What's the most stupid way you've injured yourself?

[GilbonzoTheSecretPsych0Duck]

I've just come back from the doctor with my arm in a splint after tearing a tendon while kneading marzipan

We were young and had tied our feet and hands together with socks. We were jumping around the room and I jumped onto the bed (I'm athletic like that!).
Of course I had no way to balance myself because my hands were tied so I simply tipped straight off the other side of the bed, landing chin first.

I fractured the middle finger on my right hand stickking it up a hoover.....whilst it was running...as you do

When I was 9/10 there was a skateboard outside my back door. I thought I'd look cool if I stepped onto it. Needless to say the skateboard moved and I ended up in a heap on the floor.

Got bit by a squirrel. Try explaining that at a&e

Was in a tiny toilet cubicle at work and the toilet roll holder(one of those industrial ones) was on the wall in front of me. I bent down to pull my knickers and tights up and bashed my head on it.

When I was 8 months preg with DD I was carrying toddler DS down the metal steps to a slide. I fell,landed on my back and on DS's leg,as he was on my hip. I spent a night in maternity having contractions and DS had a fractured leg

I cut my finger... while on a knife skills course #fail

i was hit by a parachutist whilst running a charity fun run...still finished the run but ended up in hospital!

I stabbed myself in the knee with a scalpel whilest trying to trim a Christmas candle! Somehow managed to avoid serious damage...except to my pride

I cut my eyeball with one of my own toenails.

I was cutting them with scissors and a bit flew up and landed in my eyelashes so I decided to clear it by blinking. That was not a good plan.

Couldn't sleep when eight months pregnant, so got up at 5am to water the greenhouse. Decided it was a good time to tie in the tomato plants to the roof, so climbed on a bar stool, lost my balance and fell off, crashing through the staging and landing on my bump. Thinking 'well thank god I had the sense to put my phone in my bathrobe pocket' rang dh only to find he'd put his on silent. Had to crawl back to the house and up the stairs to wake him up and get him to drive to hospital. Dd was born not long afterwards, two weeks early, mercifully unscathed. She does have a strange habit of toddling into the greenhouse and ripping branches off the tomatoes though.

I blacked my eye walking into a first aid box. In a hospital. On duty. Sigh.

I was bursting for a wee while out for a walk. When there were no other walkers in sight I took the opportunity to do a quick wee by a low bushy tree. Unfortunately in my haste, I thrust out my bottom and a sharp twig jabbed straight up my fanny.

In Malta, age 16, on tour with the Youth Wind Band. Jumped off the cliffs feet first into the lagoon, probably a 40 foot drop (the things you do when you're flirting-with-the-french-horn-tutor young). Neglected to close my legs on impact. Very traumatic.

'french horn tutor'.

I once had to take nearly a week off work after injuring my neck. I could barely move.

It wouldn't have been so bad if I'd been fighting off a mugger or something but I was washing my hair at the time.

When I told my boss, after he'd stopped laughing he just said "Well it must be true. Noone would make a story like that up!"

Also reminds me of the time my ex hurt herself whilst masturbating. Apparently she was having a bit of a fiddle and noticed a piece of string inside her. So she gave it a tug and nothing. So she tugged a bit harder....nothing. So she decided to give it a big yank. As soon as she told me I was like "erm.....your IUD....."

Fell backwards off a stool in Science class while engaging in 'horseplay' with boy I secretly fancied. Broke my collar bone in two places.

BigFatSpider - ouuuuch wince

Niceguy that just made me squirm - ouch...

Niceguy2 - that also deserves an ouch - wince! Now have my legs crossed.

LOL. Thing is, god only knows what she thought was up there! It's not like we had a really bizarre sex life and went round shoving things up there!! That said she wasn't the sharpest! lol She did have to take a couple of days bed rest & a couple of weeks of no sex. Luckily, no lasting damage!

When I was 20-21 I was ironing something on my bed (couldn't have been arsed getting ironing board out).

I was sitting with left hand near the iron, and moved forward to pull plug out. I moved, mattress moved, iron tipped over onto my hand. Took me about a second to register the pain, and by the time I moved my right hand to lift the iron I was properly burnt.

Slipped a disc in my neck practicing snorkelling in my kitchen sink!!!! Was learning to scuba and had to practice breathing with face under water as I hated it so much.

Needless to say I never did learn to scuba....

i bounced a huge marble once really hard and it flew up and hit me in the mouth, chipping my tooth and giving me a fat lip!

lots of very stupid injuries but most stupid if definitely the one below:

i split my head open when about 14. my brother and i were having a "who can jump from the highest stair" competition and he'd got to about step nine. not one to be beaten, i climbed the whole flight and launched from the top. i hadn't considered the landing overhang (there was no way that anyone could have jumped without hitting it). anyway, i jumped, the top of my head hit the overhang, i knocked myself out and landed in a heap at the bottom of the stairs. my head was split open (about a four inch gash) and my brother came to see it, shouted to my mum, "I can see her skull", vomited and then fainted. my mum came to the hall to find us both passed out at the bottom of the stairs, me bleeding with my skull on show and my brother covered in vomit. just about then so i'm told the family of 6 visitors that had been invited over for dinner arrived. i had to have lots of stitches. i still have a very big scar (luckily in my hairline).

Many years ago when I worked as an air hostess I rang in sick because I didn't fancy flying to Islamabad. I rang in fit the next day and while pulling my suitcase off the top of the wardrobe to pack it, I somehow let go, the suitcase landed on my head and knocked me unconscious. Served me right. I have never pulled a sicky since for fear of what might happen.

When I was a kid I snuggled up to my hot water bottle one night and fell asleep with it wedged against me. Woke up the next morning with a huge blister across my arse. Had to have a day off school because I coudn't put my knickers on.

Oh these are hilarious. Much better than work.

Anyway, when we were about 10, my cousin and I thought it would be fun to tie our hands and feet together and see if we could climb up the old wooden stepladder (a high one) and then slide backwards down the sloping wooden strut bits on the back. I went first and when I jumped backwards off the very last bit (only about a foot off the ground) I landed on my hand and broke my wrist. How annoying to have made it all the way up and down again, only to fall at the last leap.

A few months ago I was clearing some garlic out of the hand whizzer blades and accidentally pressed the on switch. There was so much blood. My DS said 'How old are you?'. No-one could believe someone could be so stupid!