Page 15 | Overheard in a change room yesterday

Jacksmania · 2011-07-08T16:57:46+00:00

A mum telling her daughter that the style of dress she was trying on was called "UMPIRE waist". I'm sorry, I know I'm a total caaaahhhh, but I was [grin] and and covering my mouth to keep from laughing. What have you overheard (not necessarily in a change room) that made you :o?

keysinthefridge · 14/07/2011 21:00

Well I kind of made a sucking mouth and moved my imaginary-"straw"-holding-hand back and forth towards it...

ThumbsNoseAtSnapewitch · 15/07/2011 00:53

oh you're a lost cause, keys!! PMSL . I'm now quite surprised the waiter didn't ask you for your phone number!

NorksAreMessy · 15/07/2011 07:27

Wooooo. Classics. And quite right too!

This has had me in stitches. Thanks jacksmama for a lovely thread.

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 15/07/2011 11:39

You see?! And I thought it was just my filthy mind that created that mental image as soon as the word 'straw' was mentioned.

housemum · 15/07/2011 13:44

Please enlighten me in case I do the same on holiday - I thought a straw was a "paille", what's the other word? (I only have a clean french dictionary!)

Reminds me of French class many years ago where one guy asked the teacher for a "foutre" instead of "feutre" - the latter is a felt-tip pen, the first is the verb "to f**k".

Mum once asked the ice cream van for a 69 (the utter shame!)

Niece once came over and said she was allowed to play with mummy's "cuntulator". I had visions of some Ann Summers gadget, till she told me she could do adding up and I realised it was a calculator [hgrin]

keysinthefridge · 15/07/2011 19:26

Straw is indeed "paille".

I said "pipe". But having double checked the meaning online, it actually means...

Blow job.

Original poster

Jacksmania · 15/07/2011 19:33

You're welcome NorksAreMessy - you should have seen me doubled over in the change room trying to not laugh hysterically giggle. My very first thought after was "I must post this on MN as soon as I get back across the border!!"

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NorksAreMessy · 15/07/2011 21:13

Ooops, jacks, sorry, I got the second half of your name wrong. Probably due to the tears of laughter clouding my eyes! :o

Original poster

Jacksmania · 15/07/2011 21:21

No you didn't actually, I was Jacksmama for a few years before galwaygal renamed me on southsearocks' thread. Don't know what was clouding her eyes... :o

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NorksAreMessy · 15/07/2011 21:55

Ah, so that's why you sounded like jacksmama
all is clear
Especially my gin and tonic! :)

Original poster

Jacksmania · 15/07/2011 22:13

Sounded like Jacksmama? You mean you know me? I'm such a lurker I thought I was as obscure as a boring library book! . Well that's just gone and made my day! :o G&T you say? Don't mind if I do!

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ThumbsNoseAtSnapewitch · 16/07/2011 01:56

[hgrin] - not as obscure as you'd hoped, eh, JM?
have another

Original poster

Jacksmania · 16/07/2011 05:42

I guess not :o - someone find me an aspidistra to hide behind!

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Wormshuffler · 16/07/2011 06:02

Ok not in a changing room but a card shop............

Customer: Do you have any of those commemorative keys for an 18 year olds birthday?

Assistant: No I'm Sorry we have sold out.

Customer: Oh well, I suppose it is the time of year when they all come of age, I knew I should have bought it when I first saw it.

Original poster

Jacksmania · 18/07/2011 21:32

So this morning it was me who made the neighbours laugh.

Was packing the beach stuff in the trunk of the car - hoping to take DS to the beach this afternoon, weather here on the West Coast (of Canada) has been such utter shit and they've promised us some sun this afternoon [fingers crossed emoticon].

DS, stood in front doorway, yells: "Mummy, why are you putting my sand toys in the car?"
Me: "In case I feel like ditching work this morning and going to the beach."

The neighbours, walking by with their dog, were and trying not to laugh too loud. I heard the man say as they were walking on, "I wonder what kind of work she does?" Then, thoughtfully: "I suppose I'd rather be at the beach, too..." :o

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Bigglewinkle · 19/07/2011 10:48

Would like to add one, just so I feature on this brilliant thread...
When I was 11 I was asked by the school chaplain what religion I and my DSis were...
My answer was 'We're little heathens!' Because that was what my parents had always told me...

DM was when she got a call from him and we got christened shortly afterwards!

nojustificationneeded · 20/07/2011 10:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 20/07/2011 11:09

nojustification, a similar thing happened to me and I empathise deeply! Although I didn't have kids with me (I was just too stupid to operate both the 'close' and the 'lock' buttons), and my audience wasn't a crowd of footie fans but just one, young, attractive, young man ...

thermosflask · 20/07/2011 14:49

I was at a parents information day at the school at which DS was due to start in September. He had a boob fascination thing going on at that time. He spent the whole time trying to squeeze my boobs whilst I was sat at a table with about 20 other prospective parents. I was trying to whisper to him to stop squeezing my boobs but he just thought it was a game and just kept on trying to squeeze! I didn't dare look up and catch anyone's eye whilst also trying to stop myself from sniggering as I could see the funny side whilst simultaneously being mortified!

AmaraDresden · 20/07/2011 21:05

DP had taken DS1 with him to fetch a chinese takeaway last year, and they had a bit of a wait so DP suggested sit down. He picked up a paper and DS1 (6 or 7 at the time) reached for another, opening The Sun he announced loudly 'Wow, they're huge!' To the amusement of several other customers. Poor boy must've gotten a shock as he'd never seen a copy of The Sun before!

AmaraDresden · 20/07/2011 21:05

DP had taken DS1 with him to fetch a chinese takeaway last year, and they had a bit of a wait so DP suggested sit down. He picked up a paper and DS1 (6 or 7 at the time) reached for another, opening The Sun he announced loudly 'Wow, they're huge!' To the amusement of several other customers. Poor boy must've gotten a shock as he'd never seen a copy of The Sun before!

blushingm · 20/07/2011 21:39

apparently just after db was born (i was about 3) my mum had explained about how babies are made

on the bus was a heavily pg woman - i shouted very loudly and very clearly - look at that lady mum, we know what she's been doing!! She's been having sex!!!!!

in the pool changing rooms with dd - for some reason she likes stroking my boobs. i asked her to stop but she pipes up to a full changing room 'but mum i love boobies and yours are so lovely'

ds used to be in the car when dh dropped me to work - it's in a city centre which is busy etc. one morning a woman cuts dh up and ds pipes up in the back 'stupidfuckingwoman' - ds again in the back of his childminders car. the little girl mindee had nodded off and they were nearly back home. ds pipes up 'xxxx wake up'....'xxx wake up'.......'oh for fucks sake xxx wake up'! cm had to get him to repeat it as she thought she'd misheard. dh is a mechanic and was so used to swearing at work it sometimes used to pop out - we are much more careful with out language these days

bringinghomethebacon · 20/07/2011 21:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DartsRus · 20/07/2011 22:04

I have been reading this with tears rolling down my face and trying very hard not to laugh too loudly (don't want to wake the kids).

But I work with someone called Keith and I won't be able to look at him now without laughing.

Original poster

Jacksmania · 20/07/2011 22:08

The one in my OP? Ok, you know the dress style that's gathered under the bust and then falls in a straight line without dipping in at the waist? It's called "EMPIRE waist". The mum I overheard talking to her daughter called it "UMPIRE waist". Umpires are the referee guys in American baseball. :o

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