Blackbird in my bedroom! Get it out! Get it out!

[HumperdinkFangboner]

what do I do?!

I have NEVER moved so fast, was in bed it flew in the window like a bat out of hell and I've ran out slamming the door behind me.

Now tell me it's likely to fly out on his accord whilst I do the school run?

It will be in all the tabloids "Keith the jackdaw dicovered in Mumsnetter's bedroom while husband away."

Still not got it out yet OP?

You could phone the fire brigade. If they come out you would have two benefits. 1. You'd get rid of the bird. 2. you'd get to ogle a fireman.

Mind you the luck you're having today you'd probably find that a female fireperson would come to your rescue!

Omg he's been there hours!

OP do not open the door to let him out. He will just panic more and shit all over your house. Be brave. Go in. Draw curtains to frame the escape window. Creep out. Shut door behind you. You can do it!

If this carries on any longer OP the bird will be able to claim squatters rights or summat.

Wordwork

Ooooh, rubs hands together in excitement.

Charles Taylor
Richard Arthur Harrison
Jack
Feathers McGraw
Englebert

Could you get hold of some mustard gas or tear gas to go with the gas mask?

Have you put a little dish of water in there for him?

Forget the papers. I'm off to start the thread: AIBU to expect to be offered at least a cup of tea when I'm a guest in a lady's bedroom?!

Jack x

Erm.... you do all know that jackdaws mate for life and never part. Just like a husband and wife. Where one goes the other goes.

There might be two in the house......somewhere.

Or that the Jackdaw was single and has taken a fancy to the OP and now she'll never get rid of him.

JACK

OP

You should dress up as a fancy lady Jackdaw and dance around outside to entice the Jackdaw out. I'm almost certain this will work as I have seen similar in Tom and Jerry.

Also could you ask a neighbour to tape the event?

I can assure you there is no other bird for me. Just Humperdink. Especially when she came in dressed in the rubber get up. I thought "Oi, Oi! Me luck's in here!" But then after her mating dance she upped and left

at superinjunction

Classic thread.

Um. I would be calling for help now, OP. Firebrigade, RSPB - tell you think the bird is ill.

bloody hell, is he still there? MNHQ can we have a "thick as two short planks big black bird" emoticon please? :o

I'd be inclined to offer it a shallow saucer of water and some cake , poor soul.

You could wear the gas mask Humperdink just stick a cardboard cone onto the mouth piece.......

I am gasping. Cup of tea please a bit of cake please. Lavverly.

Where's OP? Hope it's not turned into a hostage situation...

Oh dear.

Right, I'm going to give you the advice I use to psych myself up when I have things I'm scared of in the house, that need help to get out.

"I'm not scared of the [bird/spider/whatever]. I'm scared because it's in this confined space. I walk past these things outdoors every day without a thought. I'm just feeling cornered.

And it must be feeling exactly the same way. It's scared of me, because we're in this confined space, and it will feel cornered. And, in reality, it's the [small creature] that's cornered. Not me. I'm far, far bigger, and I am in control. This is my house, and I know how everything works. It's just running around trying to hide."

Keep calm.

turn the volume up and press the sound button

Jack get out of her knicker drawer, NOW.

Hope bird can make a safe exit.

Do you have a grey haired neighbour that could entice him out whilst pretending to be a potential mate?

Maybe in something black... With feathers?

He's mocking me the little shit.

He's still there!! He's my dad's responsibility now .

Shall I give it water? How?

Is it possible he's injured? It's very odd for a jackdaw/crow to stay in one spot for so long and they're extremely intelligent animals so it's unlikely he can't figure out how to escape.

Poor bird I'd put a bowl of water and a few bits of bread on the floor inside the door for him but I realise if you're scared of them that might be difficult.

You could try sidling past with a dish of water and put it on the windowsill? Poor bird probably thirsty and might get the message about the outdoors at the same time.

It won't hurt you though, so just try to ignore the flapping.

Super soaker 3000? (((evil cackle)))))