What's the most stupid way you've injured yourself?

[GilbonzoTheSecretPsych0Duck]

I've just come back from the doctor with my arm in a splint after tearing a tendon while kneading marzipan

I had a first aid box fall on my head.

I was trying to get the shampoo down to the nozzle end whilst in the shower last week.... slammed it down with force in the air but lost my grip and it slipped from my hand and hit my foot and little toe with such force that I thought I had broken my toe. There was a huge bruise, in the centre of which was a perfect deeper bruise in the shape of the shampoo lid, my little toe was swollen for nearly a week.....

go on bibbity..... we have to know!

Oh I also tore a ligament in my ankle while answering a questionnaire. I accidentally stood in a small hole twisted my ankle and fell into the group of french school children who were questioning me.

I was kneeling on the edge of the bed and slipped off onto the door runner of his wardrobe - explaining to his mum why I was on crutches later that day was interesting

Electrocuted myself by sticking my fingers into a live, but empty, light bulb socket.

When at horticultural college (age 17) my group of friends picked fresh magic mushrooms, took them and went on a great expedition all through the campus (said campus has a livery, trout farm, deer herd, pheasant breeding, ferret sheds, dairy cows, fishing lake etc etc)
We came to a huge stack of straw bales (12+ ft high) and of course, what could be better than climbing up the top then all jumping off. Everyone found it the hoot of the season but me who sprained my ankle, badly (I still have a weird scar from the stretched skin)
I continued the rest of the night by strapping on a pair of para boots and getting mostly piggybacked around. It was fine until the next morning, when i woke up and my screams of agony rent the campus halls!
It was the colour of neat Ribena and is still all fatty round the ankle joint.
I also nearly fell backwards down a concrete spiral staircase, in the dark, whilst on crutches with bad ankle. Proper pinwheeling arms and thumping heart job. :)
Wow I wrote a lot! Sorry

Father of a friend dislocated his jaw pulling on a sock ... (a very tight sock)

Oh my God this is the funniest thread ever! I've laughed so much I've forgotten what I was going to contribute.

And I walked into a scaffolding pole because I was so busy eating a bag of sweets that I didn't see it.

Signet I am crying with laughter at you, DH is going to ask me why i'm all puffy faced then I'll start laughing again! :o

at crushing a nipple in a garlic press!! How does one manage that, Tarquin?

Signet

Oh this is brilliant.

I thought as a young child that my mum would be really impressed if i managed to lock myself in the car when the keys were in the house so after unlocking the car and putting the keys away, i shut all the doors (locking them) climbed in through the boot, and pulled the boot down by the metal pulley things my fingers became trapped between them and i sat there screaming to be released. My fingers were severly bruised. I was an odd child

Have also fallen off a table onto a step ladder (the stepladder i should have been using) and hurt my back then hurt my shin as the table landed on it.

I burnt my arm by throwing hot chocolate against the car window when shouting and waving at a driver who cut me up, i clearly forgot i had the drink in my hand, as i waved my arm the burning hot chocolate was thrown against the window and splashed down onto my arm.

This is just the tip of the iceberg i am the most accident prone person i know Have yet to brake anything

My friend was cutting up an avacado and when she removed the stone she stabbed the knife into her hand.

My next door neighbour dropped a knife it went through her foot and into the floor thus trapping her there until her husband removed it.

It broke my nose too. To add insult to injury the blood went all over my bag of sweets.

I'm wincing at the garlic press anecdote. How is that even possible?

The garlic press has suddenly made my arm feel a whole lot better!

I dropped a sharp and heavy knife but caught it, point down, in my left foot.

How long have you got?

I fell of the stool the other day onto a ladder so have purple bruising on my arm, grey bruising on my leg and I have a do to go to this weekend.

When I was in my twenties I stood on a collapsable chair to paint the wll. Yes, the chair collapsed. Another lovely bruise on my leg and fetching wet gloss paint all over me.

I fell over in the play ground when I was 8 and damaged the ligaments in my arm.

Often I burn my eyes when I open the oven door.

I cut my finger when slicing carrots and still have a scar and no feeling in the end of my finger.

DH dropped me when carrying me over the threashold and I had a massive bruise on my arm for ages.

I fell over in the school play ground and cut open my leg ruining my bet trousers in the process.

I fell over in the streeth the other month ruining a pair of new leggings and cutting my knee.

When I was little I got hit by a pram wheel and split my head open.

I think that is enough for now.

erm I dropped a hot drink on my leg and worse i did not know it burnt till saw it at night ( no feeling in legs)

But it was becuase i forgot i could not move and went to put coffee ont able and i went splat on my butt

I think my most stupid injury, and this is pure unadulterated stupidness, was when I was about 10. We had gone to a theme park and I was in a rowing boat with my mum and my brother was in another one with my dad. Dad and db started to 'charge' at us so in my infinite wisdom I decided I would stop them by putting my hand, holding an oar, between the two boats. When the hospital x-rayed my little finger there wasn't a complete piece of bone left - just shards and splinters. Duh.

I also superglued my fingers together when using said glue to stick wall paper to the wall..

bibbitybobbittyhat I managed to break my ankle in 3 places too, and had the pins, plate etc too by slipping on a bastard doormat (while pregnant)

Cut myself through the eyebrow. With my own thumbnail. I was doing an exercise video and my co-ordination is shit.

on the table

Re the garlic press it was a type where the end (not the garlic crushing end) closed together as you crushed like the handle of a pair of scissors. I was crushing a huge garlic clove and for some reason held it against my boob as I was crushing.
As I exerted pressure the clove gave way and my nipple was caught in hte end - for some reason I kept squeezing for a few seconds.
To make it worse I was in a friend's house with her stupid dangerous garlic crusher and she was weeping with laughter.

She bought me an identical garlic press for my birthday