ridiculous topics for marital rows

[whendotheyleavehome]

OK, so I caught myself getting cross at hubby when on family holiday for having fruit and fibre for breakfast as he was 'obviously' trying to engineer more 'me time' on the loo away from the kids.

Please, please tell me I'm not the only one to have picked THE most ludicrous fight? Other examples please....or am I a lone witch?...

We often have rows over Uncle Ben's Rice, which he refuses to admit is equivalent in every way to EASY COOK RICE (own brand from every supermarket) This dates back to the fact that in 70's Germany Uncle Ben's was what his mother used. I buy easy cook and then he goes out to buy Uncle Ben's defiantly...Come to think of it all I need to do, is keep the empty cardboard boxes and decant easy cook into them and he would never know.

Devious, swanhilda - in a good way, of course!

DH and I had sharp words about the way he was reloading the shopping trolley last week after the stuff had gone through the till. I put some things back in the trolley and he moved them all. I maintain that I was doing it as we have always done it (and of course I am right) and he thought it was all wrong.

We were't very ranty but I ended up letting DH get away with it as I felt sorry for the lady behind the till. We exchanged and eye roll and I remained tight lipped until we got home.

Once had a screaming, door slamming argument over soap actors being overpaid.

Another one about the strength of a tornado that ended with shouting and a long silent car journey home after a weekend away.

disgrace, surely not, must be closer to 6a (or 7a french grading).

We live in Newark, and I once dared to question the existence of Robin Hood. Never. Again.

I think Sky + has overtaken IKEA in our house. DH asks what shall we watch tonight? Before I can reply he says I will show you what I have recorded. Despite the fact we both know it off by heart as he does this EVERY night. So he goes through the list' only two of which were my choices. I choose one of those, then he says why don't you want to watch X I recorded it especially. And so on and so. Now the nights are lighter I can get up and take dog round the block instead of trying not to strangle DH.

Jacket potatoes. I kid you not. DH used to half half a day on Fridays so I asked if he wouldn't mind putting on the dinner. He forgot and we had a huge row.

We'd not been married long and I was trying very hard not to be taken for granted .

I was making curry once (mild as DH doesn't like anything too spicy) and DH absent-mindedly wandered into the kitchen, messed around by the sink for a while, took the lid off the saucepan and poured a jug of water onto the curry. I saw red. He claims that he always adds water to curry so it isn't too spicy and there was nothing wrong with what he did.

Another time I was exhausted after work and the evening with our toddlers who were being very hard work. I'd decided to stay up a bit later than usual to get some housework done as if was mounting up and had just mopped the floors. DH opened the back door and let our two huge dogs in along with their combined eight paws to walk all over said wet floor. I was so angry I couldn't speak and this has become known as the night I stamped my feet at him. He was baffled because "it wasn't raining so the dogs' paws were clean".

Actually, I still don't think either of these arguments are stupid. DH is lucky we are still married.

Swanhildapirouetting I downgraded from Tilda basmati to Sainsbury's own using the decanting trick ages ago. DH hasn't noticed the difference in taste or the fact that the Tilda bag is looking a bit scruffy.

I'm wondering whether I can get away with a further downgrade to Sainsbury's Basics.

We argue all the time about maths. I realise how stupid this sounds as I type it. Mostly because I believe in BIDMAS rules and he insists on using brackets. I'm actually ashamed to acknowledge this publicly lmao

Sunday morning after a Saturday night out:
Me: Id like to just do something together today rather than go to the pub again to meet everyone.
XP: nah, we I think we ought to go meet the guys in the pub, DON'T YOU?
Everything he said used to end with 'don't you?' If I agreed with it in the first place why did I say I didn't want to!

I bought a brown belt from next. One day went to find the belt to wear and couldn't find it anywhere. Went downstairs to find XP wearing a brown Next belt. He insisted it was his, raging row ensued ending up with a phonecall to next to try to establish who was right, they couldn't help. He took the belt when he left, I still maintain he's wearing a women's belt.

My mum did the same thing with my dad. She used to pick the reduced stickers off things because if he saw them he'd eat the thing - because she was a good cook and he was a greedyguts - and then claim that he'd had food poisoning.

The reality was that he'd eaten too much of her lovely food and his stomach had said: 'No more! Abort mission! Evacuate!'.

She used to tell me about a massive row they'd had in the Fifties over bloaters. After he'd eaten them and said how nice they were, she mentioned that she'd got them for a really good price. He instantly started clutching his stomach. He survived until 1990 but he still used to mention it on and off and they'd row about it.

