Strangest complaint you've ever received

[bdbfan]

Following on from the thread about ridiculous tourist complaints, what's the strangest complaint you've ever received?

I'll start, I run a small cafe, a lady ordered a toasted sandwich then asked for a refund because it was toasted. She said she didn't realise it would be heated in a new fangled thing and wanted something from the 90's.

I still have absolutely no clue about what she was after.

A couple of weeks ago someone tried to order "BBQ Ribs, but with none of the boney stuff" I was certain no-one would actually try and order ribs without ribs so replied "I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understood that properly, what is it you were after?" Upon which he complained that the ribs he ordered last week had too many bones in them, so could he order some more but with no bone this time

CAn you clarfiy that last but disgrace - I feel I am missing a joke.

Working in a call center someone decided they shouldn't have to repay a loan and wanted to complain about me having the cheek to suggest they should. I gave my name as asked and they refused to believe me! I ended up saying Oh fine Yes you caught me my name is really Michelle. They very patronisingly said there, doesn't that feel good to tell the truth? I agree, they ringoff. 5 mins later a very confused manager asked who Michelle was.

Dame thanks for the link. It is hilarious, wish I'd have known it back then, could have had a good laugh.

As a waitress I had a lady tell me it was my fault her son had died.

I felt quite sorry for her as she was obviously grieving but after twenty minutes of being followed around the restaurant while she ranted and swore I had to ask her to leave.

That was actually the day I left. Final straw type incident - the manager knew what was going on but didn't intervene at all.

I work at a local paper and our editor had a complaint letter the other day from a woman who didn't like being described in an article as a 'grieving widow' saying: "I'm not grieving. I was married to him for 40yrs and it was bloody hard work."

Remembered another from when I was waitressing.

A set menu was given for a function one night. It had a separate vegetarian option.

Customer asks me if her soup is fully vegetarian and made with veg stock. I said yes, I'm sure. She asked me to check with the chef. I did. Returned and told her it was indeed vegetarian.

She then asks to speak to the chef. So she asks him the same questions then announced she didn't believe us and wouldn't eat it!

Madness.

I work for a major broadcaster. We recently had a complaint that our social media should not be publicising soaps, it should be talking about Jeaus because he fixes the drama in people's lives

Oh, I am loving these

heymicky- your winning in my book!

hahahahahahaha!

I once called Live and Kicking (Saturday morning TV) up and asked them to be quieter because I was hung over and the TV remote was too far away for me to reach, the guy on the other end of the phone couldn't say anything for laughing.

Another time I phoned up sky and asked them to ask the sign language lady at the bottom of the screen to take a step to the right because I couldn't see a bit of what was happening. The guy on the end of the line there was trying to be so professional in his advice as well, but was also laughing.

I came to the conclusion that me + alcohol + a phone + a TV = me being an idiot and making stupid complaints.

I once addressed an e-mail to 'Dear Colleagues' and got severely bollocksed by my boss because I was just a newbie and how dare I place myself on the same footing as some of the illustrious people working with me.

True story.

I had a student complain about me because I gave him some assignment feedback in my staffroom rather than a classroom. [Confused]

I had to be told about the complaint so I asked my boss about how the investigation would work. She said, "this is the investigation." She was as bemused as me.

I'm a landlord.

A tenant complained that the birds' dawn chorus kept waking her up and what was I going to do about it? (Kill all songbirds in East London perhaps? I really don't know what she expected).

And another one wanted me to send a pest control company round as when he sat outside in the evening he kept getting mossie bites. (Considering there was no standing water in the garden, which was in any case the size of a pocket hankerchief, even if you could get pest control to spray mosquitos in your garden, which I doubt, it would hardly be likely to make any difference - I tried to explain this to no avail).

I was once shouted at for over an hour by a man who was unhappy with the care his wife had received in labor. In a previous pregnancy. That she'd had at another hospital. Where I'd never worked. In a country I'd never visited. Before I'd even qualified as a midwife!

When working for a Housing Association - slugs are coming into my garden from next door....

I own a small marketing company, a client cancelled his contract last week complaining that we have found him too many new customers and he can't keep up with the pace anymore

In a previous job somebody wrote to head office threatening legal action because I'd "looked at him funny"

"You have a nice rack but your nipples aren't brown enough."

THEN was puzzled when I broke things off with him shortly after!

I worked as a bingo caller and during an interval a lady complained that every time she got down to two numbers I 'changed my voice so she wouldn't win'.

Another time while I was calling, a customer won a large jackpot of a few thousand pounds. Everyone was really pleased for her and when I went over to congratulate her, she looked at me like I'd shat on her baby and said "THAT won't pay my electric bill, you fucking idiot!" and walked out of the hall loudly shouting about how rubbish I was and how I'd conned her.

The manager took her membership card and asked her not to come back.

Hmm. On second glances, most people's replies seem to be work related. Fuck. I'm not a prostitute, honestly!

Millions from my student days working for a major supermarket:

Too much surface water in the carpark. It was autumn and check my mn nickname as to why that was slightly not my problem.

For some reason a pair of rubber gloves from another store ended up in ours. Bloke would not have it that I could not put them through.

We had run out of specific shade of lipstick from a cosmetics concession over which we had no control. I helpfully suggested trying the Boots right next door. Literally the doors are adjacent. She complained to customer services. And then the girl on there told me off.

I was subjected to a tirade of abuse because the supermarket's top of the range mincemeet was not labelled Luxury but 'Supermarket's Top-of-tge-Range'.

Foslady - you just reminded me of my time working for a council housing repairs department. A lady called up to tell me there were armadillos coming through her living room wall.
I didn't put that on the ticket...

I have two. I worked in a Bingo hall once and the old ladies didn't like female staff. They complained that I was too young and made the uniform look slutty. All the young male staff got boxes of biscuits, I got sneered at.

In a shop I once worked in, we got a written letter of complaint that we were selling tshirts with demonic symbols. There was a tshirt with a modern design with some lines on it. Some lines crossed and it was slightly lower than the middle, so inverted cross to this guy.

I used to work in the office of an alarm fitting company. One day the boss was off to install a system at an old lady's house.

I got a phone call from the lady saying that a man had turned up in one of our vans but he couldn't possibly be the right man because he had a beard.

I assured her he was the right man and that in fact he was the owner of the company (thinking this would please her) She replied "oh no, I won't have an alarm installed by a company ran by a man with a beard" and hung up.