Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

What's your best sporn story?

337 replies

Ouchbloodyouch · 10/02/2015 23:34

How excited do you get when you see KLAXON? Sometimes you get a few in a week.. sometimes there is a drought! So in order to keep us sporners truly satisfied can we do our ultimate ultimate sporn stories? I've just shared my blackhead story on another thread (TAAT guilt) but this is my best..if it looks familiar its because I have posted it under a different name.
Many years ago I became aware of a very sharp pain on my left side. Between the hip and the buttock. Upon examination there wasn't much to be seen other than something that looked like a teeny pimple. I pierced the top with a sterile needle and nothing happened. Owing to the position of the 'pimple' I had to grab my flesh to bring it to a better viewing position.. well.. as I did that the pressure I applied caused a jet of pus to spew three feet across the room. In an arc! I've never seen the like. After evacuating the pimple I took a hot bath and tried again. Lo and behold it happened again to a lesser extent.
That was it. The best half hour of my life. I've never had anything like it since.
Over to you. .

OP posts:
ilikepie · 12/02/2015 07:09

place marking here. you lovely sporny people.

JollyFrog · 12/02/2015 07:19

Ahem
?Awaits £50 for dodgy fanjo shot?

FrankelandFilly · 12/02/2015 07:32

Ok, I'll post a picture of you're really sure you want to see it.....?

Be warned, it's not really breakfast-time viewing!

elQuintoConyo · 12/02/2015 07:39

Yes please, Frankel

goodasitgets · 12/02/2015 07:42

Abscess in arm pit. Ended up in surgical triage where they said it was sore, infected and not ready to lance. Got home and it hurt so much I thought bollocks to this and stuck a needle in it
I'm a fan of stuff like that but ugh, the smell, I was heaving over the sink as it streamed out Grin
Currently have an inner thigh lump...

thoidythoidnthoid · 12/02/2015 07:46

m.youtube.com/watch?v=3HceA18N4Ww

This isn't me or anyone I know, but this immediately came to mind. You're welcome. Smile

cedricsneer · 12/02/2015 07:52

Are we mostly in to specialist sporn? Cysts or anything too medical don't do it for me. Catthiefkeith's ingrown hair story is my favourite. I'm a sucker for ingrown hairs that recoil when removed and turn out to be about 3 feet long; and also blackheads with a hard black sebum plug.

I stood on a thorn once. Walking was becoming increasingly painful so I asked dh to investigate. He half heartedly jabbed around, told me he had removed the thorn and left it. Several days later when it was still painful to walk I got a mirror down to the sole of my foot. Saw a shadow under a scab, scratched the top with a needle and pus arced from the foot followed by the impacted thorn. It must have flown 3 metres.

I can vividly remember 3 spots that crunched after a lot of priming from a finger - one in English at school, one at the British museum whilst talking to a curator and one on safari in Kenya.

Seminal moments I tell you. I can remember everything so vividly from the sound, the smell, the sensation.

cedricsneer · 12/02/2015 07:54

Also dh has a refilling spot on his lip. We call it the raspberry cone. You can guess why.

FourAndDone · 12/02/2015 07:56

My most favourite thread!
How do you syringe your own ears? I want to do my entire household!Grin

FrankelandFilly · 12/02/2015 08:01

Here you go, my foot gives some idea of scale.

FrankelandFilly · 12/02/2015 08:01

Do I win?

PlumpingUpPartridge · 12/02/2015 08:04

My first proper sporning experience:

I had an old nose piercing which I allowed to seal over, and it swelled up one day. I gave it an experimental prod in the M&S changing room and it went BOOM! all over the mirror. I've never been so surprised.

Hooked since then!

Pimpleminds · 12/02/2015 08:10

Ye gods Frank

Fugghetaboutit · 12/02/2015 08:11

Oh my god!!!

MamaLazarou · 12/02/2015 08:20

RumbelowSale - it's the Earol +. Aculife Earwax Removal Syringe Kit from Amazon. No mirror, I'm afraid.

HellKitty · 12/02/2015 08:28

Gah!!! Can't see photos on the app Confused

A girl in my old school had a face full of green dried pus filled spots. She refused to squeeze any of them. Weirdo.

CatThiefKeith · 12/02/2015 08:50

ShockShockShock
Frankie that's amazing!

DandyMott · 12/02/2015 08:55

I feel like I'm at home on this thread!

I squeezed a verruca out once. It was like a huge stern blackhead and took lots of patience to get it all out.

I felt and heard the crunch with a boob spot recently it was good!

Ouchbloodyouch · 12/02/2015 09:00

Jolly I've put the fanjo shot on fanjosrus.com I've made thousands!

OP posts:
Ouchbloodyouch · 12/02/2015 09:01

Frank Envy thats a vom face. I thought I was hardcore

OP posts:
sashh · 12/02/2015 09:03

I think I may have to set up a dating site for sporners and greasers. I bet some of you would pay me to set you up with someone with a greasy back full of zits.

My first true sporn - I had a zit and for some reason in the middle of the night I was bitten/stung by a mossie or something, it ended up in a fabulous pus filled swelling in my eyebrow.

I wasn't even squeezing, just examining in a mirror and it popped and hit the said mirror - fabulous.

FrankelandFilly · 12/02/2015 09:04

I did warn you! The Dr I showed it to at A&E raised an eyebrow and said it was "impressive".

sashh · 12/02/2015 09:06

Oh I forgot my Ganglion cyst.

I asked my Dr to drain it, he refused because, 'it will only come back', if it's causing you pain I can send you for an op but if it isn't then it's purely cosmetic'.

So I threatened to do it myself.

He supplied me with syringes, swabs and instructions.

Unfortunately it hasn't come back.

SheWhoDaresGins · 12/02/2015 09:09

Frankle that is impressive!

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 12/02/2015 09:09

Frank, I have to know, what is it?