Luckily he died - not of food poisoning - before the advent of really persistent sticker glue. It's impossible to peel off all evidence these days.

I don't really mean his death was lucky, it's just that I don't know what she would have done. But she was devious, so she would have worked it out

DP and I had a row last night over who was going to have the last tea-bag.

In the early days before I married DH I was lovingly cooking for him.

I separated the meat from the stock, from which I was going to make the gravy, and then went to the loo.

He's mad tidier-upper and threw it away.

When I asked where my saucepan of stock was, he shook a tub of gravy granules at me and said: 'I threw that dirty old water away.'

We did go on to marry, though you wouldn't have guessed it from that night.

I threw away his Argos catalogue once (about 15 years ago). Apparently that was unforgivable! Even he was shocked at how annoyed he was about it. We always laugh when we look back on it now.

His persistant use of "2mrrw" in place of "tomorrow" in emails. Not text messages (which would be bad enough) but fucking emails.

We had a blazing row over my objection to Tesco using the grammatically incorrect "Same luxury, less lorries" on their loo roll packaging. He just didn't appreciate why grammar matters, even in relation to loo roll advertising. Fortunately most of MN sided with me [smug emoticon].

VHS-TAPE-GATE

AT DHs request, we were in the attic trying to 'make space'.

Upon coming across TWO large suitcases full of VHS tapes about 2 years ago (so about 10 years since we had a VHS Player)

me: Yay - we can dump these and put all the ski stuff in these cases
him: You're not throwing those away
me: They're VHS tapes.
him: I've had them for years. Look I recorded Only Fools and Horses on these ones and this one is Raiders of the Lost Ark.
me: Mmmm yes. But Only Fools is on every channel every night. And they are VHS tapes
him: But Raiders is a classic. DS will enjoy that one day (DS was 2)
me: But we don't have a VHS player. We can get it on DVD or on demand or probably just by willing it by the time he is old enough to watch it.
him: But I recorded it.
me: BUT WE DON'T HAVE A VHS PLAYER ANY MORE.
him; But we could get one from a car boot sale
me: But we sold ours at a car boot sale 10 years ago.
him: They MEAN something. OK?
me; What do you mean they MEAN something? What do they mean?
him: Oh well I wouldn't expect YOU to understand, Miss 'throw it away just because it looks a bit messy'
me: What do the VHS tapes MEAN?
him: They mean, I've lived a life and gone to the trouble of recording things to keep and watch one day.
me: WE HAVEN'T GOT A FUCKING VHS PLAYER. YOU WSilence for ON'T EVEN WATCH ANYTHING THAT ISN'T HD OR BLUERAY AND THE TAPE HAS PROBABLY ROTTED ANYWAY.
him: (quietly) Selfsh selfish selfish
me: Hoardy Wanker

Didn't speak for the rest of the day. We still have the bastard tapes.

And many spoony fucker rows as well. Adding salt to pans of things i've carefully seasoned WITHOUT EVEN TASTING FIRST. I have rage just thinking about it.

Just place marking for later! This thread is hilarious!

DP and I had a massive row a few weeks ago over who was the best ... will.i.am or bruno mars! wtf, and I got so cross with him that I flounced off to bed!

His driving. I won't sit at the front with him any more because I don't want to see what he's doing or listen to his ranting about all of the idiots on the road. I sit in the back with the dog.
We have a black car with tinted windows. We often get people peering in to see what famous person I am, what with having a driver and everything.

DorothyBastard I would have two dishwashers in my ideal kitchen as well.

The whole point it that no one has to empty them. You take your plate and cup out of that day's "clean" dishwasher, use them and return them to the other dishwasher - that day's "dirty" one. When the dirty one is full you put it on and then it is becomes the "clean" one. Genius as far as I am concerned.

Not a row exactly but (and I have told this on here before) DH and I once had a tetchy discussion about what constitutes "half a twix" - half a packet (1 finger) or half a finger.

Kittens that is brilliant

Not so much a row but a bizarre conversation with then boyfriend.

Me : I'm going to cook dinner, do you want anything.
Him : I'm not hungry, I don't want anything to eat.
Me : I'll just cook for me then.
Him: why, won't you cook for me.
Me: you said you weren't hungry
Him : but you should cook for your boyfriend

I cooked for me, and he ate half of it.
I'm glad he's an ex.

DP strims the edge of the lawn, cutting down any stray flowers or shrubs in his path. Gardens front and back look like edge of a municipal car park. Not another plant in sight for 14 years. Many tears (and money) shed :(