What's the most stupid way you've injured yourself?

[GilbonzoTheSecretPsych0Duck]

I've just come back from the doctor with my arm in a splint after tearing a tendon while kneading marzipan

I broke my finger recently showing off at the softplay centre by going down the slide headfirst... I went too fast, put my hand out to slow myself down and ran right over it. V. painful and v. embarrassing, managed not to cry though thankfully.

I put my back out getting out of a low-slung car whilst having a real spasm of a coughing fit. Why didn't I just sit until it was over? Chiropodist was really impressed, dunno technical term but I'd managed to put it out one way low down and the other way higher up.

Two different foot-related incidents on two separate New Years Eve parties (with the same people each time , whilst drunkenly showing off dancing.

Sunburnt the left-hand side of my face only. It was a post-finals get together, lunch and stayed all afternoon in the same chair, as the sun moved slowly round. Obviously I'd been revising so hard totally unaccustomed to sun that year. Luckily didn't really have to go anywhere for a few days but my housemate thought it was hilarious.

I knocked myself out playing football.. went to score, tripped and headbutted the goal post, woke up flat on my back surrounded and had to go to dr!

Burnt foot horrendously whilst sleeping, pissed with a hot water bottle which had no cover on it. Was so embarrassed that tried not to tell anyone. But it got heavily infected and I had blood poisoning. Many, many antibiotics and loss of mobility later, I had to tell everyone.

superglued my pyjamas to my leg, when trying to superglue my lens back into my glasses. smoke came off them! had to rip them off quick, still got the scar 16 years later!

My nanna broke her hand pulling her knickers up!

I've remembered a couple more!

When my eldest was a baby, I stepped on a nappy sack and skidded the length of the living room (polished floorboards),arms flailing, before falling flat on my face and busting my lip. I phoned my husband, who wouldn't believe me and thought I was lying to make him come home . When he finally came home and saw my bruised and bleeding face he was really upset. Good. Bastard.

I have actually walked into a door. Or rather, opened a door onto myself and bruised my face. Imagine the looks you get when you say "I walked into a door"

When pregnant with my eldest, my cat decided to leg me up, I fell forward. In an attempt to not fall stomach first, I did a flip in mid air and bashed my back on the corner of the sofa, putting my back out.

My mum's washing machine broke, spilling water everywhere, I walked into the kitchen and slid right across the floor and ended up in the splits.

I have broken both little toes so often that I don't think I have much more than bone dust trapped in a skin sack!

I am very happy to learn that there are so many walking accidents around and it's not just me.

I've got a large scar on my knee caused by an egg cup injury in childhood

ive done to many to mention

i was at a friends house who had a staffy dog,i picked up the dogs bone and was waving it about behind my head,next thing i no the dog dived at me for the bone and hit my eye with its forehead = black eye

running down a bank on way home with a mate drunk,tripped over fresh air and landed very heavily on knee,limped home lived with parents at the time = trip with dad to A&E 50 stiches,25 inside and 25 outside knee and 6 months off work,apparently i landed that hard i spilt the natural lining in my skin

peeling potatos = one finger nail sliced in half down to cuticle

most recent one i broke my little toe on friday night after stomping round in a huff with OH and kicked my sons playpen

Love this thread.

I'm not sure if this counts as an accident!

When I was about 9, I was in bed and couldn't sleep, so was playing marble races on an upturned fashion wheel (Can anyone remember them), anyway for the next level I had too many marbles so very stupidly decided the best place to store one was in my mouth, cue a coughing fit and swallowed marble, I felt it go all the way down. Anyway told mum and dad, who then spent 30 mins waiting for a taxi and arguing which one would look like an idiot and take me to hospital!!
Apparently nature took its course but I must have been so traumatised I can't luckily remember that bit.

Was putting mums flat pack furniture up, needed small hammer, didn't have one, so used a massive lump hammer, DB dropped it accidently he swears and it bruised my toe and split another one open.

was pretending to be Xena, warrior princess, attempted an impressive kick (where she spins round in a circle kicking everyones heads in ) and slipped and got a big gash in my knee

When i was 15 a friend had a house party and we sneakily polished her laminated floor in certain spot before everyone arrived so we could sit back and giggle at everyone who slipped. Except after god knows how much vodka i totally forgot and went chasing after someone, slid half way across the room and ended up face first into the tv, and given a black eye by a set of candle sticks on top of the telly.

Also went swimming with said friend and showering in cubicles next to each other she threw the shampoo over the top of the cublicle without telling me and it landed on my foot and split my little toe open needing stiches..

I've been running once and saw the floor rise up before realising i'd actually fallen over.

Drunkenly riding my then bf's bmx on route to his house when i fell off into a prickle bush..cue me laying on his bed with my arse out whilst his mum(who i'd only met twice) tweezered all the thorns out my bum!!

Also sat on my foot sorting out photographs into albums when i stood up without realising i had a dead foot. Went to take a step and just buckled on myself and put my tooth through my lip!

i ahve also bashed my head many time on toilet roll dispensers in public toilets

these are fantastic! Great to know I am not the only great klutz out there!

