How excited do you get when you see KLAXON? Sometimes you get a few in a week.. sometimes there is a drought! So in order to keep us sporners truly satisfied can we do our ultimate ultimate sporn stories? I've just shared my blackhead story on another thread (TAAT guilt) but this is my best..if it looks familiar its because I have posted it under a different name.
Many years ago I became aware of a very sharp pain on my left side. Between the hip and the buttock. Upon examination there wasn't much to be seen other than something that looked like a teeny pimple. I pierced the top with a sterile needle and nothing happened. Owing to the position of the 'pimple' I had to grab my flesh to bring it to a better viewing position.. well.. as I did that the pressure I applied caused a jet of pus to spew three feet across the room. In an arc! I've never seen the like. After evacuating the pimple I took a hot bath and tried again. Lo and behold it happened again to a lesser extent.
That was it. The best half hour of my life. I've never had anything like it since.
Over to you. .
Mumsnet classics
What's your best sporn story?
Ouchbloodyouch · 10/02/2015 23:34
Oh! Remembered a massive abcess on the gum above my top front tooth. The anti-bios were working slowly and it would grow and be more and more painful, the only relief I could get was from a squeeze and a scalpel blade. Happy days!
The only thing I miss about my ex was his massive ongoing deep rooted blackhead in his ear. It was fantastic 
Mine are;
- My TB jab got bigger and bigger and after about 18 months and visits to the GP. One evening I pulled my arm around to look at the fecker in the mirror and it split open and acres of green pus oozed out. The hole was the size of a 50 p and about 1 cm deep.
- Grandma's ear spot. Oh Lordy! it still dream about this. Granny was a sporner, bless here and she asked me to look at a spot in her ear. It was a blackhead and it was huge. The first bit that came out was a huge hard black bit which I had to practically dig out with tweezer, the second layer was a hard white pusy one and the third was soft cream cheese pus. Oh it was marvellous and I made Granny so happy. Win win
- Dsis has a lovely little sebaceous cyst that fills up every six months or so. Sometimes it pops explosively and sometimes it goes hard and I have to tweezer it out.
What a lovely thread.
rootypig, you wondered if I was shagging my boss? Plus ca change ( sortov translation-=somethings never change?)....all these years later that's the precise reaction I'd anticipated at the time, and I'm still not wrong
Oh just remembered my teenage sisters whitlow that spread to whole tip of her thumb. It was so bad she couldnt bend her thumb. I told her to lance it. So I got her a sterile needle and a bowl of salt water. The gunk that came out of it. Little cow wouldnt let me do it 
Worst bit is, there was still more gunk, she told me she stuck a pin into various points on her thumb even in the pad of her finger and squeeze and all the holes oozed with pus. Gutted I werent there.
She also had a Meibomian cyst, apparently the gunk was so thick it was like oil, they had to cut out the cyst.
mamalazarou what do you use to syringe your ears,please? And then, is there some special mirror to use to look in them? (over-invested in looking into my own ear, me.Obv.)
Iv just had one last squeeze of infamous fanjo spot and there was a definite internal 'pop' felt. But alas no more pus
I reread the verucca story a few times!
Being a sporner can be bad, I actively look for suspicious lumps and bumps to squeeze and have left scars over myself
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