Ode to Brian cox

[CockyPants]

Brian cox
You silver fox
You are dead fit
And don't talk shit
Unlike most men.....

Paul Hollywood you are fit too. And you bake cakes. What's not to like????

ah, you are all clever.

Fly me to to the moon
And let us shag amongst the stars
Let me know what life is like
With Cox-cock up my arse

I have loved this thread and read out most of it to dh (when kids are out of the room!).

Makes me realise what a clever, witty, filthy bunch MNers are.

Here here jasper!

Although none of my poetry could be classed as witty or clever! Definitely could be classed as filthy.

I would hope Brian Cox would read this thread and be flattered and aroused; not horrified.

Ooh do you think he might use it as wank-fodder?

Yes. Yes I do.

Come on then Ladies! Let's give him some more material.

I think you'll find I'm painfully shy.

Cop out!

Oh Tom from Masterchef
Tickle my body with your breath
You've got a great bum
And your food is yum
I'll be the bunny to your Hef

Oh Harry Judd, Oh Harry Judd,
I'd love to see you in the nudd.
Or, if not completely nude,
Stripped to your keks like in
No reason why we can't have fun
I'm not quite old enough to be your mum.

Oh my dearest Professor Brian Cox
Amaze me with your algebraic regime
Heisenberg may be uncertain
But I know what you can stick up my Vagine.

Oh, Jacques Villeneuve
I bet you're a real perve
Often on pole
Come have my hole
In the pits
I'll show you my tits
Spurt your champagne on me.

Classy, Huntycat.

Harry Pearce. You make me all fierce.
If I was inscrutable like Roz
or perky like that new one
would you lock down the grid
so we could thoroughly do one?

Nice Harry Pearce reference.

Ashley Banjo,
Lick my fanjo.
You look terrific.
Let me ride you like seabiscuit!

Smut before the school run. You canny beat it!

Mr Bloom!
Will you be my bridegroom?
Actually that is a bit formal
I bet you like sex that isn't quite normal
Why don't you and I get all hot
Over there by that flower pot
Although I think I may have to quash
Whatever you have planned with that squash

Michael Buble you Canadian hunk
come here and let me taste

No.NOOOOO. I just can't do it. I can't I want to but I can't. I'm embarrassed by myself on this thread.

Michael Buble?

at 'I bet you like sex that isn't quite normal' but who's Mr Bloom? Not Orlando aka Orloondo Bland, I hope?

from Mr Bloom's Nursery

Hmmm. Not my idea of a ride. Each to their own though.

And he looks like he might be dirty.

Hilly don't give up! I've embarrassed myself too but it's all for the greater good!

You need to see what he can do with his vegetables :o

Oh I say!