What's the most stupid way you've injured yourself?

[GilbonzoTheSecretPsych0Duck]

I've just come back from the doctor with my arm in a splint after tearing a tendon while kneading marzipan

I reached up to put a drink on a shelf and pulled the three sets of muscles in my left shoulder. I still have some slight problems 8 months on.

Neither of this - somewhat amazingly - resulted in more than a bit of a shock, but were unbelievably stupid:

sticking a knife in a toaster.
walking in front of a bus.

My dad also once ran over my foot with a forklift truck.

Shut my thumb in a taxi door as it was pulling away!. Had to bang on the roof with my spare arm to get him to stop.
I was blind drunk a bit tipsy, so I wrapped a paper tissue round it and went to bed. The next morning my Mam came into my room and screamed as there was blood all over my face and pillow!

Strangely enough I felt no pain until she screamed

On another occasion I was out for a walk in the countryside and nipped into some bushes for a wee. Spotted some other ramblers coming so whipped my pants up quick and in the process trapped a branch from a prickly bush in my knickers ripping a huge scratch on my bum!

I nearly sliced through my finger on a brillo pad

Really damaged some tendons in my foot (limped for months, but the latter ones when tired) by having a nightmare about spiders/quick growing poisonous plants, but was in a single bed on the wall side. So in order to escape from these items on the window ledge I was next to, woke up (still quite frightened and not really awake) stood up and then jumped over bf halfway across the room. Landed on one foot and them promptly fell forwards on it bending almost in half. Took a while to work out it was ligament damage and not a break. Try explaining that one people, I hurt it in my sleep. They all thought it was some kinky action gone wrong.

About the same time I fell over drunk and bruised my coccyx (I was being piggy backeds at the time) so couldn't bend well for a few weeks and sliced my thumb (my pulling the handle of a mug) near the bend on my right hand and couldn't write or grip pint glasses (was at uni working in a bar) for a while.

I slipped getting out of the bath. Not unusual except that I fell forward with my mouth wide open and managed to only hit two teeth on the corner of the radiator. I smashed two eye teeth and was dripping blood everywhere. I chipped the radiator down to the bare metal

I once slammed my car door shut, a bit too close to my face and nearly knocked all my own teeth out. It really hurt.

I am 67.I got on a mini trampoline and...Hopped!!
I fractured my knee[tibial plateau] and was in plaster for 3 months.

I have a lovely one inch scar under my right eye caused by my pathetic attempt to rescue a bottle of wine which was cooling in the freezer and fell as I opened the door. I lunged forward heroically, smashed my face onto the corner of the door, missed the bottle entirely and landed on my arse. The wine rolled away from me completely intact. Fucker.

Fell out of a tree...drunk and still clutching the wine bottle. I have no idea why I saw fit to climb the tree as I am not agile and am notoriously clumsy but I had a black eye, fractured nose and 2 cracked ribs to show for that little folly.

Scardycat-

I suppose it could have been worse...if I hadn't selflessly thrown myself under the wine bottle to cushioned it's wine fall, then I could have cut myself on broken glass too.

A friend of mine was once using a twin tub washing machine in her shared flat back in the 80's, and put her hand in the spinner to remove the clothes before it had stopped. You can guess what happened next.
She had quite a few little bits of bones pulled off various bones in her hand.
Ouch!

Omg these are sooo funny, sorry, but I am roaring with laughter

Yep, similar here in that I grabbed hold of the hand mixer blades while it was going.

I burnt the end of my finger with a cigarette lighter in my Dad's car when I was younger. I was playing in his car, and believed that it was heated with the car engine, and because the keys werent in the ignition I decided to test that theory by pushing it in, waiting for it to pop out and promptly sticking my finger on it!

I remember going to bed that night with my finger in a cup of water on the floor next to my bed, and I had a disc of hard skin on the tip of my finger for weeks afterwards!

hong kong fooy kick, hit foot on edge of sofa, bent little toe back and broke it, I had to have crutches, it was very painful and couldnt walk on it.

I was 22 at the time, and singing the theme tune too off the cartoon messin about with then bf

I put my hand in the washing up bowl and sliced my thumb open on a Pampered Chef (other makes are available!) apple slicer and corer!! Blood everywhere!!

Slipped on a copy of Watchtower dropped in minutes earlier by a helpful JW and broke big toe. Maybe I need to be holier.

Pampered chef apple corers are lethal a friend of mine did the same thing the cut was so deep it took weeks to heal, the corer went straight in the bin!

Hard to choose could be the time I sucked a cup onto my chin, got it stuck and burst lots of little veins in my face, leaving me with a massive, perfectly round, dark bruise on my chin for weeks.

Or the time that I couldn't get my lighter to work and decided to put lighter fuel on the top of it (where the flame is) and went up in a ball of blue flame (only singed off my eyebrows, eyelashes, fringe and little hairs that are on your face)

Or the time I decided to do a backflip into a pile of hay and ended up not flipping at all, but simply plummeting head first and nearly breaking my neck.

Or the time I decided to go for a run with a boyfriend and tripped over my own feet and went flying.

Or the time I walked barefoot through the park and slipped on a massive pile of dog shit

There are more.

I am a walking accident.

sprained my neck whilst doing a toboggan death slide. explaining that to 2 frowning doctors made me blush.
'and you did this for fun ?'

I fractured my arm when I tripped on my laptop cable

I picked up a puppy and broke my wrist.

IfAtFirst my db did the same thing when he was younger. He was howling in pain but my dad didn't believe him and said "Look, it doesn't hurrr......AAARRGGHHHHH!!" as he touched the lighter to 'prove' his point

I tried to seductively eat a marshmallow off of a toasting fork that had just been in the fire

I still vividly hearing my own lips sizzle like bacon in a pan

Dh broke his foot running downstairs trying to intercept burglars. It turned our to be just the downstairs neighbours returning home from their night out. He was chatting to them trying to be friendly when the bloke noticed dh's foot and said 'erm, does your door normally have an angle in it?'. Dh hadn't even noticed it break. He had to have a metal plate put in his foot, the nobber