Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

Original poster

What's the most stupid way you've injured yourself?

344 replies

GilbonzoTheSecretPsych0Duck · 23/08/2011 18:01

I've just come back from the doctor with my arm in a splint after tearing a tendon while kneading marzipan Confused

OP posts:
kingbeat23 · 23/08/2011 22:20

some of the things I have done:

electric shock from sticking my fingers in a light socket to see what would happen. age 11

fracture to the cocyx playing a game in school. age 10

locked my fingers in a car door from the woman who gave me a lift home from school. she drove off with me running behind the car. age 8

black eye from a football in the face whilst pissed at a festival. age 26!

sprained my ankle trying to jump over the fence at glasto. age 18

bruise on the whole of my forehead riding my bike into a fence (my friend ducked, I thought I would. I didn't!) age 19

bruise on my forehead from shutting the door and it bouncing back into my face. age 33

massive bruise and cut to my knee walking into a folding table at work. monday! Grin

I come from a long line of spacial disfunctioning family, we all regularly bump into every door we pass and fall over our own feet, my DD is the same! Grin

cookielove · 23/08/2011 22:21

Oh i've remembered some other corkers

I fell out of a car and sprained my ankle, oh how i wish i was drunk, but nope just got caught up in the seat belt and down i went.

At work we were short of trays, so quick brainwave lets use a flimsy looking book to hold the bowl of boiling water and super noodles, I had over filled it so it was pretty much to the brim, i manage to balance it all the way to my seat, sit down and the bowl tips, all over my leg, i manage to scold almost the whole of my upper left thigh and my left hand and fingers, i suddenly jump up, as it is very painful and apologies to everyone in the staff room and whip my trousers down. Cue panic and lots of pain, lots of water brought to me to bathe the leg in. And a trip to A&E Grin

borderslass · 23/08/2011 22:21

Broke my arm aged 9 after DB threw a ball for next doors dog, broke my arm aged 11 when DB knocked me over a roll of plastic, burnt my foot whilst making gravy knocked pan over bare feet and numerous other cuts and burns I want decent knives but DH wont let me have them.

Bizkit · 23/08/2011 22:38

Hmmmm, I sprained my ankle running down a slide,my foot went into a hole in the ground at the bottom..I heard it crack, I may have been a tad drunk, my friends had to take it in turns to give me a piggy back home.

Ive also cycled into the back of a car full force, no major injury just a sore back for a bit
I have a scar on my ankle where I fell out of my high bed as a child, my foot caught the top of the radiator, I was asleep and didnt know what had happened till my light came on and parents were standing in my doorway wondering what the fuck the big thud was. I was playing out a dream, so think I may have actually sat on the side of my bed and jumped

sc2987 · 23/08/2011 22:42

I smelled burning near the oven so put my weight on my hands on the front hob ring to lean over to work out where the smell was coming from. Turns out the ring was on full. Of course I then had to push even harder on it to remove myself. I had marks in the shape of the rings on my hands for weeks.

I told my husband he should move his dismantled desk (leaning against the wall just inside the bedroom door) as someone might stub their toe on it. I then broke my toe on it the next time I went in there. It was sticking out at a 45 degree angle to normal, but he didn't believe I'd broken it at first - he was looking at the wrong toe!

borderslass Sharp knives are often considered to be safer as they're less likely to slip when you're cutting.

Blu · 23/08/2011 22:43

I volunteered for audience participation at Zippo's Circus, never imagining that it would entail kneeling up on a horse, as it cantered bareback and then being hoisted in the air and swung round the ring on a rope!

I couldn't walk for nearly a week, my knees were so badly damaged from the kneeling up on the horse and then crashing down all dizzy after the rope swinging!

The circus did pay for my physio.

borderslass · 23/08/2011 22:43

Nothing to do with slipping its me being careless.

jagois · 23/08/2011 22:45

Got my hand impaled on an ironing board which I had to throw off as couldn't think of another way toget rid of it .Excessive perhaps, And big mistake, but It was stuck in my hand - am very clumsy. And then go to casualty for stitches. Still have a massive scar,. But worse, was knocking the pushchair, with my v pregnant bump and a 17 mth old in said pushchair, down 3 steps, resulting in baby in pushchair,temporarily trapped upside down, having to go to casualty to have nail removed. Returned home to find said toddler had pushed house keys down drain so had to break into house and then was trapped for weekend as she had double locked front door before chucking keys away. Cue delivery of indian take away through window by friends. Ha ha not.

ScatterChasse · 23/08/2011 22:51

Oh and I once had a ring of blisters all around my knee from demonstrating the three-legged race. The person I was tied to hopped and the tie pulled against my leg really badly. I told them you were meant to tie around the ankle but they didn't listen...they did apologise when they saw me screaming when my legs brushed together wincing.

Olivesandfeta · 23/08/2011 22:59

DH an I were having a bit of a pretendy fight in the kitchen, karate chops etc... Blush. I went to do a full on karate kick where you jump up with one leg and kick with the other... Only when I landed on said first leg, my knee dislocated rather drastically causing my whole leg to collapse putting my full body weight onto my twisted ankle which then gave way rather spectacularly. I cried. Possibly more painful than childbirth.

Cue full leg cast and the most dramatic looking bruises I have ever seen.

I could see Dr trying not to laugh as I explained how I did it.

