Overheard in a change room yesterday

[Jacksmania]

A mum telling her daughter that the style of dress she was trying on was called "UMPIRE waist".

I'm sorry, I know I'm a total caaaahhhh, but I was and and covering my mouth to keep from laughing.

What have you overheard (not necessarily in a change room) that made you :o?

'Oh well done Mummy, you did a great big poo!'

...said my DD to myself in the House of Fraser toilets on an extremely busy Saturday afternoon.

DD was potty training.

Believe me we stayed in the cubicle till the queue outside would well and truly have been & gone

DD1 (4) in m&s loos with me on a very busy Saturday afternoon... And I'd just had a bit of a tummy upset...

DD: "ugh, mummy, that STINKS"
Me "shhhhhh"
DD (getting louder) " NO, mummy, that really does stink, ugh, let me out" (cue lock fiddling)
Me. "(hissing loudly) "Leave that alone and just wait for one minute"
DD. (very loud) "hurry up mummy, I just can't bear it any longer, it really really smells"

Mortified, I shuffled out without making eye contact with anyone

Nojustification and LadyClarice - dh had the entirely opposite problem with ds3 on a train, when ds3 was about 3. Dh let him go to the loo on his own - he knew how to work the buttons to open and shut the doors, and didn't need to leave the carriage they were in, so dh thought it would be fun for him.

Dh's attention switched back to the other two boys, and he suddenly realised that ds3 had been in the loo an awfully long time, so he went in search, to find a queue at the loo, and ds3 still inside, singing cheerfully to himself. When dh asked him why he was still in there, he said he couldn't find the 'Open' button (which stumped dh somewhat - he was pretty sure that they were unlikely to have designed a loo without a button to open the doors from the inside). He advised ds3 to press all the buttons he could see, and very quickly, ds3 opened the door - and when dh checked, it turned out that, whilst the train loos that ds3 had used before and was used to, had Lock and Open buttons, this one had Lock and Unlock buttons, and poor ds3 didn't know 'Unlock' yet!

I remember being mortified by my mildly autistic 14 year old DS on a plane. We were off for a weekend away and I was in holiday mode so I'd ordered a bacardi and coke from the stewardess.

DS: " Alcoholic!" (said very loudly in an authoritative tone)

The stewardess laughed outright, and nearby passengers tried to cover up their sniggers. I had to pretend to find it amusing too. After She'd moved on I whispered to DS: " Why did you say that?"
DS: "Well, it is."
Me: " What is what? What are you talking about?"
DS: " Your drink. It is alcoholic."

I've loved reading these!

Today in Starbucks I overheard a woman and her husband -
H: Oh, didn't you get me a coffee?
W: You asked for tea, so I got you tea.
H: mumbles
W: You got what you asked for, now shut up and drink it!

It reminded me of Keith and his bananas

I have to admit that I'm like Keith's wife!

Sent dh shopping and i had nipped in to PIL's when he phoned asking if he could buy some sprouts; cue me on the phone saying no you can't have any/not allowed any (you really can't imagine how bad they make him stink the house out!) cue funny looks from PIL that i am telling their son no he can't have sprouts cue funny looks in the supermarket that a grown man is asking his wife if he can have sprouts