Ode to Brian cox

[CockyPants]

Brian cox
You silver fox
You are dead fit
And don't talk shit
Unlike most men.....

Paul Hollywood you are fit too. And you bake cakes. What's not to like????

When considering the men you like
And the ones you think should take a hike
I think you might have overlooked
The fact they are all evil crooks.

They're paid to prance on itv,
Or channel 4, or bbc,
And waggle eyebrows, dye their hair,
Fix you with their smouldering stare,

When in fact they're not so nice!
They'll sell sex appeal at any price!
They care not one atom for you girls,
Ain't no swine deserve your pearls!

So go to bed and snuggle up
With husband, boyfriend, cat or pup,
Baby, toddler, teddy bear,
Wash your face and comb your hair,

Forget about these useless losers!
If we had them, theyd only use us!

And when it comes to brian cox
With funny voice and greying locks,
And skinny jeans he is too old for,
And skinny self he needs some cakes for,

Personally I'd rather not.
I do not find old scientists hot.

thats rather harsh abirdinthehand
im sure that you dont understand

brian is no fake or crook
and still hes the man id like to

take home

Oh Brian Cox
You're The Best Thing

Do you see what I did there?

Wassat, Cox?
Intercourse?
D:REAM on.

Brian Cox,
Please let me feel you up,
Love from,
Aunty Bup.

Professor Brian Cox,
I imagine when I'm dreamy
there's a pulsar in your pocket,
And you are pleased to see me

Ben miller
This me you should fill-a
With your posh spunk
You middle class hunk

John torode you handsome hunk
I'd like to ride your Aussie rump
After you've sprayed me with your mighty hose
Next to the self scan at waitrose...

Greg Wallace you say everything's good
'Specially if it's a sticky pud
You scoff it down, I tell no lies
Now we know who ate all the pies

Patrick Moore or Brian Cox?
One's a gimmer, one's a fox
One is old and one is trendy
Bri, show us yer Big Bang Theory
Love Bendy.

Professor Brian Cox
Can I share my Milky Way with you
While your Galaxy is rippling
And I'll suck your Mars bar too

Yes, yes I know it's fucking juvenile. Thank you.

Brian Cox please come to Oz
'Till then we have to fantasise
How you and Peter caused girls to shout and scream
and become our hearthrobs in D:REAM
(sounds like them in the UK are easily pleased. Want to do some checks myself)

this threads to funny to disappear
and its in "chat" so will, i fear
so for the poetry fanatics
i think this thread should go in "classics"

Ode to Mr Cox

Don't be tempted by southern sky's
Swarming mozy's loads of fly's
Snakes & spiders will bite your bum
If you sit on the ground with your best chum
Best you stay in good old blighty
Where Mumsnet girls are rather flighty.
They are rude & lewd & rather crude
I once saw one in a bright red snood
One has a Raven black as soot
Keep him away or he will dump on your foot
Another has an itchy fanny ,
Don't think she is a closet trany
All red & raw like a piece of meat
For a guy like you a real treat
A cup of coffee in a small Moon Cup
On this cold day should warm you up .

Very good

Don't discourage Cox from going to Oz though. That would be a Good Thing.

Do not fly to Oz, Brian Cox
Do not leave me for the Aurora Australis
Stay with me in this cold and sceptr'd isle
And I'll show you my orbs and favourite cardis.

This thread, I think, is at it's close
As sun does set upon our prose,
It is time to reflect upon our mirth,
To wonder out loud
About the dearth,
Of celebrities who are willing to try
Our special brand of Mumsnet 'apple pie'.

Oh Brad Brad Brad Pitt
All these years and you're still dead fit
Your Incontinent spawning with Angelina
(Who seems to be getting leaner and leaner)
Adds to the appeal - you're not just a sex god
But a supercool dad with an eye-watering bod.

Oh little twinking stars on high
Is it cold and all alone out there?
You could see
The heart of me
And Brian Cox sang, with scary hair.

Oh Brian Cox,
you have become,
an icon here. (modern poetry)

I think you know that mumsnetters are extremely influential
even although we cannot write poetry. (that's me,I'm talking about) (the
rest of the girls are pretty good at it)

scarey scarey hair
you make me want to get a comb
and yet I want to leave alone
and so the nits just carry on

you once were such a dude
and now we think of you rude
we lust and dream and fantasise and yet we're not complete.

Oh BC, we think you're easeeeee
but that's the way we'd like it to be
and so the story goes on and on and on..

(PS If you think this is good material just send me a pm. My rates are reasonable)

oops

Mr Bloom,
I will consume,
You, and your veggies.
After this healthy feast,
You can show why you are such a beast,
In your flower bed.