What's your best sporn story?

[Ouchbloodyouch]

How excited do you get when you see KLAXON? Sometimes you get a few in a week.. sometimes there is a drought! So in order to keep us sporners truly satisfied can we do our ultimate ultimate sporn stories? I've just shared my blackhead story on another thread (TAAT guilt) but this is my best..if it looks familiar its because I have posted it under a different name.
Many years ago I became aware of a very sharp pain on my left side. Between the hip and the buttock. Upon examination there wasn't much to be seen other than something that looked like a teeny pimple. I pierced the top with a sterile needle and nothing happened. Owing to the position of the 'pimple' I had to grab my flesh to bring it to a better viewing position.. well.. as I did that the pressure I applied caused a jet of pus to spew three feet across the room. In an arc! I've never seen the like. After evacuating the pimple I took a hot bath and tried again. Lo and behold it happened again to a lesser extent.
That was it. The best half hour of my life. I've never had anything like it since.
Over to you. .

[Animum2]

I know this thread is old but I've had a few bad boils in the past

1st one was on my upper wrist right on the joint, I kept squeezing and massive amounts of pus came out but it got so infected it made my hand swell up and I had to have the whole thing landed and packed with wasting

Had another one on my knee and that was even worse, needed stitches after the hospital sliced the knee open to get to the infection

[Kolakubism]

Here's the link for Dr Sandra Lee's channel on YouTube, enjoy!
www.youtube.com/channel/UCgrsF4TYwmrV0QsXb8AoeHQ

[Kolakubism]

I had one on my bum once, I'd thought it was a spot for ages (literally over a year) and it would get more painful at times when I'd have to sit for long periods in the day. I'd have a squeeze at it on the odd occasion but nothing, then one day after a shower a little bit of white puss came out - like a really small whitehead. "Urgh.. is that all? After all this time?!" I thought. I was not to be disappointed... That day was a particularly boring sitting down day in the middle of summer so really hot too. By the time I got home from work it was bloody killing me, it had its own pulse. As soon as I got home I had another go at it and it literally exploded yellow-green bloody puss all over the mirror and the window behind it! Then it wouldn't stop bleeding. That didn't stop me having another go at it the next morning and getting some more out of it. It still refills every now and then and I get another (nowhere near the original explosion) bit of joy. It always comes out with a nice satisfying pop as well.

Has anyone ever seen Dr Sandra Lee on YouTube? Have a look, her channel is amazing. She's a dermatologist and she loves popping as well and posts really good quality vids of her patients. My personal favorites are dilated pores of Winer (massive blackheads), punch excisions and she had a patient called Mr Wilson who's nose blackheads are just the best!!

[TheImpracticalCat]

I am a veterinary nurse, we are all disgustingly obsessed with pus.
Cat abscesses tend to be huge, require lancing with a blade, and gush with greasy brownish goo mixed with blood.
Rabbit abscesses can sometimes be popped without lancing and produce thick white lumpy cottage cheese.
Sebaceous cysts in dogs are my favourite, whenever I find one on an anaesthetised dog I have to give it a good squeeze. They crunch beautifully and wriggle out a nice thick worm of grey paste. When we surgically remove a sebaceous cyst I like to cut it in half afterwards to see the cross-section of the sac full of crud.

I used to be squeamish about emptying dogs anal glands but if you ignore the smell they're basically just bum sporn, and the blocked ones do give a satisfying pop when they go. I think the only gross thing I will never find joy in is flystrike - picking out maggots never stops being disgusting.

I don't think I could attack another human's spots though... anything that comes out of a human makes me gag...

[ChocolateBreakfastBalls]

My DS is disgusting and managed to get an infected thumb nail once when he was 6. Took him to the GP and he had very hefty antibiotics prescribed and we had to go back 48 hours later to see if it needed lancing. Was assured it didn't and we should just leave it. Well, we did. Until the next day when he was distraught with the pain and ibuprofen/paracetamol weren't touching it, so I sterilised a needle and stabbed it. It was glorious and it refilled daily. I had to get at it twice a day for a nearly a week. Eventually his entire nail just dropped off, it was disgusting.

He's fine now

[enviro300]

Glad this is still going.
My DP waxes my fanjo for me, and does a good job.
Few months back, about a week after a thorough waxing, we were being " intimate " and afterwards I felt a sore patch above my bikini line. Gave it a prod and CRACK! A big wad of sticky pus shot out onto my finger! Gave it another squeeze and got a big flow of yellow pus followed by some nice clean blood and immense relief I am waiting patiently for the next one....

[CheeseandPickledOnion]

I also had peritonsillar abscess (aka quinsy). Antibiotics weren't working and it exploded 3 times spontaneously - hence much puking up the vile pus.

In the end it refilled and didn't explode. I had to sit in a chair while a doctor attacked it with a scalpel.

[TedAndLola]

Woke up with a lump on my labia, very excited about it coming to a head

[TedAndLola]

My favourite real life sporn moment was when my cat had an abscess on his head. He'd been bitten by another cat earlier that day and I was watching the wound closely to see if he needed to go to the vet, but it seem to have healed over already. Being a picker, I peeled the scab off and the most foul smelling yellow pus oozed out... it was such a glorious moment.

I took him to the vet of course but was given permission to keep opening it and squeezing. Heaven.

I've never had something quite as brilliant as that and MrTed only lets me poke at him if he's in a really good mood. Thanks to this thread, I know what to ask for for our upcoming anniversary though...

[littleostrich]

When I was about 16 I was dipping my feet in the sea in Portugal when a huge wave hit me and knocked me off my feet. I landed on a sea urchin and loads of the spines got stuck in my skin - mainly my foot, which my Mum gleefully pulled out with tweezers back at the hotel.

