Strangest complaint you've ever received

[bdbfan]

Following on from the thread about ridiculous tourist complaints, what's the strangest complaint you've ever received?

I'll start, I run a small cafe, a lady ordered a toasted sandwich then asked for a refund because it was toasted. She said she didn't realise it would be heated in a new fangled thing and wanted something from the 90's.

I still have absolutely no clue about what she was after.

"All the time she was shouting and screaming the consultant stayed quiet until she finished, then said "I'm sorry, I can not accept this complaint as you keep aiming it at a "Dr" where as I am "Professor" . I am however medically trained to work on people of any class so let talk about your medical issues shall we?" "

Blockette that is fantastic... I lhope the consultant does a wee airpunch to themselves whenever they remember this!

My fave two were:

1. Working as a therapy assistant in a day centre. One staff member was absolutely bone idle. I needed to get a service user out of his wheelchair and said, 'While you're not busy could you just give me a hand?'. She reported me to my manager who took me into his office, told me about her complaint, smiled and said 'Well done. Keep up the good work'

1. Part of my job is to deliver training and at the end of each course participants fill out feedback forms. There have been some odd ones, but the best one was 'The facilitator is too young [I was 36, but thanks for the compliment!] Also I didn't like the sandwiches. Next time please send someone out to the chippy''. No comment about the quality of the training of course, naturally.

Pharmacy

Someone once complained about her prescription medications not being arranged nicely in the bag. She wanted every one of 25+ items the same way up etc etc etc....Long list of requirements.
Only just stopped myself from telling her that 'bag packing' was not included in my 5 yr degree as, luckily for her, we spent the time gaining knowledge in more pressing aspects of pharmaceutical care.
Felt like I should have done some work experience at the local supermarket.

Place marking these are brilliant!

One summer many, many moons ago I worked in the admin office of a kids camp in Massechussetts.

A parent called with some enquiry or another and insisted in her best loud voice that she 'COULD NOT UNDERSTAND me', and 'MUST TALK to someone who SPEAKS ENGLISH'.

I'm from Staffordshire

I worked a summer in a housing office during a summer vacation from Uni, and had to archive loads of old housing files, it was lonely work but so funny, I loved nosing through all the old complaint letters, there was one from the early sixties, and a lady had written in to complain about her neighbours dirty net curtains 'bringing the entire street into disrepute'

Someone complained that the creamy tomato soup was creamy. She just assumed it wouldn't be obviously creamy and she didn't like creamy stuff.

Someone also complained that the cheeseburger had real cheese in it not the fake cheese you normally got.

Somebody also seemed annoyed that we were busy with a fair few kids in. He wanted a peaceful cuppa which is fair enough I suppose until you take into account that we are inside a childrens centre

Look! Classics! I'm so proud of you al

All not al

I was a rep for a ski company for two seasons. A couple of stand-outs:

A lady fell and injured her leg on her first day skiing. She asked for a refund on her lift pass. I explained that I couldn't do that as they were bought from the lift pass office, she had to go to them. The office told her she had to claim on her insurance. Only, she didn't have any. A guy staying in the same chalet - who hadn't met her before the trip - SCREAMED in my face for any hour that I had to refund her, that we should have told her she needed insurance (she had opted out at booking!), that he was VERY IMPORTANT and in THE MEDIA and would get me and my team fired IMMEDIATELY. He didn't...

But my favourite was the man who wrote on his feedback form that the toilet seat was too cold in the mornings

My first thread in classics

Only read first 6 pages so far but ROAR at the phallic carrot and the HOT NUTS :o

Once had a customer come to the library counter to collect some books he had requested (which are actually in a public area so customers can pick them up themselves, but oh well). Colleague went to fetch them. They were the wrong books - I stepped in when I saw him getting arsey and realised by checking the system that they were for a different borrower with the same surname (huge library so loads of requested books), but the customer had already launched into a rant that as the books were about the Troubles in Ireland we were obviously out to get him and accusing him of terrorism?!

Incidentally I used that anecdote in a subsequent interview for a permanent position, they found it quite funny and I like to think it helped get me the job :o

I worked in a super-cheap, well known shoe chain when I was a teen. It was next door to a pub . Got a few from in there. These should be read in a broad west coast of Scotland accent.

Customer picks up pair of blue court shoes next to erm, beige ones. This is the abbreviated version...

