HOT TITS!!

[wantacatplease]

...is something my 18 month old daughter has started exclaiming, quite loudly and gaily when we're out and about.

No idea what she's trying to say!

Yesterday DD (aged 2) was saying what sounded like "I want a piss". Except I doubt it was that. She was most annoyed that I couldn't understand her!

DD would say "dick less" instead of ridiculous when aged around 3.
"That's just dick less" she would say in a very exasperated voice if she wasn't happy about something or other.

When DD1 was I think 18 months, we went with granma (never nana) to a church service. It was quite a formal affair with a lot of standing up, then sitting, standing again etc etc. Everytime we stood, DD would loudly instruct 'shit nana, SHIT' (for 'sit grandma sit). Twas a memorable service.

My two year old American grandaughter couldn't say' flag'. On the Fourth of July she spent a couple of happy hours watching the Grand Parade , pointing out to anyone nearby and shouting ''Fck, fck ,f*ck..'' at the top of her voice...

Sainsburys car-park during parking

DS1: mind that bollock
Me: pardon
DS1: mind that bollock
Me: pardon
DS1: MIND THAT BOLLOCK!
Me: oh (finally dawning), you mean bollard

you can often hear the following exclamations in the reallywittyhousehold:

'orseshit! (sausage)
Fucky! Fucky! FUUUUCKY! (she has a soft toy handpuppet fox, which we stupidly named "Foxy")

Chocolate was interesting for a while. It came out as cock-cock.

"One car" was what he was trying to say. Sounded very different. Also the "Twigs" character from Tree Fu Tom was "Tits" for a very long time, which was very, very embarrassing.

My DS (aged 2) also used to have a problem with saying Fat Controller from Thomas, and called him "fucker" for a while.

When DS2 was quite young, one of his favourite films was 'The Italian Job', which he called 'the Celebration film'; his version of '...the self-preservation society...'

And his favourite line from the film?

Of course it was!

"You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!", made even more irresistible by mummy not liking him saying it.

To start with his pronunciation wasn't great, and only we knew what he was saying. But it didn't take long...

I remember DS2 (aged about 2), in the school run car, calmly announcing he felt 'shit.'
Took several goes before I translated it to 'sick.'

Took my nearly two year old into the chip shop over a month ago, and it clearly made an impression because he still talks about the "Nip shop" even though he can say chips.

When just learning to talk my ds would loudly shout what sounded like 'f*k off, f*k off' loudly in Tesco whenever he saw a trolley-he meant 'fast car'! And until he was about 3 he always said 'manga' for banana-no idea why.

How does a toddler pronounce 'Mumsnet Classics'?

My boy always used to shout "twat!" When he was about two. Never worked out what he was saying. Ds2 spent Easter shouting shit whenever we went in shops. He wanted an Easter chick!

I made Classics???

This has really made me laugh and cheered up my crappy Friday afternoon.
Not surprised it made classics - great thread OP!

Off the top of my head:
the racist P word for basket (nearly died when he said that!)
Fuck for fork
twatter for hammer

But he did say For fuck's sake once when he dropped something. I blame DP - managed to change it to for god's sake.

When DP said Oh Ffffffffff (to stop the word coming out) DS kindly finished the word for him. We've now changed that one to fiddlesticks.

DD (20 months) pronounces apricot as 'baby cock'

Even worse, the first time she said this we were staying at a B&B and were in the breakfast room.

She was eating a yoghurt and loudly saying "mmm, baby cock"

We used to get black cunt for black currant, and dick-less for ridiculous.

The worst was DD2, for a while she struggled to say grandad and to the casual listener it sounded like "bastard". We'd go round town or something with her pointing out elderly man going "that man's a bastard isn't he mummy?" "Do you think he's a bastard mummy?"

My DS always called his blanket his black git .....

DD used to ask for black-cunt juice, she also used to ask for salt-an-igger cisps.

We basically had a racist 2yo. So it became purple juice and blue crisps quickly

Also at my 90 yo grans house, playing with her walking stick shouting "DICK DICK DICK OOK GAN GAN DICK DICK DICK" as she used it to walk around the room.

In the park "Daddy has a big dick, I has a little dick, mummy do you like a big dick or a little dick?"

Eyebows - eyebrows
Mote montrol - remote control

I miss that stage!

My 17mo has taken a fondness to saying "bookabookabookabooka" it obviously sounds like bugger.

My friends son came to us (he was 2 1/2 & told us he wanted his dumb fuck! We eventually worked out, through the tears of laughter, it was dump truck!!

We went to Disneyland Paris this week and my daughter who LOVED the Startours spaceship ride kept loudly shouting to go on the 'Spaceshit' over and over....

According to my mother at the age of 10 I told an estate agent the house we were viewing had nice 'dildo' rails as opposed to dado.