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Original poster

Overheard in a change room yesterday

381 replies

Jacksmania · 08/07/2011 17:57

A mum telling her daughter that the style of dress she was trying on was called "UMPIRE waist".

I'm sorry, I know I'm a total caaaahhhh, but I was Grin and and covering my mouth to keep from laughing.

What have you overheard (not necessarily in a change room) that made you :o?

OP posts:
DoNotTakeMeSiriusly · 09/07/2011 21:21

I once overheard what was becoming quite a vicious argument between three teenage girls. 2 of them insisting that a woman is pregnant for a year, the other one was trying to tell them it was 9 months. They were getting quite mean and ridiculing her. In the end I turned round to them and said "actually it's 9 months, she's right"

BlackSwan · 09/07/2011 21:26

Feels like a year...

vezzie · 09/07/2011 21:27

Yesterday at the V&A I was passed by two of the sort of sort of smartly bundled old dears who look as if they have very carefully made all of their clothes out of tea cosies from Liberty - all solid, sensible, respectable, cheerful bustling. One of them was saying to the other in a "you know how it is" tone of voice,

"And then in the car he lit the most enormous spliff -"

TimeWasting · 09/07/2011 21:28

Today, a young couple in Boots spotted a sale sign -
"A third off... what's a third off three pounds?"

Amaretti · 09/07/2011 21:32

Vezzie you explained that brilliantly Grin

superjobeespecs · 09/07/2011 21:37

my DDs fave is telling ppl her daddys in jail .. constantly.. which admittedly he is a lot.. he works there!! bloody wee ains [hblush] also my nephew thinks his mums pubes are poo and does the ''why do you have poo on your jina you need to wipe it mummy'' conversation with her a couple of times a month at least [hgrin]

WishIWasRimaHorton · 09/07/2011 21:39

on the train to london from south wales. a young couple sitting opposite me. he had just gone to the bar and brought her back a small bottle of wine (the 250ml type from the bar). she say 'fuck me. this is only a really small bottle and it's 12%. a full bottle is only 13%'.

yes, dear - because erm, that's NOT how it works...

EverythingsNotRosie · 09/07/2011 21:46

Swimming pool last week, lovely little girl hopping in and out of the shower. Mum says "Alfresco, you do that again I'll smack your bum!" Alfresco!

And I always have a secret giggle at little old ladies who say "I was in Mataland last week...

superjobeespecs · 09/07/2011 21:52

ha mataland i hear that all the time [hgrin] makes me smile [hsmile]

andthisisme · 09/07/2011 21:59

Lady to her Husband in the Supermarket: "No Keith, you can't have any bananas"! Poor Keith (quite rightly) looked mortified.
DP and I kept seeing them all round the shop and could not stop giggling...childish but very funny Grin

memphis83 · 09/07/2011 22:05

Was in the chemist and a smartly dressed woman came in and whsipered 'Have you got any YK Jelly?' she had to repeat herself several times as the assistant didnt know what she wanted (or just wanted to humiliate her more) and them boomed at her 'OH I THINK YOU MEAN KY JELLY...AS IN THE LUBE?' the poor womal looked mortified, didnt stop half the shop sniggering though! :)

StealthPolarBear · 09/07/2011 22:10

PMSL at the woman in the cubicle saying "what she said" and the extinct eagle who hadn't been told :o

DumSpiroSpero · 09/07/2011 22:11

Grin at 12% wine.

On the way back from the shower block whilst camping last year, walking past lots of families eating their breakfasts, DD announced "I know the difference between men and ladies mummy, shall I tell you?" "Er, maybe when we get back to the tent..."

Also took her to Tate Modern last year. Sat outside having an ice cream before going in and a middle aged bloke walks past, head to toe in black leather biker gear, bald as coot with just a patch of hair over either ear dyed scarlet and gelled into completely upright triangles. She just pointed and shrieked with laughter.

Naturally we ended up virtually following him round the entire bloody gallery and she still talks about 'Mr Pointy Head' a year later.

Sariska · 09/07/2011 22:13

At the zoo last month....

A twenty something couple are watching a leopard patrolling the perimeter of his enclosure. The woman turns to the man and says, "Look at the tiger!"

The man looks at the animal, looks at his partner and looks back at the animal before replying, "Tigers have stripes, don't they?"

"Do they? Are you sure?" was her response.

millymolly5306 · 09/07/2011 22:34

Took my DD2 who is 3 to her swimming lesson last night, she had to go to the toilet first though, we are in there and as she is going all you can hear next door is some rather alarming wind, thunder sounds, DD promptly asks what's that noise mummy, is it farties! Me: hmm did not hear it sweetie, quietly chuckling, DD, why are are laughing mummy, then we have the smell, err mummy that smell is just 'disgusting', I could not get out quick enough, poor woman probably stayed in there for a while to hide, my 3 year old was not quiet in her thought at all.

MrsGerardButler · 09/07/2011 22:35

I took DD into a busy shopping centre toilet when she was about 3, and we had to wait for a cubicle to become free. So a woman comes out and we go in and DD's first words were "mummy I think that lady did a poo in here." Loud enough for the woman who'd been in before us to hear, as she would still have been washing her hands at that point. Blush

Grockle · 09/07/2011 22:40

Me, changing for swimming

DS: Ooo, Mummy, why do you have HUGE nipples?

I don't! In fact, the midwife at the hospital said they were quite small... I don't know why people feel the need to comment on my nipples.

Panzee · 09/07/2011 22:41

Not me (honest!) but a friend of mine on the bus with his mum as a young boy:

"MUMMY, WHY HAS THAT DONKEY GOT FIVE LEGS?"

Mum dragged son off at the next stop. "mummy, this isn't our stop!" "Yes it is, now come on!!"

:o

millymolly5306 · 09/07/2011 22:44

Can't stop laughing panzee!

TaudrieTattoo · 09/07/2011 22:47

Not me, my sis.

Heard the following convo between M&S assistant and a customer who was trying on a strapless bra with the dress she was going to wear for a wedding:

Assistant : Ooh, that looks lovely. Where's your wedding at?

Customer: Oh, I'm not wearing an 'at, I'm wearing a fascinator.

Gooseberrybushes · 09/07/2011 22:51

I heart "no Keith you can't have any bananas".

Glorious suburban tragedy.

chinam · 09/07/2011 22:52

In town today with DD. She refused to use the lifts because she wanted to go up the alligator (escalator)

Grockle · 09/07/2011 22:53

Poor Keith Grin

OutrageousFlavourLikeFreesias · 09/07/2011 23:00

My mum and dad once went with my grandma to a coffee morning at grandma's church. My dad received the traditional cup of milky Mellow Birds with a disappointing biscuit on the side, took a mouthful, and gloomily observed to my mother, "This is the worst coffee I've ever tasted."

The serving lady then came round to have a chat to my grandma and ask her how she was. My grandma smiled confidingly at serving-lady and said, "D'you know, my son says this is the worst coffee he's ever tasted."

This story tells you absolutely everything you need to know about my dad's relationship with his mother.

superv1xen · 09/07/2011 23:01

i love this thread! :o

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