Overheard in a change room yesterday

[Jacksmania]

A mum telling her daughter that the style of dress she was trying on was called "UMPIRE waist".

I'm sorry, I know I'm a total caaaahhhh, but I was and and covering my mouth to keep from laughing.

What have you overheard (not necessarily in a change room) that made you :o?

Two elderly ladies walking into Wilkinsons. EL1: What you want in 'ere then? EL2: Foyerloiters (firelighters in a broad Norfolk accent). EL1: What you want them for then? EL2: Ter loit me foyer.

Mum, who didn't hear them, didn't understand why I was pissing myself laughing, I couldn't explain for a few minutes, as we were standing right behind the ladies in question!

These are brilliant,i love this thread.

Lemonmousse you just made me laugh so much i nearly choked on my cuppa,the thing i want to know is did your dh poo his pants?

My ds announced to the whole bus that I was going to the hospital to get a new booby.

Also, when he was 3 and we were at the cinema, he shouted out boobies at a very poignant moment during the film Up. The audience went from sobbing to sniggering.

Can you see a theme developing here? Hahahaa

Last week, my MIL came back from taking my DD (5) and her 3 year old cousin to the toilets, stifling laughter. She had overheard their girlish chatter in the cubicle-

Little cousin - "You have the same fou-fou as me!"
Dearest Daughter - "Yes, my mummy does too. But hers has got black hair on it..."

MIL told this story to me, then repeated it to SIL when she collected her dd...

Cedise - that made me snort out loud and brought up memories of the . [hgrin]

Lived and worked in Place called Los Gigantes in Tenerife. They are the tallest cliffs in Europe.

One day in a coffee shop overheard 2 older ladies talking. one says to the other 'Oh aren't those cliffs lovely, I wonder when they were put there as they weren't here when we came last year'

I actually snorted coffee.

Another time I was in the loos with DD2. As we left the cubicle, DD turned to the queue, and said, "Mummy's just done a poo. Well done Mummy. Hooray". What's more, some of the queue joined in with her round of applause

Oh good god, thats fantastic!

Another Chester Zoo one, overheard in the loos:

Kayleigh's mum: "Right, now wipe. Well done. And flush. Good girl, Kayleigh."

Still Kayleigh's mum: "URGH, NO, KAYLEIGH, GERRAWAY FROM THEM SINKS, THEY'RE MINGING. STOP WASHING YOUR HANDS NAAAAAAHHHHH!"

The sinks were fine. Particularly when compared to the loos, which had got a bit Saturday afternoon.

Overheard in a zoo somewhere, think it was Australia Zoo:
Man to small son: yes son, those are lemurs. Yes, like King Julian in Madagascar, that's right.

We were standing looking at the meerkat enclosure. [hgrin]

DF always has the same thing from the chinese/chippy, large chips and a battered sausage. One night he had gone to see his mum so I popped in to get my usual order - sans his.

The lovely first generation Chinese lady that served shouted really loudly when my order was ready...

"Ahhh! insert my real name here! Your chip! Your boyfriend, he have no sausage no?!?"

lol when i worked in a chippy as a teenager a man ordered chips and 3 tubs of mushy peas ......mushy peas are well known for giving you wind - I innocently said Im glad Im not sleeping with you tonight .......So am (I boomed this stern headmistressy voice) have you slept with him before?? it was his wife.

Many years ago I worked in Sainsburys. I had an elderly lady come through my till and she was buying smoked salmon which was on special offer.

"The salmon here is alright, but it's no match for the salmon from Lid-ells"

Took me a while to realise she meant Lidl..

And just last week DD1 (4) pulled the old "Mummy, your bum is REALLY FAT" in a toilet cubicle :(

Whenever she does a poo she grunts incredibly loudly, full on sound effects, the works. This is my fault because when she was being potty trained, I exaggerated her normal "pooing in nappy" face with some extra dramatic sounds to try and encourage her to poo. Now she thinks that is what you are supposed to do. Cue nursery ringing me up a few months back expressing their concern over a particularly noisy visit to the bathroom she had made

Not overheard but my ex mil always used to call it 'High Street Musical'

Conjures up all sorts of imagery!

A couple of weeks ago I was in Burger King with all 4 dcs (treat for ds1 and dd1 passing gym badges) when they opened their free toys (ben10 wristwatch type water pistols) dd1 (5) got all excited and shouted to her big brother "db I've got a strap-on"!........ Cue silence in the restaurant [hblush]

clutches sides

My dd (13) admiring my crystal bracelet over dinner in Wetherspoons last week.
" mum what's that stone called again? Hermaphrodite isn't it?"

Well, it was Haematite, but cue peals of stifled laughter from the table behind!

Love threads like this :o

I have a fond memory of my friend's late father, a very straightlaced man (a local councillor). I was at their house and walking past his office to go outside, and just heard him say "oh... KNICKERS!!!" :)

Many moons ago when DSD was little she had 2 hamsters at our house that she called, inexplicably, Granny and Gravy.

Cue conversation in the swimming pool changing rooms "I'm really sorry that Granny escaped" "Well DSD you shouldn't have left the cage open"

whilst I hastily explained to the surrounding shocked faces.

I was at an inspire morning at my son's school. (it's a day where all parents spend a day in the classroom doing fun activities).

There was a lull in proceedings and my ds asked very loudly " mummy, do you know any lesbians?"

I replied, "yes darling I do". He was happy with my response.

Dointhebestican Yes - DH did poo his pants (well, his swimshorts) in Corfu!

I love 'Uncle Gary's' disappointment in the Mona Lisa - priceless

Ha ha,thats made me laugh so much,i can just imagine the old peoples faces

At Tewksbury Medieval Festival yesterday, this made me

"Mummy look at the dolly it's lovely, can I have one?" - little girl to her mum about some knitted dolls"

"No darling, you don't play with girls toys, you play with BOYS toys, remember? lets buy you a sword..."

In church, when DS was christened at the age of 15 months. The godparents were doing their promises. Vicar got to 'Do you reject the devil'. DS who has just learned to walk and does not want to be held pipes up with his only word: 'NO!'

to be in lingerie department of large store for DS to run over with bra he insisted on carrying for me and hold it up to a GG cup bra and say mummy look it is so much bigger than yours.

Then when I decided not to buy bra he would not leave it back as he insisted I would look so pretty in it!!

Have had many a don't you dare open that door in public toilets and also mummy whats that on your pants when its my period and mummy why do you wear a nappy sometimes?!!!?