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Original poster

Strangest complaint you've ever received

320 replies

bdbfan · 26/10/2013 12:54

Following on from the thread about ridiculous tourist complaints, what's the strangest complaint you've ever received?

I'll start, I run a small cafe, a lady ordered a toasted sandwich then asked for a refund because it was toasted. She said she didn't realise it would be heated in a new fangled thing and wanted something from the 90's.

I still have absolutely no clue about what she was after.

OP posts:
creepypenisreaper · 26/10/2013 20:14

A woman complained that she was allergic to aircon and insisted that she got the seat that was being cleaned (someone had spilt juice underneath it so the whole thing needed wiped before it got sticky.) The thing is, the cafe had just been refurbed and was still awaiting an aircon system to be fitted so she was talking shite. I pointed this out to her and she said 'well, there is a cold blast coming from somewhere,' to which I replied 'You did leave the front door open on your way in. Would you like me to close it?'

storminabuttercup · 26/10/2013 20:17

I had a lady shout at me for 45 minutes as she felt our company were breaking data protection by publishing her bills on 'that Internet' so everyone can see. No matter how much I tried to explain she wouldn't have it.

It clearly said on her bill 'your bill can be viewed online at www.abcde.co.uk

She was clearly really confused and had told me she never used the internet but she was just so horrible to me that after 45 mins I told her we weren't getting anywhere and I would be ending the call. She'd had one too many swear warnings anyway.

AndHarry · 26/10/2013 20:19

Loving the flowers living too long :o

edam · 26/10/2013 20:26

'Why have you got BOOKS?!'

From someone touring our offices. I had no idea how to answer that one, apart from 'we do book reviews'... She was genuinely outraged.

Onesleeptillwembley · 26/10/2013 20:27

I got told I was a disgrace, and the shop keeper was threatened with the police, for selling me wine and beer at 7pm at night in my 'school uniform'. It was a real rant. I was a 21 year old prison officer on my way home with my coat over my uniform. Ffs I was In my car! The shopkeeper had known me almost all my life and did serve me in sixth form uniform once I was 18.

gintastic · 26/10/2013 20:28

I remember as a drunk student writing a letter to the people who make "I can't believe it's not butter" complaining that we could, in fact, believe it wasn't butter...

They sent us some vouchers and thanked us for our feedback!

Pollydon · 26/10/2013 20:29

3 from working at a fairground.
The water in the log flume was real, customer assumed it was fake.
I had not dried the seats on a ride, it was outside and still raining.
I had apparently shortened the ride on a WOODEN rollercoaster.

FeckOffCupofBatBlood · 26/10/2013 20:29

Grin at the cat looking at the bird table too much.

edam · 26/10/2013 20:34

Puppy, love the non-grieving widow. Grin

Thesebootsweremadeforwalking · 26/10/2013 20:34

Years ago I worked in a restaurant. A customer sent his pizza back to the kitchen because the anchovies tasted fishy and salty.

creepypenisreaper · 26/10/2013 20:39

This isn't me personally, but a Chinese buffet near to where I live puts letters and e-mails from its customers (good and bad) on the walls near the entrance. On the way out one day I stopped to look at a hand-written letter the management had attached to one of the complaints. It read somewhere along the lines of 'The management here at (name of buffet) welcome all customers apart from the people who sent the letter. We do not believe in the discrimination of disabled people. Do not read if sensitive' etc.

I read the e-mail and it was a complaint from some heartless bastard moaning that a party of children with special needs should have been moved into the corner of the restaurant as they were 'making funny noises' and ruined his and his family's meal, and that they shouldn't be allowed near 'normal' members of the public.

Good on the management for calling the pricks out instead of brushing it under the carpet.

Bathtimesoaker · 26/10/2013 20:39

My company organises lots of events and we've had some absolute classics. My favourite, from someone who had received and eaten a lovely and free meal, the cuttlery apparently was 'too heavy'.

What do you even say to that?

IsThatTrue · 26/10/2013 20:40

I had a man having a go at me when he called my home phone. The number is advertised as a roofing company for some unknown reason Hmm the conversation went a bit like this:

'Hi can I speak to the manager'

'sorry this isn't a business phone number'

'But it was on the van'

'I'm really sorry but this is my personal phone number'

'Well what is the number then?'

