Ode to Brian cox

[CockyPants]

Brian cox
You silver fox
You are dead fit
And don't talk shit
Unlike most men.....

Paul Hollywood you are fit too. And you bake cakes. What's not to like????

Durrrrr, our Sarah, innit?

Very sheepishly replies Yes

enjoyed this thread, made me laugh!

just realised in time
posts on this thread should rhyme...

Oh Alexandra Armstrong,
You are so posh,
Woudl it be so wrong?
To give you a lovely good hard nosh?

TCOB

not heard 'nosh' in years pahahahaaaa!

[dribbling at thought of noshing La Armstrong] [poss new noshing emoticon needed?] [also bumsex emoticon maybe?]

I reckon he's a right dirty git.

mmmm, watched Pointless this afternoon - had rude thoughts.

Glad I'm not the only one.

haven't had sex since end of Sept so possibly not the greatest judge of shaggability

I think I could fall
For Jake Gyllenhaal

But I get into rages
Cause he ain't made a good film in AGES!

Ah yes - 'Pointless.' I'd say it has a bloody great point - fodder for some imaginative daydreams! I hear you, Brian!

God.

I would ride Armstrong until my flaps begged me to stop.

Bupcakes, your way with words,
It is a scream,
I'm glad to know,
We share the same dream
But never mind
Those cunty-worms,
And itchy vadge,
Not on our terms
We love you still
and hope you'll stay
because without you,
We would be in disaray.

Thank you. Thank. You.

Doctor Brian Cox you should know,
That these women who berate you so,
Are dried-up harpies with leathery minges,
Please ignore their vicious whinges,
Come and see aunty Buppers,
You will leave on your uppers,
I'd like to taste your manly cream,
I'll nosh you off listening to D:Ream.

Brian Cox, the big-lipped gimp,
How I want to make him limp.
I'd very slowly smash his knees
and set upon him angry bees.
I'd hammer nails into his hands
and flick his nuts with rubber bands.
Buppers, clearly, is quite sick
to fancy such a twattish prick!

Don't you be talkin bout mah maaaan, girlfrien'!

im laughing now at our dear buppy
who'd like to show prof cox her puppies

but im the competition, see
he wont want you when he sees me

or we could be happy come what may
if he is into a 3 way

big lipped gimp

Vicar in a tutu,
I'mma gonna cut you,
With me favourite blade,
Go fuck yourself whorebitchcuntfuckcrabs.

bups i think you are in luck
i think yourself you should go fuck
my wine i have just nearly snorted
for prof is mine, your plan is thwarted

im really putting too much thought into this....

Whoever 'wins', I think you'll find....
both of you have lost your mind.

Brian of the Cox
Now you are famous
Lots of people
Want to look at Uranus

i think youll find my mind in fact
is very much in perfect tact

of brian tonight i will dream
to a soundtrack of D-Ream

brian is a pefect star
for him i would remove my bra
for most men id not go so far
my husband is in-fe-ri-a

I was sitting on my hands, see,
Cos I've no celebs I fancy.
I would give DH a go
But got mashed up down below
When occupied with giving birth
(which fucking hurt, for what it's worth.)

Brian Cox fills me with NO
I cannot even watch his show
I have not pinged his balls with plastic
But that does sound quite D/s-tastic.
Armstrong I would bet is dirty
But I am still under thirty
It would make me feel vair bad
To think that he could be my dad.
(perhaps untrue, but even so
It's not like anyone would know).
Cumberbatch is tall and thin
But suffers from an absent chin.
His voice is good, his legs are bandy
('tis worse to me than being sandy).
This poem is both dull and tough
But no-one's getting near my chuff
Til it's healed, and then His Nibs
Has made it clear that he's got dibs.