What's your best sporn story?

[Ouchbloodyouch]

How excited do you get when you see KLAXON? Sometimes you get a few in a week.. sometimes there is a drought! So in order to keep us sporners truly satisfied can we do our ultimate ultimate sporn stories? I've just shared my blackhead story on another thread (TAAT guilt) but this is my best..if it looks familiar its because I have posted it under a different name.
Many years ago I became aware of a very sharp pain on my left side. Between the hip and the buttock. Upon examination there wasn't much to be seen other than something that looked like a teeny pimple. I pierced the top with a sterile needle and nothing happened. Owing to the position of the 'pimple' I had to grab my flesh to bring it to a better viewing position.. well.. as I did that the pressure I applied caused a jet of pus to spew three feet across the room. In an arc! I've never seen the like. After evacuating the pimple I took a hot bath and tried again. Lo and behold it happened again to a lesser extent.
That was it. The best half hour of my life. I've never had anything like it since.
Over to you. .

[JollyFrog]

Well ive got a thread going at the mo all about my fanjo spot.
the crunch when it popped and pus flew out was awsome.
we are still awaiting a refill as there it still a largish lump there, but its been 2 days now.......

[Ohwhatfuckeryisthis]

We love you Benedictine. (Is mrsB a MNetter too? She'd like us)
My best was my dad-told this before. He had a boil on back of neck. Mum couldn't do it. Middle of summer, I'm wearing halter top. (It's important) dad had been black ointment ing the fucker. I carefully took the lint off. Was glorious. Dad pulled the skin apart-nothing. I said-there's a bit of lint stuck in it. I tugged it and boom! There was a fantastic splat and it exploded all over me. Stunk like sulphur, but it went on and on all yellow and green. Sigh.
I'm now late for work.

[Skinheadmermaid]

I burst and drained a bartholin's cyst.
It involved a needle and DH holding a mirror but under strict instructions not to look.
Lots and lots of fluid came out. The relief was immense. Thankfully it hasn't flared up since.

[HowCanIMissYouIfYouWontGoAway]

Oh, it was a massive boil in a personal area, Ouchbloodyouch. Huge. One day I turned the shower on it, then grabbed the whole thing (it filled my hand) and squeezed. Hard.

I both heard and felt a pop, followed by a prolonged feeling/noise that I can only describe as pfffffft as it drained into my hand, filling it with a thick gooey pus and blood and then a more solid lump of pus.

I have a small one under my arm that appears every few years. It's about the size of a pea. I grab round the back of it and pull forward and it relieves itself with considerable force into the palm of my cupped hand. It leaves a small hole into which you can insert the tip of your little finger. Then it heals and again we wait...

[Ouchbloodyouch]

Jollyfrog I started this thread BECAUSE of your fanjo spot. Its not refilling quick enough

[GemmaTeller]

I've had a few corkers over the years!

When I was a teenager I got a huge spot on my cheekbone - it was too scary to even attempt a squeeze.
After a few days it started to dry out and scab over.
I hesitantly picked the scab off and there was a big lump of dry pus stuck to it.

On finding a mirror to investigate further the spot had bled and there was another huge lump of pus half way down my cheek in the trail of blood.

There was also a further huge lump of dry pus sat at the opening of the spot which scooped off on my nail leaving (what I remember being) a rather large hole.

It scared the crap out of me at the time but I remember it fondly

[Oldraver]

My OH has had a grape size lump on his neck for what seems like ages, I did prod and poke it but nothing came of it. A few weeks ago there was a little brown bit and a small amount of stuff came out of a hair follicle.

He let me haave a proper go at it and I was squeezing out stuff for an hour, it was stiff cottage cheesy smelly stuff I doused it in Tea Tree and it got left for a while as it hurt like fuck where, he says, I had prodded it.

I got another go last week and it was more pussy but not smelly, lots of shooting over my shoulder stuff. Its ready to go on its own at the moment, and I'm hoping to have another go at it but he's getting possesive over it.

I took pic in the week but not sure he would let me post it

[Ouchbloodyouch]

We wont tell oldraver

[Lj8893]

Oh wow im not alone in my weird fetish!

in the summer i developed a large painful boil on my stomach, eventually i pricked it and it drained bright yellow pus for 3 days!! I had to keep tweezing out hard lumps of pus that was blocking it up.
a week later i got another one, and another one, and another one. In total over the summer i had 8!!!

[Mouthfulofquiz]

I think that legally now, that lump is yours oldraver

[Oldraver]

I've told OH (as he asked what I was laughing at) what SPORN meant and he said we were all a bunch of nutters

I'll work on him

I remembered when DS was in SCBU and he got a red angry spot in his groin crease, showed the nurse and she said would have a word with the doctor....he only went and bloody well popped it when I wasn't there

[Jumblebee]

Oh I'm so jealous of every single one of you who've had lovely juicy squirters! ahem

I don't get spots often but when I do they are squeezed straight away! I sometimes examine DP just to double check he doesn't have any good'uns but alas he is not sufficiently spotty :( I should LTB.

