Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

I've just cupped my CO's penis by accident.

291 replies

NobodyPutsMyBabyInTheCorner · 12/06/2013 14:50

I work at a friendly, very well known company and have since the very beginning of their existence. All of the original staff do hugs and kisses on the cheeks as we have worked through thick and thin together.

My CO came over to introduce me to someone who is hoping to become a corporate client and went in for a hug.

I was totally unprepared and only got one arm around, the other was left straggling and I accidentally cupped his balls.

WE BOTH KNOW I CUPPED HIS BALLS, we exchanged a 'I know you know I just felt your balls look'

I'm mning in the toilet, shuddering in shame. Sad

OP posts:
kickassangel · 13/06/2013 01:55

I once had a upping incident when doing Pilates. I was lying on the ground with feet raised and the instructor leant forwards. Al I could think was "do NOT let my toes twitch. Do NOT ...

satansgirls666 · 13/06/2013 08:02

Haha in was at work the once and we were all good friends and as I went to get some money out of my managers pocket I somehow grabbed his ball instead he made is very clear in the salon what I had done I went a lovely shade of crimson

CelticPromise · 13/06/2013 08:05

Westwood at 'Did you enjoy that?' Grin

ItsallFeegle · 13/06/2013 08:23

Hahahaha! Oh, OP I've only managed to read your OP but I will read the full thread, I just had to share my joy at your misfortune (lighthearted joy).

You've actually, really managed to make me lol!

Poor you Grin Flowers

Gunznroses · 13/06/2013 08:31

"You can guess what happened and as my hands began to rise and I realised what I had done i quickly changed position trying to avoid looking at the projection and ignore his obvious lack of relaxation. At the end I said "did you enjoy that?" as a kind of tourettes thing Grin"

Yes Westwood that's exactly like Tourettes!

ItsallFeegle · 13/06/2013 08:52

This is a very inappropriate story but i'll share as there was no ill intent or malice, just a concerned colleague trying to comfort a resident in the nursing home, where I used to work.

This was approximately 15 yrs ago, and I was around 17.

A colleague and I were working together to wash and undress some of our elderly residents, for bed.

This particular lady was very gentle but was only able to communicate using noises.

We got her undressed, nightdress on and into bed. The nightdress was a thin cotton, think almost see through summer nightwear.

As we lay her down, my colleague noticed a distinct red mark through the lady's nightdress and lifted it just enough to investigate. The lady didn't seem to be in any discomfort but it did look like a red 'welt' or pressure mark (not a sore, just an angry red mark) on the resident's hip.

My colleague was full of soothing words, telling the lady we'd go and ask one of the RGN's to come and look and we'd get her sorted etc. all the while she was gently rubbing the mark on the lady's hip.

The RGN came straight away and duly informed my colleague that the mark on this lady's hip, the mark she'd been gently rubbing, was in fact her nipple.

JustinBiebermakesmevom · 13/06/2013 08:52

OP - Was it more than a handful ? Grin

My 3 yr old grabbed the buttocks of an old man who was standing in front of us in Lidl today. She went to rub her face between them and make a kind of farting noise (she's seen here Dad to this to me...strange family I know...please don't call SS) but I managed to stop her just in time....

ItsallFeegle · 13/06/2013 08:54

Oh Justin - Grin Blush that's hilarious!

Aren't small children such trouble?

BollockCupper · 13/06/2013 08:54

Level3 I can imagine your cleaners face>Shock, did she do a little jump?

This is all very carryon-ish.

My DH has never been cupped, I told him about original incident and he howled.

No he's not CO of Innocent Smoothie, he's been on the telly lots but I think there are a few secret Mners at work so couldn't reveal his identity.

BollockCupper · 13/06/2013 08:56

Especially as the whole office might get bollockcupping. Like that episode of Friends where Chandlers boss won't stop slapping him on the arse.

waterlego6064 · 13/06/2013 09:27

'the optician's packet came to rest lightly on my knee. We both stiffened'

Stiffened!

Pixielady83 · 13/06/2013 09:33

OP I feel your pain, this is a very timely thread as I had an accidental bollock clasp this week too! I was striding to get out of the station and the upswing of my hand caught the bollock area of a fellow commuter I stuttered sorry and ran away.

It reminded me of two other groping incidents. First in my y7 French class when a male friend stretched his arms up in his seat and got a double handful of the very attractive French teachers bosoms as she was walking behind him Grin he was mortified, she disengaged and pretended nothing had happened.

Another one was at a wedding, posing for photos with a group of friends, a friend's DH put his arm around me and ended up with a handful of boob. He moved his hand pretty quickly but the photo always makes me giggle as he looks a bit Shock in it.

watchingout · 13/06/2013 13:30

Message to self. Do NOT pick up this thread during office lunch break. Getting funny looks as I can't explain hysteria

fieldfare · 13/06/2013 13:38

I read this last night, and after a bit of a shitty day, it really made me howl with laughter. Thankyou all for sharing! Grin

cakesonatrain · 13/06/2013 13:39

Did you bollockcup a dragon, op?

Dontbugmemalone · 13/06/2013 13:56

This thread is freaking hilarious. Matilda- you should come with a warning lol.

brickiemum · 13/06/2013 14:01

Or...op, is he a VIRGIN no more?

chimchar · 13/06/2013 17:34

Thank you for this thread...it has made my entire week!!!

chimchar · 13/06/2013 17:35

Oh, but I didn't 'get' talcs picture....can someone explain?

JulieAnderton · 13/06/2013 19:59

OMG - you didn't cup the inventor of the ballbarrow and the bagless vacuum cleaner did you?

MNHQ
RowanMumsnet · 13/06/2013 20:32

In the hope that BollockCupper wasn't expecting this thread to go pfffft after 90 days (do tell us if you were!) we're moving this to Classics

TheOneWithTheHair · 13/06/2013 20:35

Yay!! Well done NobodyPutsMyBabyInTheCorner. Grin

Blueandwhitelover · 13/06/2013 20:36

I feel your pain, today it was photo day. I had to kneel in front of my colleague (arty photo not smutty!!!), photographer said,' sit back on your feet!' I did so and my head smacked colleague's nether regions as he was right behind me.
He didn't make eye contact for ages afterwards.

TalcAndTurnips · 13/06/2013 20:36

chimchar - it's supposed to be the Boss Man on the left with 3> (bollocks) and all - he's embracing with his ====E arm

and

NobodyPutsMyBabyInTheCorner on the right. You might be able to make out her / arm going in for the nadger-fondle. You may also be able to discern Nobody's buttocks ))

I think you might have to suspend your ideas of standard anatomy and maybe squint a bit. 'Tis tricky.

Chottie · 13/06/2013 21:00

Thank you everyone who has posted on this thread :) my sides ache and I have tears of laughter rolling down my cheeks. The perfect antidote to a sh*t day at work :)