Strangest complaint you've ever received

[bdbfan]

Following on from the thread about ridiculous tourist complaints, what's the strangest complaint you've ever received?

I'll start, I run a small cafe, a lady ordered a toasted sandwich then asked for a refund because it was toasted. She said she didn't realise it would be heated in a new fangled thing and wanted something from the 90's.

I still have absolutely no clue about what she was after.

Not me, but a colleague got a complaint because she was doing resuscitation training (for hospital staff, not the public) and she had said, "This is a laryngeal mask airway. It looks like a fanny on a stick." Someone complained about her being rude. I suppose she was being a bit rude, but it does indeed look like a fanny on a stick. commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:ProSeal_Laryngeal_Mask_Airway_inflated_001.jpg

Once worked in a pet shop and a customer came in with a dead bird which he bought 1 year previously. He complained that the bird died before it reached it's 'average' lifespan and wanted a refund.

That we didn't sell cath kidston stuff.

I work in Laura Ashley.....why would we sell cath kidston?!

Thisuser how long after he left before one of you started reciting the Dead Parrot Sketch?

Long time ago working in a cinema ... customer complained wanting a refund as the sex scenes in the romantic film he had just seen weren't shown in sufficient detail. It was a 12 certificate ...

For not telling someone in asda where the sugar was. She stormed off ranting that if I was going to impersonate an asda employee I should at least do the job
I was wearing ambulance uniform with a huge AMBULANCE and NHS logo

I imagine there are thousands of MNers now wanting to know if the bird was a Norwegian Blue, blockedyou

This isn't a work complaint but a neighbour a few doors down.

Our door numbers are very similar. Think 112 and 122. Occasionally the postman makes a mistake or someone makes a typo on an envelope and we get each others mail. Perhaps about three times in two years they had had something of ours and vice versa.

I used to walk down the road, only five doors down between the two numbers, and post their stuff through their letterbox.

The first time they got something of ours they came and knocked and gave it back. The second time they pushed it through the door. The third time they wrote a very angry note on the envelope asking us to please learn our own address and give it to people properly because they were sick of receiving our mail.

Was very strange. They really seemed to believe that we were deliberately giving out their address instead of ours, just for the fun of having them walk 30 seconds up the street to re-deliver it.

Customer in a pub I worked in took a dislike to us mopping the floor behind the bar after closing time. Customers get 20 minutes after last orders to drink up and leave and he complained that we shouldn't mop the floor until after that time was up.

We were told by our manager to wait until those 20 minutes were up, so we did. Unfortunately this didn't stop the man complaining, every night, despite the fact that we had no mop, no bucket, hadn't even put the water in the bucket ready to mop and the cleaning fluid was still in the cupboard. He was insistent that even though he couldn't see it, he could smell it and he knew what we were up to. I think he thought we were gas lighting him or something

So many from running pubs and hotels:

"My steak has been cooked on a dirty grill - look, it has got lines on it!"

"I can't see the lake from my room" (Shuffled everyone around, got him a lake view, 3am get a phone call complaining that the ducks keep quacking and are keeping him awake)

"I can't get to sleep, the moon is too bright and there is no traffic. It is far too quiet"

"My extra well done steak still isn't here - I ordered it 15 minutes ago"

"My (blue) steak is cold" (Yes, but it has been at the table 10 minutes and wasn't exactly piping hot to start with!)

Can't say I miss it tbh! :)

I worked in a seaside fish and chip shop as a teenager. At least once per shift a customer would demand a replacement as a seagull had eaten their chips.

Someone complained to me when I was buying doughnuts, apparently I wasn't setting a healthy eating example as I was wearing an ambulance uniform at the time. I did feel like saying if everyone was healthy I would be doing myself out of a job.

If I remember right it was a lovebird, he brought in the remaining live one and made a big scene about it not surviving without a mate. The refund hot refused and in a strop he let the live one fly off into the shop. We managed to catch it later on and rehomed it.
Never heard of the dead parrot sketch...

We also get no end of complaints at work because we won't accept foreign or forged money.

Christ what a wanker this poor bird. Better without him as the owner no doubt.

I used to work in a cinema,
a guy ordered done hot nuts & brought them back telling me they were stale.
told him the machines gets fresh ones everyday so not possible, we had 2 machines so gave him a new tub from the other machines.
again brought them back saying they were stale.
I told him he was wrong and ate one myself.

he then told me he knew they wernt fresh as they had been left so long they were warm...

HOT NUTS!

When I was pregnant a bitch woman I worked with put in a series of complaints against me including

I told my friend I was pregnant before I told her - this friend met me daily from my train and walked me to the office because I was fainting regularly.

I was skiving in the toilets regularly. This was after she found out I was upduffed and she didn't believe in morning sickness.

I was getting extra holidays. I worked from home on afternoons when I had midwives appointments because of how far I lived from the office.

I wouldn't move heavy file boxes when we moved the office around.

Each time hr made me attend a formal investigation meeting and for the boxes one they tried to give me a verbal warning. They were actually surprised when I told them I woildnt be returning

I've said this on here before but a long time ago worked in an Audi dealership. Customer came in one day with a Mercedes. He had an Audi as well but today he's out in his Mercedes and it's making a funny noise.

After it's been up in the workshop for about half an hour he starts complaining about how long it's taking. So I said well if it had been an Audi they'd probably have some idea of the problem.

He said 'you cheeky little bugger!'

I still don't know what he thought I meant.

is the Dead Parrot Sketch, Thisuserhasblockedyou

more cinema-

booked tickets, turned up late & missed the start. requested refund.

didn't like movie-requested refund

100 million people used to bring back salted popcorn as they didn't realise it was salty instead of sweet when we offer then a choice before serving.

the movie is too loud and could we turn it down?!

Angels I was on that customer's side till you said it was Thomas :)
Lol at the quacking ducks!
We stayed in a Centre Parcs log cabin type place last year. Someone left a bad review because it was too quiet and all you could hear was the wildlife. I think they needed a cabin near the karaoke.

Worked for a well known major supermarket on the customer service desk. One day, I was on my own and a customer, elderly chap, brought back a half chewed bit of something unidentified wrapped in clingfilm. It turned out to be a piece of meat from a chicken pie that was inedible apparently. After apologising profusely, I offered him either a refund or a replacement. This is where is went really weird. He told me he was a high functioning medium and would have to ask for some advice from the spirit world as to whether he should accept a replacement. He put his hands up to his head, went really quiet like he was concentrating on something and apparently started to converse with the spirit world. As you can imagine, I'm a bit by this point. Typical that nobody else is there to witness this either! Anyway, after his chat with the dead, he decides that yes he will have a replacement after all. Wtf? Had subsequent dealings with same customer - once he wrote an essay on the back of a bit of old cereal packet alleging that mercury was present in the product and it was facilitating communication with aliens or something equally strange. Needless to say, I didn't escalate that one!!

.

Had one woman complain that her single espresso was "literally half the size" of her husband's double espresso.

Another complained that her iced mocha was cold.

That reminds me, Spanish night, lady complained that her soup was cold. (Gazpacho, and yes, the menu description did say it was served chilled!)

I worked in a supermarket depot, which happened to have a competitor's store 300 yards away. The delivery vehicles used the same access road.

On a regular basis the Tossco depot would get complaints about Sodbury's vehicles and vice versa.

There was also the man who wanted an HGV driver sacked for sticking to the speed limit. He was a shareholder and his dividends were being reduced by "this ridiculous work to rule".

Somehow his name, address and registration were leaked to the fleet. I believe he has a never ending supply of groceries, especially eggs.