Ode to Brian cox

[CockyPants]

Brian cox
You silver fox
You are dead fit
And don't talk shit
Unlike most men.....

Paul Hollywood you are fit too. And you bake cakes. What's not to like????

Cox versus Bloom

A pome by LineRunner aged 48 and three-quarters.

Mr Bloom, with your sex that isn't quite normal
Fuck off back to your shed
With your little fucking potting routines
And your dreams of growing tangerines
I need Brian Cox's stem instead

Mr BLOOM??? He invites little children into his garden shed. My Nan warned me about men like that - they'd say anything to get you to go with them, even telling you they've got talking vegetables, and do you want to see them, but you shouldn't go...

(Mr Bloom is not for me - you're welcome to him, ObviouslyOblivious)

Who was that one in a bowler hat who dressed up behind the gentlemen outfitters' curtain?

Mr Bloom,
I will consume,
You, and your veggies.
After this healthy feast,
You can show why you are such a beast,
In your flower bed.

I think I should win now for being the only one who suggested taking Brian Cox up the arse in a nice poem.

Oh danish dudes,
In your Borgen,
I would intrude,
in your pastries in the Morgen
Why are you all so fit,
Your Viking genes are not shit, innit.
Your language is all hurdy gurdy
And makes me all hurdy pervy
I would eat Lars and Kasper in an open sandwich
But not Laugesen I'm not that desperate.
Maybe Torben though.

LineRunner, that's Mr Fetishist Benn.

Oooh yes, Borgen!

Kasper in Borgen
You're arrogant and a bit stocky
Not usually for me.
But I wouldn't say no to a pastry or two with you
And yes, that is a poetic euphemism.

(I know it doesn't rhyme or scan ? I wrote it in Danish * and it was a bit lost in translation)

• not really.

Oh Paul Bettany
I've loved you so long
(since A Knight's Tale a decade ago)
But my lust and my love are still going strong
That's what I wanted you to know.

You may wear cravats
And, for all I know, bad hats
But your lips are still as lush.
And your body is FINE
And would fit perfectly mine
(That thought feels like a huge sugar rush.)

Your voice is husky
I bet you smell musky
In the most sexiest way.
You're funny and rude
And I'm sure you love food.
You can eat from me any day.

Jack Whitehall
I'll lick your balls
You can talk posh
While you come in my mosh

Yum yum.

LadyClarice, Ah yes Mr Benn. I thank you.

My love for you, Brian Cox, is as big as the infinity what you bang on about;
My need for you, Brian Cox, is as powerful as them supernovas what you say are dead massive and that;
So give us a shag.

LineRunner that was both beautiful and moving.

I am going to come back on here tonight when I am a bit drunk and horny and do my worst!

LineRunner, I'm moved almost to tears.

I'd like Brian to say that to me Felix :o

Haiku for Brian
As cold snow falls to the ground
Hot for you, I am.

Obviously Arf! Good point.

Well, well, well
Jeremy Kyle
Your lie detector
makes me flutter
Your shiny suit
makes me whoop
Please Jeremy
scream spittle over me

Couldn't resist a little pre-dinner perversion...

Dan Lobb, I want to caress your knob,
between my lips and then my tits.
You can do the tango in my fanjo
and then do the rumba up my bumba.

Felix do Jeremy Kyle

Bwahahaha C0rnsilllk I love the the image of him screaming spittle on you!

You want me to do one of him?

yes yes do one for him!