'I don't know, as I'm not them!'

'You're not being very helpful, I'm going to complain when I speak to the manager'

'I don't care as I don't work for them!'

I had to hang up, as he just wouldn't listen!

bruffin · 26/10/2013 20:42

I was in a shop with a lady complaining her children were tramatized by a video her older son had bought. It was Shaun of the Dead and her children were 8 and 10 .She was going to write to the director saying it was misrepresented as a commedy.

ThisIsNotWhatIWasAfter · 26/10/2013 20:43

I work at a city farm, cue moans from visitors about the smell hmm imagine that it smells like a farm Confused. Get the odd complaint from people who've been bitten by something they were feeding... while standing next to a sign asking them not to feed the animals. But i think my favourite was a youth leader who complained when i gave her a row for allowing a child in her care to climb into a field full of potentially dangerous animals weeps
Get loads of weird ones from people who don't know about animals but that's what i'm there for. If you've never seen a chicken dust bathe then you would think it was having a stroke.

SHRIIIEEEKFuckingBearBlood · 26/10/2013 20:43

Pmsl at the mice with dirty balls :)

Dawnywoo · 26/10/2013 20:44

I also used to run a small café. it was called truffles and had a chocolate theme. I was famous for my chocolate brownies. one day, a regular customer brought one of my brownies back (first and only time) complaining his wife said the chocolate cakes weren't 'cooked properly'

I went into full-on Gordon Ramsay rant. Shouting and screaming about the being philistines. Not knowing and understanding what a 'brownie' is (i.e. not chocolate cake, but squidgy, dense, chocolate squares)

I HATED them for years. They came back. Arseholes. It was Nigella's recipe. What makes me so sad is that Nigella this year didn't defend herself against her vile husband. For some reason that made it worse.

I have also been on Masterchef. I think I may now be a diva.

SHRIIIEEEKFuckingBearBlood · 26/10/2013 20:45

We get calls all the time for a chinese takeaway. Some are most put out whe I say they have ths wrong number. I should cook them something - that would ensure they never bother us again!

BadgersNadgers · 26/10/2013 20:46

I worked in a deli years back and a woman came in asking for £1 worth of Brie. So I cut her this tiny wedge, it came to 99p (I am good at cheese Grin), she paid and left. Five minutes later she returned to complain that her pece of cheese was too small. The boss gave her a refund to get rid of her.

ThisIsNotWhatIWasAfter · 26/10/2013 20:46

Completely forgot about the complaints we regularly receive about the slides in the swing park being wet when its raining. Or that the Highland cows/Shetland pony are standing in mud/snow/rain.

AnyCoffeeFucker · 26/10/2013 20:47

Our work phone number was similar to the local hospital dept. for something or other. We had a lot of irate people who insisted they had dialed the right number and why would we not put them through anyway. Hmm

SHRIIIEEEKFuckingBearBlood · 26/10/2013 20:47

Lol dawny I bet they felt all vindicated when that prick saod he didnt like nigellas cooking.
Or more likely they've had another brownie since and realised what fools they were

Itsjustafleshwound · 26/10/2013 20:50

I worked at a share registrars (in the days of paper share certificates). I got a three page letter from a shareholder raging that we had ripped him off - he had paid ££££ for his shares and we had only sent him a share certificate for xxx 5p shares (he was confusing the nominal value of shares for the market value)

ScoutJemAndBoooooooooooo · 26/10/2013 20:53

My son works for a major supermarket, not the fruit and veg department but he was walking through that dept wearing his uniform.

He was accosted by a customer brandishing a carrot, which apparently was far too phallic to be on sale in a family super,arket, and demanded to know why carrots were not screened before going on sale.

It was such an incovenience that she now had to buy the carrot and take it home "to protect innocent children".

Dobbiesmum · 26/10/2013 20:57

Trying to serve a middle agedish couple at the bar, they ignored me until the manager came down with some change for the till. The man then asked the manager how old I was and then refused to be served by me as I was under 25 at the time and therefore would probably mess up the order (2cokes iirc!)
I was actually the restaurant manager and was doing the bar manager a favour due to staffing issues....