What's the most stupid way you've injured yourself?

[GilbonzoTheSecretPsych0Duck]

I've just come back from the doctor with my arm in a splint after tearing a tendon while kneading marzipan

[GilbonzoTheSecretPsych0Duck]

OWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

Your nipple has my sympathy!

[Onlyaphase]

Not as bad as the garlic press nipple episode, but mine is pretty stupid anyway.

I was freewheeling on my bike down a hill, looking at the front wheel whizzing around and I stuck my foot in the spokes. On purpose.

I cartwheeled out of my seat and hurtled to the ground at speed, painfully twisting my foot and ankle in the process.

In my defence I was only 9 years old, but even so, just how stupid was I?

[miniwedge]

I broke my coxyxx,

I stood on the counter to get something from the top cupboard, I am v short.
I went to jump off lithely and sylph like.
I didn't know that my shoelace was caught round the drawer handle.
My foot stayed up in the air thus causing me go slip on the other foot and land right on my arse.

[peeriebear]

Good grief mini!! :o
I have also done that pinchy thing but it was with the really nippy metal handles of my secateurs. I put them against my thigh to exert more pressure on a branch, CLACK they shut and pinched my thigh terribly. I still have a scar. Oh, i squealed :)

[fiodyl]

sliced open my thumb whilst using a biro and a trainer to open a tin of beans

also cut the end off another finger while using a bread knife to cut an easter egg in half

[wonkylegs]

I broke my shoulder in a trolley / hill/ tree/ alcohol incident told my
Mum I'd injured it playing basketball (at night in a little black dress and heels )

[pointythings]

I once slipped on a piece of cooked pasta that my mum had dropped and tore my cruciate ligaments - ruined my fencing season...

And not too long ago I was at evening surgery to get DD checked over (she'd had a perforated eardrum) and as the staff let me out through the office entrance, I failed to mind the step and badly sprained my ankle. Oh, and the sign was only there in HUUUUUUUGE letters... The looks on the receptionists' faces - terrified taht I'd sue, or something? I just couldn't stop apologising.

[wonkylegs]

I also injured my back and had to be stretchered out of my shared house years back. I was racing my BF at the time naked for the shower, slipped and fell in the smallest room in the house behind the door... It was a real challenge for the ambulance service to remove me from the room on a spinal board without flashing me to the whole world - it took them an excruciatingly embarrassing hour , thankfully most of it passed in a blur thanks to the pain relief . Weirdly my flatmate in the next room slept through the whole thing and was surprised to find out I was in hospital

[DaveGrohlsgirl]

I walked into the end part of a stairgate and passed out with the pain, had an earth shattering bruise for weeks

[GilbonzoTheSecretPsych0Duck]

Some of these are really .

Luckily most of them are really !

[KateBC]

MrsChemist I did that too, and had to wear a neck brace for two weeks!

A few months ago I was sitting on the sofa waiting for my dinner to cook, had just got over horrendous morning sickness so was constantly starving. When the buzzer went on the cooker i was so excited i leapt off the sofa, got one foot caught up my trouser leg and fell flat on my face on the floor! Had a really attractive bruise on my forehead

[travellingwilbury]

I went to sodding legoland over two weeks ago and gave myself whiplash on a souped up teacup ride

I am not even getting any sympathy because everyone just laughs when I tell them . But it hurts !

[travellingwilbury]

miniwedge That sounds hideous , very scary but beautifully explained .

[Bearcat]

Managed to sprain BOTH of my ankles at the same time playing rounders on Hampstead Heath when I was in my 20's.
All us youngsters (oh those were the days) had gone for a drunken picnic and the shoes I had on were the equivelent of the flat pumps the youngsters wear these days. They had very smooth soles and as I was running, somehow my feet just splayed out to the side, and I was done for.
Marvellously impressive bruising almost up to knee level. Had a tubigrip on one leg and some sort of sticky plaster over the tubigrip on the other leg.
DP (now DH) was a bit mortified by me I think!
Broke my little toe a few years ago one Friday night stubbing my toe on the iron thing that holds the living room door open after drinking several glasses of wine.

