What's your best sporn story?

[Ouchbloodyouch]

How excited do you get when you see KLAXON? Sometimes you get a few in a week.. sometimes there is a drought! So in order to keep us sporners truly satisfied can we do our ultimate ultimate sporn stories? I've just shared my blackhead story on another thread (TAAT guilt) but this is my best..if it looks familiar its because I have posted it under a different name.
Many years ago I became aware of a very sharp pain on my left side. Between the hip and the buttock. Upon examination there wasn't much to be seen other than something that looked like a teeny pimple. I pierced the top with a sterile needle and nothing happened. Owing to the position of the 'pimple' I had to grab my flesh to bring it to a better viewing position.. well.. as I did that the pressure I applied caused a jet of pus to spew three feet across the room. In an arc! I've never seen the like. After evacuating the pimple I took a hot bath and tried again. Lo and behold it happened again to a lesser extent.
That was it. The best half hour of my life. I've never had anything like it since.
Over to you. .

Do any of you get over excited when you walk into those loos where you have the artificial light where it shows blackheads in the mirror that you never knew existed? My nearest pub has a loo like this. I pray for it to be empty while I have a good dig!

Ah kato of follicle bollicle (sp) you're late!! Do share for our newest sporners!

Ouch - travelodge bathrooms do the same!

Ahhh my bollicle. 8x5cm mass of fanjo boil that had its own live thread whereupon lovely mumsnetters got me to go to the hospital.

It was removed under GA, BUT! It refills! Think it's a pregnancy thing but last time I re squeezed, it shot across the bathroom and up the roller blind.

I also had one years ago on the neighbouring flap (!) that crunched out slowly and was grey and mutton pie filling esque!

Books into travelodge..

This thread shows we should have a sporn topic in its own right

Love this thread.

Plane loos! Always show up things I never knew I had. I always have a good squeeze. I need a mirror like that at home.

I have a really blackheady nose and squeezed it so much over so many years I have some little broken capillaries around my nostrils :(

I'm a lurker and have often wondered about posting my tale.

I gave birth to DD last year and after struggling like hell for 8 weeks I gave up breastfeeding. My left breast had been tender for about 3 weeks prior to this and had a swelling that prevented DD from latching on. I'd also had mastitis and a cracked nipple in the same breast but despite 2 visits to the GP, chats with the health visitor and a BF consultant they all told me it was normal swelling that would go down eventually.

Long story short, 2 weeks later I was in the shower when I noticed a small spot on the side of my breast. I poked it and it suddenly erupted and pus POURED out of the hole. I'm not kidding when I say there was probably a pint of the stuff. I got DH to take a photo of the carnage and promptly went to A&E where they diagnosed an abscess: I had to go back every week for a month to get it drained, as well as taking super-strength antibiotics.

I was bloody lucky in some respects that it didn't turn out worse, but lesson learnt - trust your instincts.

And yes, I still have the photos

DH was walking in the woods and a tree/big branch had fallen across the path, wedging against another tree.

He bent down to go under it, but didn't quite bend down far enough and caught his head on the branches as he went under (turned out it was full of thorns which cut his head - this is relevant!). It hurt like hell and bled but didn't think much of it at the time.

Three weeks later, his cut had turned into a massive painful lump. After pinning him down talking him around, he let me have a poke.

There was a scab there that I picked off. I gave the lump a squeeze and POP, out came an explosion of puss, and it kept coming and coming.

After all the puss drained out, there was still a hard lump. I squeezed it further and a massive, and I mean bloody huge, thorn came out

It left a bloody huge hole in DHs head. Literally, a big circular, perfect hole.

I took bloody loads of photos while dribbling with joy It was years ago, I'll have to dig them out one day.

My car mirror gets a splattering of pus from time to time. Its the best place to do face spots, you can get really close.

I love the exploding boob!

We pay £50 for every photo included actually we don't but if I could just fool one of you

I was sitting A levels, around May time, and remember being uncomfortable in my seat, blamed long exams and hard placcy chairs. Bum got more painful over the summer and by early September it was uncomfortable to sit anywhere. My DM had a look and could see a small white spot on my coccyx. I had a poke around, but nothing happened.

Two days later and I have a rash that creeps right across my bum and around my waist, so I booked in to see my doctor - I ws a shy 18yr old and he was very tasty he gave me antibios.

Just two days later I thought I'd have a look: on all fours with a big mirror. I stretched my bum a bit to get a good look and fuchooey it exploded all over my foot - damn it was hot! And the whiff

I had one of those spots on my breast. It didn't seem to clear, and I could feel it was a lump, so I dutifully took it to the GP, who said it was just a dermatofibratoma (I think) and nothing to worry about unless it changed size or shape. It had been there for about 3 months by then.

A month or two later, I was taking a look at it, to see if it was growing or diminishing or anything - and suddenly I had pus explode across the bathroom. Not pints of it, though. It still fills , but nothing like as impressive (because I don't have the patience to wait long enough.)

I am not entirely sure that my GP is a sporner. She's very excellent in other ways, though.

A blackhead I had when a teen remains unsurpassed. Black tip, then orange, then greeny cream, fading down into that white cottage cheese stuff. It went on for not literally miles.

This just keeps getting better and better..

Loving this thread. Another DP picket here.

My most satisfying moment was 10 years ago whilst at uni. My boyfriend at the time, had a big lump on his back. As I squeezed out all the gunk, slowly a long hard object started to emerge. It turned out to be a 2cm long thorn! He had apparently been pushed into a bush some weeks before on a drunkern walk home. 'Twas a thing of beauty.

I thought I was the only one who loved this sort of thing!
My mouth is watering! Which happens whenever i discuss this! ( my mum and auntie are the same!)

You guys would love my mum's Biggest Blackhead In The World TM. It's on her back, and the size of a 50 pence piece, like a big ball of grease. Every few years she gets me to squidge it out. I feel like it's wasted on me, I only have slight sporn tendencies.

I had an ingrown hair under my arm when I was about 18. I popped it out and it was coiled round zillions of times, it could probably have been a metre long. It stank. Totally rank.

Best. Thread. Ever

Classics please

I dreamt I had a spot on my face which yielded a foot long piece of white gunge. if only...