DH says it served me Right for trying to kick him. bastard. I'll get him next time :o

BrawToken · 23/08/2011 23:10

Ah, this is hilarious. Taking my mind off work tomorrow as it'll be my first day back after a few days hol. Signet Grin

I recently stabbed myself in the thigh (apparently millimetres from my femoral artery) with a stanley blade while trying to cut the wax off the top of a tall church candle. Stiches and tetanus!

Once (was about 15) decided to hang my midi hi fi system - remember them? - speaker on a nail on the wall. Obviously when I put on music, the reverberations made it fall off and it landed on my nose, breaking it! Was sore.

Many others too and it looks like dd1 has inherited my clumsiness!

Saggyoldclothcatpuss · 23/08/2011 23:10

Burned my stomach whilst ironing naked.
£250 of root canal surgery, caused by eating a Curly Wurly.
A broken foot caused by kicking the sofa as I walked past.
And my biggest embarassment to date, falling of a 13hh new forest pony, walking round a corner at walk, and breaking my arm so badly I had to have 6 months off work!!

Jux · 23/08/2011 23:21

I shut my nose in the fridge. It bloody hurt.

Saggyoldclothcatpuss · 23/08/2011 23:23

For sheer embarassment quota, my Mum wins hands down.
She dragged herself out of bed one morning and started to iron the school uniforms.
In her semi awake state, she decided that the iron wasnt working properly. To see if it was hot or not, she put it against her face!! Grin
She had to spend the next month explaining to people, how she came to have a red, iron shaped blister, complete with the steam holes, on her right cheek!
That was 20 years ago, and she still hasnt lived it down!

GoingToHelenaHandcart · 23/08/2011 23:25

I tried to do a snowplow on an artificial ski slope and crossed the skis and fell forward. I put my hands out to save myself and the sticks stuck in the ropes, and I gave myself two black eyes.

Earthdog · 23/08/2011 23:28

So many to choose from! Riding through the woods on Lucy my grey mare, got some sort of vine rope wrapped around my neck, it was dragging me backwards off the horse and I was starting to see stars and feel strange. Then luckily it snapped. I thought at the time I would get a write up for an interesting way to die! Also, managed to stab my foot with a garden fork while mucking out. I had my wellie boots on and remember pulling the fork out and walking down the farm drive with the boot squelching with blood wondering how much damage I had done. Not much luckily!

GoingToHelenaHandcart · 23/08/2011 23:28

Oh and I once required hospital treatment , including paramedic assistence, when naked. Not amusing at all!

Isetta · 23/08/2011 23:35

I kicked the underneath of a table while drunkenly dancing the can-can at a party some years ago..it didnt hurt at the time, but I knew about it the morning after and my toes have never looked quite right sinceSad

Earthdog · 23/08/2011 23:46

GoingToHelena can you tell more??

kitbit · 23/08/2011 23:58

Bent down to water a palm shrub at precisely the right height to allow two sharp palm fronds to spike me up both nostrils simultaneously.

Don't try it, it really really hurts and your dh will be no use as he will be doubled up with tears streaming down his face.

happywheezer · 24/08/2011 00:00

I put my hand into my magimix, still have the scar to prove it.

TastesLikePanda · 24/08/2011 00:02

Bending down to look in fridge - smacked my face into the corner of the door.

Tipped a kettle of recently boiled water over my leg beacuse I was doing an impression of Billy Connelly

Fell over and cracked my head open while pissing about walking backwards in the school playground

LalalalalalaSummerHoliday · 24/08/2011 00:25

Was very drunk, so decided to get paracetemol ready beside my bed for when I woke up, but the plastic seal broke off. No worries, I thought, and got out my Swiss Army Knife... blade folded, deep cut to finger, fainted... still have scar 14 years on.

And a colleague broke a rib while brushing his teeth... we were at sea at the time in force 10, lots of rolling.

memphis83 · 24/08/2011 00:25

Fell over chasing my exH through a car park, managed to scrape my hips, arse, boobs, ribs, arms, my elbow to the bone, I refused to go hospital ended up with a major infection in my elbow and hip, about 5 years after a huge boil appeared on hip and a massive piece of what looked like fossilised gravel flew out!

Twisted my ankle running into bush to have a wee.

Broke my toe on a bouncy castle.

Was playing British Bulldog the year of a heatwave, school field was out of bounds due to it being so dry and grass dying on it, we play I fall over bang my head, fracture skull, went blind in one eye for a month!

ScaredyDog · 24/08/2011 00:39

In junior school, a friend thought it was really funny to bring in a chilli and give it to me to eat - I'd never seen such a thing. Nearly broke my neck skidding into the toilets to dunk my head in cold water. Had a bad neck and sore mouth for about a week, I was 8.

My brother shut himself in the door of his car, slammed it against himself and caught his hip, covered in bruises and his back's not been right since.

Dancing (drunk) with a mate, I stepped back as he went to cuddle me, I tripped backwards over a step in the pub and hit the back of my head square on a corner of the wall.

Bled like a bastard (being pissed probably made it bleed more) and my (now ex) DP came home to find a man from the pub had taken me home, him sitting watching our telly with me passed out beside him.

Awfully irresponsible really, this happened the Friday night and I went to work on the Monday and had a minor breakdown over a car parking space, nurse diagnosed concussion and sent me home. My hairdresser still remarks on the impressive scar, though I had no stitches.