Ode to Brian cox

[CockyPants]

Brian cox
You silver fox
You are dead fit
And don't talk shit
Unlike most men.....

Paul Hollywood you are fit too. And you bake cakes. What's not to like????

oooh deearo, brad pitt
shouldn't admit but you are well fit
so is leo
dicaprio
fancy a trio??

Brian Cox I have only seen you on QI
Where you got to show off your IQ
You left no deep impression on my mind
Except a vague impression of Icelandic roots.
This rhyme is a bit crapoy
Cause I don't really know you, science chappy.

A Haiku for you
No-one understands my crush
But Brian, May I?

Louis Theroux Louis Theroux
I would like a weekend with you
A weird one please, like you used to do
But no, Jimmy Saville can't come too (cos he's dead)

Caprica Six from Battlestar
You are my guilty pleasure
I want to do bad things with you
Although I'm not a lezzer.

Justin Beiber,
You look like a girl
You make my toes curl,
Your singing makes me hurl.

Clive Owen, Oh Clive
My heart races when I see
You on my telly.

Ed Balls, Ed Balls
Just stick with Yvette
Cos, sad to say,
She's all you're ever going to get

Oh Jeremy Irons in Die Hard 3
In your tight sweaty vest, you could have me
anytime.

Robbie, my lovely Robbie
You're gorgeous
Although gobby
But if you stay silent
I'll be pliant

Massood
You are a dude
And I would
If you would

Loving this. Can't say Prof. Cox (or anyone else mentioned) 'does it' for me, but keep going....

Brad Pitt
You look like shit
To me anyway
That pouty gob
Makes you look a knob
And the face fur, like a stray

Who is Brian Cocks anyway? I live in Australia dontchaknow - and I don't think we have him here yet.

PS This is not a poem

Curtain

re Brian Cox
You would be erring
If you thought he was Goering
He is not the same
Though he does share a name
with an actor.

Louis Theroux, Louis Theroux
I married my husband because
he looks just like you

Goran Visnjic from ER,
I have always loved you from afar,
You should move to Wales
For my love never fails
And I would let you do me up the ar...
se

Oh Viggo Mortensen, in Lord of the Rings
You tempt my vajazzle and pull my heartstrings
With your long unkempt locks you're a brill Aragorn
When you married bloody Arwen I was pretty forlorn
I bet you're much better than shagging a Hobbit
I think at this point I'd better stop it.

PS don't fancy him generally, just liked the LOTR characterisation.

oi, cumberbatch,
this ode dont rhyme
would you like to see my eggs, benedict?

I'd sleep with George Osborne
Just once
For a laugh
He just mustn't kiss me
I'd gag and then barf

Professor Brian Cox of very hard maths
I liked your D:Ream long-haired groove
I know we all travel different paths
But someone called me a cunt over that on You Tube.

mathew baynton

oh mathew
if only you knew
that when you dressed as a highway robber
i was wondering if you were a good knobber
i know that youre on kids tv
but i would rather you were on me.

brian cox is quite a boffin
not like me
cos i know noffin'

i need to stop this now dont i?

Oh Brian Cox
To the moon please keep baying
Because we don't understand
What Dara is saying