HOT TITS!!

[wantacatplease]

...is something my 18 month old daughter has started exclaiming, quite loudly and gaily when we're out and about.

No idea what she's trying to say!

DS couldn't say the S on the end of words, mainly words that have KS as the last two sounds, for ages (he's not too bad now). Meaning he only ever had one sock, six was pronounced "sick" and shouting FOX across the library after seeing one in a book... well yes.

We got a fridge delivered and my daughter (about 15 months) pointed to the delivery drivers and shouted 'Dick! Dick!'. No idea what that was meant to be, she already said 'fidz' for fridge...

DS, on 5th November, always asked for his indervenders. (Ear defenders)

Also, he hated shopping for his sister's forniyoom. (Uniform)

DD said to my visiting sister who was sniffling a bit, "Come on Aunty we'll both do smoking". Cue my sister giving me a quizzical look, and I had to explain she meant steam inhalation over an electric steamer!

DS2 came up to me, aged 3 or so, and announced "Wuh is for Wino!" I was rather taken aback until I remembered he couldn't pronounce Rrr sounds.

We still refer to the beach BBQ on holiday as the Bargapoo in honour of DD (then 2.5). So much so that this year I struggled to call it a BBQ when talking to a member of staff.

My DD used to love apple juice and she eventually wanted "Apple drink"...but somehow after a few days, she inexplicably converted this to "applewank". She would go up to relatives and call this out whilst waving her sippy cup in anticipation.

As part of DS's swimming lessons they had to do a torpedo, which was pushing off the side of the swimming pool with his legs. He always seemed to cut the first sound off words, so he would scream "pedo", "pedo" in the middle of the swimming pool

Fragrant Fish Tagine became Favourite Mish Machine.

He's 5 :-)

DD when 3 years old spent a few weeks pretending to be a "mad man in a lavatory". Took us months to realise she was pretending to be a mad scientist in a laboratory.

Another cock one I'm afraid. DS always referred to DH's watch as "Daddy's cock". Imagine the faces in a lift when DS points to another lift user's watch and says "oh look, that man have a cock too! My daddy has a big cock. It's biggerer than that man's."

DD says "fuck" for "fork".

Not quite the same but my 3yo dd has been quite instant this morning that the song goes 'I wanna move my dagger I wanna move my dagger I wanna moo oo oo oo oo oo oo ove my dagger'

DD1 couldn't make a 'c' sound, came out as a 't'. Therefore ducks went "twat twat". Amusing until she was teaching DD2 that ducks said "twatty twat twat".

DS is 13 now but he had some cute mispronunciations that I really miss.

Lollipop was lollyhopop, Fingers were finkins, restaurant was restronaut and less cute Porcupine became spikeyporn. I so miss having a toddler though.

My DD2 must have been about 3 years old when I first called her my 'little freckle-face'.

Sometime later, we were in the supermarket (why is it always the supermarket) and DD2 was sat in the trolley. She put her little hands on my cheeks and looked intensely into my eyes.

She then sat back and loudly pronounced that "You've got a fuck-all face Mummy".

Popcorn was porn-corn in our house.

Fast forward a couple years and DD2 gets out of bed and goes downstairs in the morning without waking us (yay). I came downstairs to find her watching MTV. "What are you watching?" Mummy asks. Without missing a heartbeat DD2 replies "Oh it's Pissy".

This reveals the problem with teaching children to read phonetically. Turns out Pissy is PSY but if you sound it out its P - S - EE!! I still can't hear Gangnam Style without thinking of Pissy.

Oh and there was the time in the car when DD2 was about 3 piped up in a very matter of fact voice and very clearly enunciated, "Mummy, there's a fucking fly in the car". But that may have been my fault ...

Dd always said 'wanker' instead of 'blanket'

Many faces in primark John Lewis when she dropped her blanket at the feet of a passing woman, pointed at her and shouted (incredibly clearly!) 'WANKER!'

trixy that is hilarious!! And humiliating, of course.

These are all so brilliant.

My dd says "you wanker" instead of you're welcome, almost wish she was so polite.

Out at the supermarket with DSs this morning and DS1 shouted "Cock, Mama - COCK! COCK!!!" as we passed the clocks in the homeware section.

Eldest DS liked to shout rambunctious and would shout "man, man, rambunctious man" from his trolley as we shopped in Tesco. Still don't know where he picked the word up - heard it on the TV perhaps, not a word I use in everyday conversation. Given our local Tesco, lucky we didn't get lamped for our child shouting some unknown insult.

Another phrase, used when he was angry, was "weird and dump"; I was often told "you're weird you are, weird and dump" when fighting to get him into his clothes. It was applied to anything he wasn't sure of were "weird and dump". Never got to the bottom of this.

Oh yes, DS has "Snowing the dog" (from Tintin) and got quite excited about "Smoking the Bear" (it was his 70th anniversary so we looked at some vintage clips on YouTube), and kept shouting "Smoking! Watch smoking!"

Thank you for this thread. It has made my day.

When my daughter was very small we went to the Beatrix Potter exhibition in the Lake District. In the gift shop, she asked for "Vagina Puddleduck".

My nephew was the master of mispronunciation. Cucumber was "cock-cumber" and he played a Scooby Doo video game with ninjas in it, yelling "look at all the MINGES!!!"

Ah, I want this thread never to end, had to put the computer down to answer a call from my boss (home sick), in case I ended up laughing during our very. serious. conversation, or, y'know, inadvertently calling her a name....

My now 4 year old pointed excitedly at the ceiling of a lift in Ikea when she was about 20 months old "Shites, mummy, shites!" Lights, of course.

My 17 months old calls her daddy "Tit" or "Twat". I think she is just saying it or that, but I choose to believe she's made a judgement already.....

Oh yes, and there was the car colour spotting "red car", "blue car" and "wan car" (white car).

And the time OH didn't think about what he was saying when a noisy speeding motorbike passed him and our then 2 year old eldest. "Daddy, what's that?" "A fud." Took a while to re-educate 'fud' to 'motorbike'.

And the poorly parked car.... "Bloody cars", errrrr, no, daddy said "Muddy car"!

I love the learning to talk phase!

My daughter likes to point out every lone vehicle... "Wanker! Wanker!"