How excited do you get when you see KLAXON? Sometimes you get a few in a week.. sometimes there is a drought! So in order to keep us sporners truly satisfied can we do our ultimate ultimate sporn stories? I've just shared my blackhead story on another thread (TAAT guilt) but this is my best..if it looks familiar its because I have posted it under a different name.
Many years ago I became aware of a very sharp pain on my left side. Between the hip and the buttock. Upon examination there wasn't much to be seen other than something that looked like a teeny pimple. I pierced the top with a sterile needle and nothing happened. Owing to the position of the 'pimple' I had to grab my flesh to bring it to a better viewing position.. well.. as I did that the pressure I applied caused a jet of pus to spew three feet across the room. In an arc! I've never seen the like. After evacuating the pimple I took a hot bath and tried again. Lo and behold it happened again to a lesser extent.
That was it. The best half hour of my life. I've never had anything like it since.
Over to you. .
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What's your best sporn story?
Ouchbloodyouch · 10/02/2015 23:34
I had an enormous blister on my heel as a teen, I lanced it with a sterilised needle and an arc of water shot across the room and hit my df. It went about 3ft. 
Speaking of df, he complained about a lump behind his ear, and when I looked it was a massive blackhead. So big that as I loosened it I had to ask for tweezers and managed to pull the while thing out whole. It was a centimetre long, must have been there years.
Still not as satisfying as my recent Verruca removal though. It's on here somewhere, with pictures. 
Oh! How could I forget this one?
Ex had a refilling hole, it looked like a smallish blackhead on his cheek, but every time I gave it a good squeeze a thin white wiggle would come out, and I could still see something black, deep down inside.
After about a year of me squeezing it every couple of months someone punched him in the pub one night (publican) and a few days later I noticed his cheek had refilled.
I gave it a squeeze, and an enormous fat white wiggle of hardened pus came out, followed by what looked just like the nib of a pencil.
When I investigated it properly it was a tightly curled hair, and was about 2 inches long.
That was a great find.
ouchbloodyouch
I bring bad news, the fanjo spot is bringing forth no more pus
Having left it a few days after the lovely crunchy explosion, I've had a rummage around but it's disappointingly shrunk
I shall probably have to wait years for another one that good 
When DH and i were very newly dating we were stood together waiting for a taxi one night and i had my hand up his t shirt stroking his (rather lovely) back. About half way up.
My highly attuned finger tips suddenly felt a bump. A second gentle feel confirmed some kind of spot. I squeezed. He yelped and pulled away a bit. I said something soothing and then quickly jammed my fingernails under the bump (like you do) and pulled quite hard ...
JOY! i felt something give way, slide out and come away in my nail grip. I looked at it in the dim light and, readers, it was a rock hard egg shaped lump, about the size of the whole tip of my little finger I swear it was that big! I couldn't believe my luck eyes!
And then i noticed the big blood stain appearing on his t shirt 
Poor man. But it was great 
It never came back sadly. It must have been growing in there for years!
My earliest sporn memory was about the age of 8. I was sitting on the loo and noticed two strange lumps on my inner thigh. I poked at them, then squeezed, then squeezed some more and eventually solid white lumps popped out of them, leaving small bleeding craters . I still have no idea what they were, and I've never had anything else like them. They left chicken-pox style scars.
Bloke I once knew had a bum you'd all envy
. Big bloke, fat, big spready-outy fat bum absolutely full of blackheads/refilling pimples which, if not drained, made sitting down for him really painful. Now, I'm a kind soul, and I don't like for people to suffer butin this case I didn't mind seeing it at all so after he'd told me about his 'problem' I offered to take a look. How could I resist?
Bloody fabulous variety of pimples, blackheads, and, my very fave ones, those horizontal sebum tubes which have their exit points about 5cm away from where the sebum lump starts? You sort of push it along the line until it's all clear...pause for reflection...sigh.. And remember I told you he'd got a very fat bum? Very fat bum= very many blackheads, all determined to reappear. . the smell was a downer tho, had to wear a face mask!
This bloke was my Boss, btw, and the job was a Dream Job - buying and selling yachts for chArter in the Med. Never ever before told anyone that the bonus wasn't the lifestyle or the salary or knowing the 'in' places to shop in exclusive places - no! It was this man's Spotty Botty
Your boss Rumbelow?! good lord. Were you shagging him? or just sporning his bum
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