He does have quite a few blackheads and large pores which he will no longer let me have after the first incident (bloody spoilsport!) He said I have this "look" on my face when I see a good squeezable blackhead that he is scared of

[madamginger]

I got one on my bum once. It was enormous (about the size of a 50p piece) and really painful, I couldn't sit down.
I stuck a needle in it and the pus shot out everywhere! Was very satisfying
I can still feel the hole under the skin where it was

[Oldraver]

OH is generally a good sport, he lets me at a couple of recurring blackheads on his back and he did tell me about his 'special spot'

He has a little hole that refills were he was circumcized as a child...and yes he will let me at it

[Alchemist]

Years ago I had a boil on my thigh/groin crease. Huge it was and it would just not come to a head. It would swell, I would pick, poke and squeeze but nothing. It would go down a bit and so on.

One day I was crouching down to change a CD (Spiritualized but can't remember which song) and I heard a crunchy noise and louds of really thick pus came out. It looked like the shape of the cheese/tartex tubes you squeeze, like a star. Was lovely star shaped pus :).

DP was horrified and we finished not long after that. I miss that lovely boil :(.

[Hoppinggreen]

I don't get many myself but FIL has a golfball sized cyst on his back.
Mil won't go near it so he asks me to do it regularly. He was having chemo which made his skin delicate so I refused to do it for a while until last summer when I had a go - stinky cottage cheese shot out all over my top. We were at it for about half an hour .
It was awesome!! He rang the other day to ask when I was going to see them as it was " very full up and bothering him" . So if anyone lives near Sheffield there is an elderly man awaiting a good sporning, better than YouTube I promise. Not just a one off either, requires regular attention.
I also had a horse with a huge infected boil on its hoof, that was pretty good too.

[SheWhoDaresGins]

I am glad to see I am not alone.

I had a lump right at the top of my inner thigh when I was pregnant, my knicker elastic kept rubbing it making more painful than it should have been, the thing is I just couldn't get at it unless I squatted. So I did just that, squatted down on the bedroom floor and gave it a good squeeze. There was an audible pop and the gunk that came out was spectacular, I kept squeezing till there was just blood coming out. The best bit about it was the scab, that's where my love lies. Scabs. I am a serial picker.

[manchestermummy]

I had a huge something on my cheek. It was very swollen and painful. I was driving home from work, stuck in traffic, and started to have a go. And did it go. My hand was full. Thankfully dh had been using my car and has a habit of leaving tissues everywhere so I was mopping up while driving.

[TaliZorahVasNormandy]

Ahhhhh, the human body is so delightfully disgusting.

[NorahBone]

When I was a teenager I had a spot on my face that I kept squeezing; it would scab over but kept returning. One day I got sick of the Phoenix spot and kept sqeezing and wiping away the watery blood for ages. Eventually a massive lump of hard pus shot out and left a little hole in my face. No blood or scab.

[Alchemist]

Ohh ShwWho I was in a car accident and my leg had to have skin grafts.

I was told by my consultant I had to pick at the area to encourage the new skin growth. I lost most of my calf so there was quite an area to pick :).

[LurkingHusband]

MrsLH has had a cyst on her buttock for ages - just doing nothing. Then a few months ago, it started hurting. GP checked it and said it was infected, and a course of antibiotics before removal. It leaked a tad, but was quite resistant to squeezing . It was removed under local by the minor surgery practice near us. Apparently the Dr managed to remove the sac entirely, and it had a very long tail .

There are some fascinating YouTube clips of surgical removal. Apparently .

However, the best one was shortly after we met. MrsLH had a bungled attempt at earrings as a teen, leaving something in the earlobe. One day she woke up, and noticed the pillow was damp one side. I looked, and there was a weeping lump in her earlobe. I dabbed it with a tissue, and something started coming out. It wasn't pus or cream cheese, more like a fibrous strand that turned out to be over a foot long . Never came back.

[RubberBulletKisses]

No pus involved in mine, unfortunately, but it was amazingly satisfying... DH had something on his back that he refused to let me touch for ten years because it hurt. It looked a bit like a tiny mole. A few weeks ago I had a feel in bed and it felt a bit pointy, like a blackhead. He said it didn't hurt when I prodded it so he let me have a go at it I kind of slid my nail under the edges, like you do with a scab when you're not sure it's ready to be picked, and then the whole thing just kind of came out! It had a sort of tail that was a couple of millimetres long, and it left a narrow but quite deep, perfectly circular hole in his back. It was amazing.

[TaliZorahVasNormandy]

Lurking, its time like that you wished you film it, that sounds awesome.

[HootyMcTooty]

Rooty I had the TB jab at 14 and the same happened to me, it's a sign of natural immunity. My pustule was enormous (2 inches across) and I left it for 2 years! My pustule created the family chant of "lance it, lance it, lance it!"

Went to GP countless times and was told, under no circumstances should I lance it. Eventually I could take it no more, so I sterilised a needle and popped it. My family demanded to witness the event, it was a wonderful moment. About a serving spoon's worth of pus oozed out of it. I have a horrible scar, but it was worth it.

I also had a fanjo spot, which I popped and the push shot out about 2ft. 'Twas exciting.