I am a serial visitor to A+E It started as a child, but continued into adulthood. Some of my finest moments include:

The night my flatmates left me alone. I decided to get in some ice cream, cook a steak pie and watch a movie. Only the freezer compartment of the fridge was too iced up to get the ice cream in, so I tried to defrost it with a fish slice (unsuccessful, led to fish slice injury to forearm), then had the brainwave of grating the ice off with a cheese grater (yes, I know!) It was hard work, but seemed to be working. I stood up for a breather and discivered flat was filled with smoke- had forgotten steak pie. Jumped to oven, threw it wide to find steak pie on fire. Burnt self on steak pie before throwing it in sink. Went around flat coughing and opening windows. Returned to find freezer had helpfully self defrosted, slipped on resultant puddle and landed arse down on....cheese grater. Cheese grater and I did graceful slide across floor before it stuck in carpeted area and I kept going, grating my arse in the process. Try explaining that collection of injuries! Was forbidden from being alone in flat again (and that was mainly because of the mangled fish-slice, which was stuck fast in the congealed ice cream.)

A bit older, but no wiser, I came in from a concert, late, and, being a considerate sort of soul, didn't want to put light on and wake up bf/ flatmates. The excruciating pain in my foot and the screaming that followed ensured they did indeed wake up and put on lights, to find me with my foot impaled on a lever arch file (the sticky up bit!) Lots of docs in A+E the next day came to snigger at me see my unusual injury.

I have had many many black eyes- when I was a large animal vet I was always covered in bruises and had shiners from cows etc. The people at the gym used to look at me pityingly then look away quickly- I'm sure they thought I was a victim of DV But my most embarrassing black eye came from the first time I met my long-term ex bf's new gf. WE split very amicably, and had lots of friends in common, so I invited them over to a party. Aware that it might be hard for his (gorgeous petite, foreign) gf to come to my house, I was determined to be the hostess with the mostest. On seeing her glass empty. I leapt to refill it, tripped over someone legs, went flying horizontally through the air like superman then headbutted her in the face!!!! Oh the shame! She was crying, I felt like a complete buffoon and apologised like a madwoman. Cringe! Next day, she looked as lovely as ever, but I had a most impressive black eye

i also got a head injury after moving out my tall fridge freezer (forgot a very heavy lantern type torch was on top and it fell on me and made me bleed)

I have mainly drunken accidents. I went down a fairly steep hill with path sat on a skateboard, wearing a crash helmet and having a friend push me down it, I fell off and scraped my elbow up to half of my forearm.

I needed a wee really bad once and decided to go in a disused car park, however, I was wearing a tight denim skirt and heels and the car park started with a steep, downwards, gritty slope, needless to say I was on my knees in no time and ended up with 2 lovely scabs on both knees.

I also stung my bottom and private parts on a stinging nettle bush on a separate occasion, luckily I was too drunk to have too much discomfort however I had acquired a lovely nettle rash in the morning.

I'm sure there is more but as I'm drunk when these things happen I rarely remember them.

a door was closing as i was about to walk through it so i put my hand in the hinge to keep it open it closed very quickly, crushed my finger and ripped my nail off

i once had a go at playing squash wth my husband, neither of us knew the rules, but i just kept attempting to hit the ball as many times as I could, as i never used to be able to hit a ball and i was pleased that i now could, we both went for the all at the same time and I missed the ball and instead bashed husband on the head

Aged about 12 I had a massive crush on a boy at school. I was standing chatting to him in a CDT lesson, trying to be all cool and alluring and he started spinning his soldering iron round his head a la a slightly crap cowboy. Only it still had ridiculously hot solder on it which flew off and through my seductively parted lips, onto my gum and rapidly cooled there, burning my mouth in the process.

And a friend once marched past me holding an outfit on a hanger. My mouth, open again received the hook of the metal coat hanger as she moved past at pace and tore all the skin inside my cheeks, dragging me across the room with her.

I learnt to close my mouth eventually.

Taking rubbish out....slipped feet into walking boots, laces trailing.....it was raining, so pulled door closed behind me as I stood on the step. Took a step forwards....fell flat forwards breaking my wrist....I had shut both bootlaces in the door

Was dancing to alice cooper's poison with a couple of friends in my sitting room (lots of wine) we were head banging. Anyway we managed to collide causing my metal rimmed glasses to embed in my eyebrow, still have the scar to this day.

I have a scar on the middle finger of my right hand from when I was putting the cutley away, wasn't really paying attention and put the last piece away, which happened to be a steak knife. It got a little stuck so I adjusted the blade WHILST absently mindedly closing the drawer so the knife went into my finger and stayed there hanging out as I lifted my hand out of the drawer.

Also, when younger and rather rampant, my then BF had a new piercing and had to refrain from sex until it healed - we didn't, cue LOTS of pain for poor BF!!

Also climbing a fence with spikes at the top as a child and was balanced to jump off, didn't notice the elastic of my ski-pants had got wrapped round a spike. I jumped but instead of landing on the ground I was left dangling by the ankle my neighbour had to lift me off.

Friend had asked a guy to fix a puncture on her bike. He took the wheel off etc and sorted the bike. She cycled away quite happily and went to bump the bile onto a pavement by a sort of wheelie, her whole wheel fell off rolling away from her. The prongs stabbed into the ground sending her over the handle bars into a fence. Poor girl broke 3 teeth, her wrist and split her head open.

I once severred the artery between thumb and first finger getting a new knife out of the packet with scissors. The A&E room was dripping with blood by the time they managed to tie it off, I needed drips etc to cope with blood loss. DC thought I was squirting tomato ketchup round the kitchen until they realised!

I once burned myself on the cheek testing to see if the iron was hot. It was.

I still have a scar on my finger from where the knife slipped opening some cheese when I was at uni.

I once got to test drive a friend's brand new shiny moped, I couldn't get the hang of the controls and drove it through their front porch. It was glass. (The porch, not the moped)

My Dad was by far the most accident prone person I ever knew, he nearly cut off his thumb once while fishing, and almost cut off his hand using a stone grinder to cut a hole in a wall to make a door!