Hmmmm? If there was an MNtrance exam, what would the questions be?

[ChaosTrulyReigns]

1. Are you able to understand irony?
   

a. Yes
b. No
c. Maybe
d. I never irony - just give it a good shake when it comes out the machine
e. All of the above
f. None of the above

[lemonmousse]

Do you think the pass level for the MN entrance exam should be set at:

a) level 5

b) level 3 and above

c) neither. I resent the fact that my capability as poster should be based on a one off snapshot of my abilities, that I am expected to study nothing else but MN between September and May, attend booster classes immediately after Christmas, that it will not be based on MN's assesment of all my posts throughout the year and consequently I will be booking a holiday abroad for the week the exam takes place even if this is giving the wrong message to my DC's.

[ReshapeWhileDamp]

Your DH just looked slightly askance at your stated intent to dump the toddler with him and run into the nearest Yates to get trollied. With which statement do you agree?

1 - Leave the bastaaaard!
2 - U no ur hubby best hun - wld he go mentul if u cum bac stinking of Lambrini?
3 - Agree entirely with his iffy look - even the smallest amounts of alcohol can be absorbed into breastmilk and you don't want to stunt Jasper's mental growth as he's definitely going to be G&T.

[scottishmummy]

applied drama and histrionics practical paper
go over to aibu,act the goat and then if anyone has temerity to disagree throw a strop that would shame mariah carey

feel free use props such as
venomous, vipers, vicious, bitches
and plenty humphy faces



and do a gratuitous brag and gag extra pints if you manage
such as how rich you is
which illustrious uni you attended
to brag your house price esp if it looks like a phone number

[motherinferior]

Your son is in trouble for kicking other children in the playground. Is he:

(a) clearly bored because he's G&T and nobody's meeting his needs
(b) clearly having a testosterone surge because they all do at his age
(c) clearly a victim of our over-feminised education system?

[scottishmummy]

if you see a bottle feeding mum do you

1. ignore
   
2. feel sorry for her
   
3. want to get your baps oot for her
   
4. run straight to post on mn saw a bottle feeding mum.i was so upset i cried for hours and generate a gazillion posts telling you yanbu
   
5. hand her a fag.fucker probably smokes too

[Abra1d]

Stop this! You're all distracting me from cooking supper and making me snort in an inelegant manner.

[motherinferior]

Mumsnet Applied Biology Paper 1:

Discuss the use of formula in the previous question.

[WillbeanChariot]

People who leave used teabags in the sink are:

a)careless;
b)callous;
c)cunts?

[BikeRunSki]

Picture round:
Identify the years and seasons of 3 Boden tops.
Additional points for correctly stating the garments' "fun" names.

Field Trip:
At 100 paces correctly identify the following pushchairs:
Mountain Buggy Nipper 360
P&T Sport
Bugaboo Cameleon
Quinny Buzz

Emotional intelligence:
Discuss whether it is fair to use the same name for your child as your friend/cousin/sibling has chosen for their child who is only 3 weeks older, even though you chose that name first, like when you were 8.

[Hulababy]

Name a MNetter (who has been registered for at least 3 days and/or with more than 25 posts) for each of the letters of the alphabet.

[Hulababy]

Justine Roberts and Carrie Longton founded Mumsnet in January 2000. Compare and contrast their relative merits in terms of what each brings to Mumsnet.

[scottishmummy]

why do people,who dont read daily mail link to it daily.why are mn and daily mail inextricably linked?

is it because mn readers secretly really love the daily mail but are too rightontastic to admit.

[Greenstocking]

Describe, in no less than 500 words, what the Patriarchy has done for you. Marks will be deducted for overuse of the words exploitation, misogynist bully, male apologist and braburner.

[MrsKwazii]

Define passive-agression (50 words or less)

Extra credit available for posts with liberal use of contradictory

[Greenstocking]

You are about about to pull into a busy petrol station forecourt to fill up your Mummywagon.

Do you :

A) Unbuckle all five under 8's and drag them across the forecourt, dodging traffic in order to pay. You can never be too careful these days.

B) Leave the children in the car and post on MN later wearing a flameproof suit to ask if you did the right thing.

C) None of the above, your DH always fills up the car for you .

[scottishmummy]

ignore the face to face fankle of diagnostics.hooey to that
diagnosis and discuss how ordonary folk get mental illness,and schlebs get "exhaustion" and how you know someone who had it innit

your open book reference texts are
now
look
more
hello
Grazia

[Sassybeast]

Sociology - Paper 3.

Please chose TWO of the following criteria and demonstrate how they can successfully be used to identify a BENEFIT SCROUNGER.

a) Wide screen plasma
b) Foreign Holidays
c) Council house when kids have left
d) Internet connection

[MardyBra]

Without googling, name at least five of ChaosTrulyReigns'

a) truly inspired threads
b) classic typos.

[scottishmummy]

group psychology
discuss mn brown nosing and mn oscars the shout-outs for
best post
funniest lol ever
whos da mouldies

[Cupawoman]

Private V State Education. Discuss.

[scottishmummy]

dunking biscuit into tea,ever acceptable in public?

[MotherMountainGoat]

Use of English - Paper 1

1. Give TWO possible meanings for the following acronyms:
   

a. DF
b. GP

1. Give THREE possible meanings for the following acronyms:
   

a. DS
b. BF

For bonus points, create a single meaningful sentence containing either DS or BF with all three meanings.

[scottishmummy]

Use of scottish - daily record
yer mans mammie is she
wan. a stoater
twa. an auld boot
three. awright aw hings considered