Even worse the fucker then disappeared, I was about to decamp upstairs when it shot out from under the sofa. I've never been more glad to have whippets who enjoy snacking on spiders, one of them made very short work of the sneaky little bastard.

I have just seen a horrible spider video on Facebook!

I come back to find you've all been having such fun without me

Far too many scary pics, I can safely say I will not be visiting you Thumb, there are limits!
My tale is somewhat mild by comparison. Charlotte the cheap chandelier pushed her luck by bringing a friend over. I tolerated their partying for a few days but then they appeared to have had a fall out and were eyeing each other malevolently from lower and lower down the wall. My Miele vacuum cleaner isn't the cat and dog one. Nuff said

Oh I have a Charlotte in my bathroom, I have left her there and am quite comforted by her presence. I had to stop the cat attacking her though!

Married - you vaccuumed a pair of Charlottes?
I'm not sure Bess will ever forgive you.

I don't usually hudyerwheesht, I'm not totally heartless. It was just because of where they were- the upstairs landing where the ceiling is very low, they were in danger of being headbutted or hitching a ride on me.
The others are safe, and there's a spider disco in the shed

What the f!
I've just been sent a link to this thread from someone who clearly doesn't like me much.
Five pages in and I want to be sick, leave the country (or possibly world) and kill every spider in existence.
Can anyone identify a spider for me that's living under my bath if I post a picture?

Meet fat Albert who is very slowly inching his way out onto the floor when he thinks I'm not looking

I do like you Wonka! This thread is my gift to you

You don't get many of those to the bugle.

Thanks lemon
I shall return the favour one day

at spider disco.

at Fat Albert. Who would not be alive if he were in my bathroom.

Fat Albert must die!

Seems I've got me a giant house spider according to Google

Who is probably mighty pissed off that I killed Mrs Albert earlier this week. who was too big to be flushed down the plughole when she thought it would be funny to run around the bath while I was having a shower

And now he's moved and could be anywhere.

Hope you all sleep well because I'm never going to sleep again

You bastards. Especially op

You total funking bastards. All you ones who posted on the first 5 pages at least. And especially lemon who won't be getting any wonka chocolate for quite some time.

I'm sat in the half light.

Do you have ANY FUNKING IDEA how many stains on the carpet / duvet cover / walls etc someone with two Snack sized children and my house keeping skills have?

Arse.

Fat Albert will be out to avenge the murder death of his wife.
I would be very afraid if I were you. Ditch the bow and arrow and get a flame thrower.....

Every spider in the world is crawling over the house until I inspect and it turns out to be Miniwonkas latest artistic offering or where I dropped a baked bean last night.

And I'm itching all over.

You fuckers

Lol. I twitch every time something brushes against me and keep scanning the floors on a regular sweep like a searchlight in one of those old concentration camp films.....

What eats massive spiders?

I killed a giant spider last night, went back this morning to deal with the corpse and all that was left was one spindly leg.

Is there something bigger and hairier I should be watching out for?

There is only one thing spiders are scared of. You might need to check your pipes to see if you have a basilisk.

I sleep on a mattress on the floor just so you all know. And the notsosnacksized wonklet has a habit of brushing up against me in the middle of the night.

squoosh shush. Things are bad enough already. Ignorance is bliss