[Nagoo]

cut my eyeball when trimming my fringe....

The doctor used the word 'puncture'

[Xales]

Was on an A shaped ladder, pushed up the loft hatch cover. Ladder wobbled and as I lost my balance the loft hatch came down with my fingers between its edges and the hatch trapping one hand each side of it.

Lucky the ladder didn't go all the way over however I was stuck with my fingers trapped.

[gregssausageroll]

Was sat on the toilet and fiddling with my rings. Ring fell to the floor so I lent forward to pickuit up. When I came back up, I hit my head so hard off the sink I knocked myself out.

[GilbonzoTheSecretPsych0Duck]

My friend did that gregs. I was downstairs and heard a massive crash. I thought it was her ds emptying the shelves again so I did nothing. She was up there unconscious for about 5 mins before she staggered out.

[Horopu]

I opened the car door and hit myself in the head with it, I'm still not sure how. At break time (teacher) the first aider had a look at me and decided I had better go off to A&E to be checked out for concussion. I had the rest of the day off. To be honest I am usually more trouble than the children.

[LesserOfTwoWeevils]

Not me, but a friend superglued his own mouth shut.

[bettyspagetti]

I was in work today at the photocopier and turned around to chat to someone, as I turned my ankle twisted and I fell flat on my back with all the grace of a baby elephant, the bloke I was talking too laughed like a hyena and the whole open plan office heard him - luckily the photocopier is in a little cubby hole so no-one else actually saw me springing back up. I've got carpet burn on my elbow, a bump on the back of my head and my ankle has been killing me all day.

[Pagwatch]

I was using a really old oven in my first crappy shared flat. I opened the door and realised that gas had Bern on but the oven was not alight. I shut the door which closed upwards. That forced a small cloud of gas up which ignited on the burner.
The whole thing burst into flames burning off my eyelashes eyebrows and my forehead and front of my hair.

But dh is a disaster.

He was lighting a fondue burner which caught fire and in turn set fire to the dressing gown he was wearing.
Then he poured lighter fuel all over his foot when impatient with a bonfire. The whole lot caught. He was wearing flip flops
He was running to the loo in a tiny gite in France when he sliced his head open on it's low roof.
There are loads more

Then one night with his parents it all made sense.
We had fondue again (note, we threw the set away after this). Dh cut his finger on the spiky dipping thing. Pils laughed at him. 2seconds later mil did the same thing but cut her self quite badly.
Whilst I was fetching first aid kit and fil was pissing himself laughing at the other two, fil pretty much sliced a finger of.

It was like a physical enactment of stupid.

[5inthebed]

Never told anyone this before, but I managed to sever the nerves/tendons on my left foot by ripping the pad on it on the head of a nail.....after DH and I were having a steamy session, the nail was on the wall Still cant move three toes on my foot, 10 yers later.

Also concussed myself a few months ago when we had really strong wind storms getting into my car. The wind threw the car door into my head on one side and I banged the otherside off the door frame.

[Moulesfrites]

when I was a teenager I had a lovely floral victorian style frilly nighty.

It had (not very Victorian) elastic round the sleeves to give them their poufy effect.

It must have been to tight because the elastic chafed during the night and I woke up the next morning with a big blister on my arm!

I still have the scar!

[Scaredycat3000]

I was doing some traditional upholstery using a 12in bayonet needle. Sitting on a plastic chair working my way along the edge with the needle, leaving it sticking out at a 45 degree angle, I picked up my chair by leaning forward holding the chair with both hands to my bum to shuffle along ready to continue stitching. I impaled myself, in my extensive boob, on the bayonet needle, with only my breast plate stopping a punchered lung, leaving an interesting scar.
I also was hugging my powerful staple gun whilst talking to a much younger male workmate when I set the gun off and fired a staple into my boob and didn't even notice, his face was a picture trying to tell me!
I have many more but I'll leave it at that.