Customer: Huv ye got these in beej?
PN: Yes, brings over beige shoe. Can I get you a size?
Customer: Naw, ah want the beej wans.
PN: These are the beige ones.
Customer: That's no a right beej. Ah want a right beej.
PN: Sorry, they are the only beige ones we've got.
Customer: Manager, manager (yells). This wee lassie's making a fool out of me. Tell her to get me some right shoes.
Manager: What's the problem? PN, can't you get the lady the other shoe?
PN: Erm...
Customer: Bugger this. C'mon hen (to clearly mortified daughter).

This was a cheap shoe shop, not Christian bloody Louboutin. We didn't even call them 'nude' much less have several shades thereof...

Another Saturday:

Drunk woman staggers in the middle of winter wearing pair of utterly trashed high heeled sandals, funnily enough in beige. Starts slurring.

Drunk: 'Yiz need to gee me the money back for my shoes I bought last week. They don't fit'
Manager: Okay, where are the shoes. As long as they've not been worn this shouldn't be a problem.
Drunk: Can you no see them, I'm wearing them.

Manager: There's extensive wear on these. I'm afraid we can't refund them and you couldn't have bought them last week, they're last seasons.
Drunk: I'm getting the polis if you don't taken these off me & give me my money back.
Manager: But even if we could, you'd have no shoes on and it's raining

Last one:

Arsehole customer yelling: Haw, ,
PN: Serving another customer, blissfully unaware
ACY: , , gonnae get us yon shoes

PN: Figures out customer is not bonkers, but actually thinks this is how one summons a shop assistant Can I get you anything at all?
ACY: Naw you're alright. The service in here's pish and am no coming back.

...a couple of hours later...

ACY: ,

Next door neighbour comes round to see me a couple of years ago.

Her: You've put flies in my bin!
Me: Wh...!?
Her: Your compost bin has flies. Now my bin has flies too, its your fault, come & take them away please.
Me: Erm... I don't think flies would go into your bin just because I've got a compost bin. My dustbin doesn't have any flies.
Her: I'll call the council & report you if you don't do something about it.
Me: Ok. But, I'm pretty sure the council support the use of compost bins, they sold it to me.

She steams off into her house in a huff. Makes a couple of of snide comments about it but she essentially dropped it. I saw her emptying her kitchen bin last week, she decanted the contents directly into the dustbin. Penny drops...

Doing credit control I rang a customer and asked him when he was going to pay his bill. He told me he would pay £10 (not real figures add lots of noughts) I said thank you that's great but could he pay £15 (add lots of noughts again) because that's what he actually owed.
He slammed the phone down and told everyone he knew how rude I was!! I still get told this story by people in the industry and I always smile. Cos he's an idiot, and I'm not.

When I worked for the council, we had a lady ringing up about cat poo in her garden...conversation went along the lines of...

Cat lady: I am ringing to complain about cat poo in my garden, can you send someone to get rid of it as soon as possible.
My colleague: Um...unfortunately we aren't able to come and remove cat poo.
Cat lady: But i'm a council tenant, you are the council?
MC: Yes, but removing cat poo isn't a service that we are able to provide.
CL: So what am I supposed to do about it? I can't even use my own garden!
MC: Well I suppose you could speak to the owner of the cat about it, do you know who the cat belongs to?
CL: Yes, me. It is my cat.

I think at that point my colleague burst out laughing! He said the woman was deadly serious and was genuinely angry that we wouldn't send someone round to clear up after her cat!

I'm a student nurse. I was once chatting to a patient when he said to me, out of the blue, "so, are you Chinese then?" I'm not, and I said so. He replied "are you sure?!" I smiled at him and said "I'm totally sure" and he complained to the ward sister! I have no idea why he thought I was Chinese but he was genuinely upset that I wasn't!

oinktopus You complained because IT didn't fix a kettle? They're IT, not electrical repairs?!!!

Cheese Hehe! No, the other way around! I was saying how someone asked them to fix the kettle. I found it strange too.

ouch, altkin, that poor little boy. But what an unreasonable mother! Should have been more worried about her son that claiming compo. How on earth she thought it was your fault, rather than hers, I do not know.

I used to work as a waitress in my student days and once a lady ordered a Thai Green curry. She went ballistic because it didn't taste like chicken tikka massala like she expected. I explained that was an Indian curry and Thai is different, as explained in the menu. Apparently it shouldn't be called a curry if it doesn't taste like its from an Indian takeaway :/

Once at the zoo with DC (mixed race) I was told that my hair was racist. Apparently braids are only for black people and I was mocking my DC...