What's the most stupid way you've injured yourself?

[GilbonzoTheSecretPsych0Duck]

I've just come back from the doctor with my arm in a splint after tearing a tendon while kneading marzipan

When 16 was on a train with some friends I put my head out of the window and a twig from a tree hit me whilst train at full speed. I passed out and had cut on my face. Thankfully it wasn't a branch, might of took my head off

orangehead have you never seen the episode of The Young Ones where Vivian sticks his head out of the window of a train?

That stopped me from ever doing that.

I broke my toe on the living room door - we were going shopping (were) til I rushed to get my coat, misjudged the distance between the door and the doorway and slammed my foot into the door itself. Spent two hours waiting for an X-Ray (toe was out at a right angle) then got strapped up and sent home.

I broke the same toe about 18 months later. On my DH's guitar amp. Which is 3ft high, and was in the middle of the lounge. Somehow, I didn't see it Still, we weren't going shopping that night, we were going on holiday the next day!

5 mins ago. Punched self in the face trying to take off sports bra (v strongly elasticated). who says MN doesn't have real time dynamic action updates??

ow

FFS

i am still hobbling around after standing on an upturned plug of our henry . all three pins sank into said foot blood everywhere dp not much help he suggested a plaster

When I was about 18 I sat on a mirror, and had to go to A&E for stitches.

1. Permanently scarred my chin when I scratched myself with my own thumbnail
2. Lost a chunk of ear and nearly an eye, when I decided it would be a good idea to blow raspberries on our rather fractious cat's stomach
3. Had a cut and massive bruise on my arm from accidentally walking into a key that was in a cabinet.

But, I can't beat DP's - near hospitalisation, having to be heavily medicated and getting special dressings after he bashed his calf on a bed.

Don't use the bed as a giant pin cushion because you cba to go find a proper one. You will forget. You will end up with a pinor five embeded blunt end first.

Wile helping my Dad remove some skirting boards, I stood on a nail that was sticking up from the skirting lying on the floor while wearing Doc Martins. Went right through the sole and came out the top and obviously straight through my foot. Wouldn't let him cut the skirting so I could get out of the house for fear of moving the nail so had to pull my foot off....absolute agony. Best thing was the amount of blood collected in the boot when I got to hospital.....passed out.

Have lost 2 toenails due to DD running over my foot in walker...walker is now in the bin.

Not really house related but best one was my mum slamming the car boot down on my head in B&Q carpark when she was rushing to get out of the rain. Apparently she jumped in the car and sat there for a few minutes having a good old moan about how long I was taking until some kind soul knocked on the window and asked if she know who the obviously drunkwoman was lying behind the car Thankfully I was out cold and dont remember much.

While hosting a NYE dinner party, I loaded the dishwasher between courses (needed stuff clean for full english the next morning) and being a bit drunk forgot that someone had used a steak knife, and just shoved all the cutlery into the rack. If sober, I would have made sure that the sharp knife was point down, but as it was it went in point up and I impaled my hand onto it, in quite a nasty fashion. Was not going to A&E on NYE however, so friends bndaged it up and dinner continued. And I managed to cook the full english breakfast for 7, using only one hand, the next morning.

I dislocated my knee playing that unbelievably dangerous contact sport netball

When I was 4 and playing in a paddling pool, I took a dislike to another girl and started throwing pebbles at her. She started chasing me across the pool, I turned and ran, slipped and landed chin down on the stone edge of the pool. The pool turned pink with the amount of blood from the resulting split in my chin. I had to have 4 stitches and have an inch long scar on the underside of my chin. I also believe in instant karma now.

Many years ago when adjusting to the privations that come from new DDs we made our own wine. The demijohn of elderberry wine was on a shelf in the airing cupboard in DD1`s bedroom. As I went to lift it down it slipped and fell onto my head. I collapsed in a heap and the demijohn bounced onto the end of a glass shelf. In best mangonel style the numerous ornaments flew into the air and rained down on me , adding insult to injury. DW heard the commotion and rushed into the room and promptly collapsed in helpless laughter. Head scarred and carpet ruined. The wine was lost too :(

I gave myself chemical burns using Dreft while on holiday once. I was only trying to wash the tomato out of DD's white cardi before it stained forever but it seems I am allergic to Dreft!

I burnt my bum on the iron. Didn't feel it straight away as I have a big bum had a big iron shaped burn and couldn't sit down for ages. I also burnt my bum on the hot thing in the sauna... I should really try to make headway with the 30 Day Shred....

I knelt on my boyfriends bollock during sex when we were 16. He was really badly injured and Had to be put up in stirrups for ages like a pg woman at A&E whilst the doctors came and checked him out.

The relationship didn't last long after that.

Ooh, this is my speciality

When I was 8 I jumped off the sofa while dancing, landed on my back and broke my foot in two place as well as my big toe.

When 12, tripped over an empty coke can on stairs at school and tore the ligaments in the same foot - was in plaster for 4 weeks.

At about 16, got GCSE results and was really pleased, so jumped down the stairs in sheer joy (as I used to do when I was smaller), but had grown a bit so hit my head on the ceiling and knocked myself out.

Since being an "adult" I have:
Given myself a second degree burn on my nipple and breast by ironing without a top on - large, pendulous boobs are dangerous!

Had to have reconstructive surgery on my other foot, total recovery time of a year, after having a water-fight with my husband in the kitchen with laminate floor - I slipped on the wet floor and jammed my foot under the fridge.

Sliced my wrist down to the bone, knicking a nerve and narrowly missing major blood vessels by flushing the toilet. Somehow the handle broke and the remnant sliced straight through, had to have 10 stitches while the doc in A&E was trying not to piss himself laughing.

I could go on...

did i forget that when i was twelve i had a door dropped on my leg which had a rusty nail sticking out of it

I managed to shoot myself in the jaw and make myself temporarily deaf with a bottle of orange juice.
Friend and her little boy come round to play with my ds and leaves a partly empty orange juice bottle in fridge.
Three weeks later we are hosting a BBQ and am checking out fridge. Find the juice and correctly guessing it is somewhat gone off choose to dispose of it by opening it over the sink.

Cue a BANG like a gunshot a scream (me) and the appeciation of how much gas pressure fermenting fruit juice can generate. The cap had shot off once pressure was released and had collieded with my right handside jaw -it felt like a punch in the face.'was deaf in my right ear for 10'mins. Had a perfect imprint of the cap in my skin for several days afterwards.

I ran myself over with my own car

It wouldn't start, so my brother and I were pushing it backwards + steered it over both feet! I can recommend trying to avoid this if at all possible.

Have lost several toenails due to days on end of welly-wearing at Glastonbury, was knocked out by my old dog, and scarred my leg on a sofa-bed. Also once fell through the plasticky sides of a shower whilst in there with an ex-boyfriend. He needed physio, luckily I landed on him so he cushioned the fall but it was interesting trying to explain to his mum!!

DH now expects regular injuries from me. I don't get sympathy anymore, just a withering look!