A few years later I noticed a small lump under the skin of my thigh, with a slightly black head. I started picking at it but didn't really get anywhere, so I just put on some antiseptic cream and a plaster and left it for a day or two.

Obviously the cream drew all the pus to the surface, so when I peeled off the plaster a couple of days later it was glorious. I thought it was just a spot or an ingrown hair, but one small squeeze and out came the impressively large spine of a sea urchin which had secretly been trapped in my leg for years. Along with an explosion of pus. So satisfying.

[ScorpioMermaid]

I had a massive spot on my butt cheek last week. kept poking it but nothing would come. 33 weeks pregnant aswell so not easy. got to the point I couldn't sit down. It was red, hot and angry. I begged DH to have a go at it. he got my trusty tweezers and pulled at what looked like a hair or something and it exploded. Green/red slime, as he called it, running down my butt cheek and leg. I was so annoyed that I couldn't see it he gave me the tissues to inspect though.

At least I can sit down now again.

[ScorpioMermaid]

I have an addiction to squeezing, dont like to be squeezed myself though, that's my job. DH has accepted that I MUST squeeze everything spot like or ingown that appears on his body.

he had been having a pain around where his tail bone is so asked me to investigate. I get my best clean digging tweezers out and set to work. I found 2 pin hole type things at the top of his, for want of a better word, bum crack. one was a little cheesy with hair stuck inside it and the other.. well..
I squeezed and loads of hair shot out like a bullet, it made me jump, followed by a load and I mean load of green/blood streaked/thick/stinky pus. It was oozing and oozing. I went through at least half a packet of baby wipes and a box of tissues. It was great. When it stopped I bathed it for him and left it a few days as it was sore to let more pus pool and it did it again. it's been a while now but he gets me to check it every now and again for hair. turns out it's a pilonidal (sp?) cyst. his uncle was hospitalised with one that required surgery (google nearly made me barf) but I did such a good job on DH he's not even been to the Dr's about it!

[Mrsderekshepard]

Love reading these, anymore to add?

[Weasel113]

I am a man aged 59. At the age of 10 I had a boil on the inside of my knee and it got bigger and bigger over a 3 week period. I could not touch it, or anywhere else on that leg from the calf muscle to the top of my thigh because of the pain. My leg was half as big again as the other one. There was talk of having to go to hospital to have it lanced.

During the world cup final in 1966 it burst......holy moly it burst. The pain had stopped a few hours before. After the initial volcano of puss that lasted around 15 minutes I was still leaking throughout the game. It was like slow moving lava. If I changed position more puss would come out. If I bent my knee even more stuff would flow down my leg. Think blackcurrant Eton mess for consistency and colour. God the smell.

Said boil died over the next 2 days and my affected leg was for a while thinner than my good one.

We were tough in those days.

[tiredvommachine]

Love this thread!

[Thatwanoverthere]

I registered so I could share.

When I was 19 I spent a summer in Barcelona. Before I left, I decided to immac my bikini line to avoid the inevitable spider legs.
I wasn't ver au fait with lady garden topiary at the time, so when a spot appeared at the top of my leg, I was intrigued but didn't immediately know what it was. I was informed it was probably an ingrown hair and the idea of a hair lurking caught my interest. I squeezed, attacked with tweezers but nothing did. It grew bigger and bigger. Back at home, I kept tweezers by the loo and attacked every few days.
I eventually I gave up. The spot was now a lump, but I supposed it would never appear.
After a shower, I was doing my now customary investigation when I saw a hair. I grabbed the tweezers and pulled. And pulled. And pulled. It was coiled around so when it was stretched out it was about four inches in length. Lots of lovely pus accompanied it.
I sometimes think about that ingrown hair.

[LosingNemo]

This was on buzzfeed today, thought people might enjoy it. I'm not sure I believe all of them are real, one looks like a tube of primula being squeezed... www.buzzfeed.com/nicholaswray/zit-pop

[Jessicalovessunshine]

Oh my god, I love this thread. I am a spooner. My family think it is hilarious. I have had a couple of awful cysts in my groin area (one last week) I noticed there was a dark area on my left groin, but didn't think too much of it, a few weeks later i knocked it with my hand and noticed there was a HUGE lump (bigger than a 50p!) I was able to pull the skin 'upwards' and i squeezed... thick yellow/brown pus shot out, in an arc, all over my white drawers.

The other time i had more of a battalions (spelling?) cyst, which appeared as i flew to Brisbane. It got more and more uncomfortable to sit down. Imagine my happiness when my cheap hotel had a moveable mirror which had a magnified side. I was able to have a hot bath and then angle the mirror perfectly. loads of puss shot out and then a big hard thick piece of puss.

My husband will also let me check him out for spots AND my sister gets a monstrous ear spot every 6-10 months. I love squeezing!

[Alchemist]

DP had never encountered the joy of the blackhead strips.

He now asks "Is it time yet?" :).

[FluffyTheEvilOne]

My best one was in the loos at work; I'd had a lump on my cheek for a few weeks, that never came to a head. One day it was a little red so I thought I'd give it a quick go, and oh my god the pressure behind it was like nothing I'd had before or since. The first squeeze sprayed yellow goop all over the mirror, and it was a good few squeezes, all of which hit the mirror, before I got it all. Thankfully nobody walked in, either during the operation or subsequent clean up of the mirror, or I'd have never lived it down.

I'm a very selfish sporner though; I don't like dealing with other people's for some reason.

[Cruickshanks]

i was so greasy the strips had no purchase :(

[lithewire]

I assume everyone here has tried those blackhead removing strips that you put on your nose? Peeling it off is so satisfying