Things you learned the hard way not to do again

[ItsJustAName]

Okay, so I was out and about and needed the loo and popped in to a public toiler. Only when finished did I realise there was no loo roll.

Never fear, I knew I had fresh handypack of hankies in my handbag.

I used one.

Olbas oil infused hankies do not leave you with a pleasant sensation when used as loo roll lol.

Right, I googled blue waffle. Then saw a link for mustard snack. Clicked said link. Off to bleach eyeballs.

aaaarrghhhh my eyes my eyes

dont google egg fried rice either.

Buttons haha!
I only googled pink sock, it was vile enough that your blue waffle and dragon butter are quite safe from my googleage.

These are hilarious...my faves are the chocolate, sorry poo eater, and the laser pen followed by cat bum attack!

I never mixed up nail glue with eyedrops...but I easily could have.

Never smile indulgently as the dog wanders round you leaving you hobbled by his extendable lead. It won't be so funny when he suddenly zooms off in pursuit of something and you have rope burns on the back of each ankle, which really hurt and leave very hard-to-explain scars.

Always interrogate DH as to which knives he has sharpened to within an their lives prior to entering the kitchen. He won't accept that it is safer easier to chop onions when they are slightly blunt.

Never try to read a thread like this when drinking a hot cup of tea

Never iron your shirt whilst actually wearing it. (It's true I'm a bit thick though.)

yy to ironing clothes while wearing

also don't ever iron your hair or bleach said hair with domestos

I iron my hair all the time. Not joking. But Domestos.

sharbie there was a rather obnoxious guy at university who did just that since he thought that bleach = hair bleach in England and wondered why his hair started falling out.

Same goes for not immac'ing your lady bits. Dermatitis ahoy!

Also if you dump your oven gloves on the gas hob mid-cooking make sure the gobs are actually off.

Never eat stray raisens in a house with a toddler.

Gobs I meant hobs. Damn iphone auto correct.

Do not stick your pantliner on the wrong way round. Ouch.

i was 15 - luckily twas only the fringe - nothing happened
but the fact that it was so near my eyes and face etc
makes me shudder

When you're stripping wallpaper, and have pulled out an enormous picture hook leaving a hole directly above the socket, don't hold the steamer right over the hole. Unless you'd like to experience flying. Backwards across the room. Accompanied by a pretty blue flash.

toomanybuttons - Arrghhh - I will second what you just said. Never ever ever ever ever ever ever google image mustard snack. I feel like I am going to vomit. For the love of god why????!!!

Notalone Did you see a link for special fried rice? Click on it. I dare you

toomanybuttons . I am scarred!!

If you are ritually burning an angry letter to your ex in the garden, and the wax in your tea-light candle catches fire do not try to put it out with a cup of water.

I was blown backwards off my feet !

Very cathartic !

So, so, so glad I started this thread lol.

These are brilliant!!!!

Do not assume that the cigarette lighter in your Dad's car is heated from a running engine..... Ouch! Had a lovely circular burn on the tip of my finger and had to go to bed with said finger in a glass of water!

If someone tells you on mumsnet to NOT google dragon butter, blue waffle and egg fried rice PLEASE do listen to them next time

If your bottle of tequila drops into the hot tub, don't laugh hysterically, retrieve it and drink from it.

Yukyukyukyukyukyuk

Bacteria soup

Also it had a slug on the neck of the bottle.

Aaahhh! Just googled mustard snack and now I feel poorly. Benefit is I do not want any supper.

Oh I so want to google now. Can I ask, before I do...does it have anything to do with vomit? Cos I am a tad phobic.

Anything else can't be that bad, surely.

Can it?

No, nothing to do with vomit. Promise you

FFS, I didnt need to see mustard snack. Some people have fucking ishooos.