Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

Original poster

Things you learned the hard way not to do again

464 replies

ItsJustAName · 02/03/2011 22:39

Okay, so I was out and about and needed the loo and popped in to a public toiler. Only when finished did I realise there was no loo roll.

Never fear, I knew I had fresh handypack of hankies in my handbag.

I used one.

Shock Blush Shock

Olbas oil infused hankies do not leave you with a pleasant sensation when used as loo roll lol. Grin

OP posts:
BaggedandTagged · 03/03/2011 00:56

Don't eat a Steradent tablet.

When I was a kid, I asked my Gran what they were for and she said "I use them to clean my teeth" (she had falsies). Later on, I was about to go to bed and I decided to test out this novel "toothpaste" so I put one in my mouth and gave one to my sister.

As soon as they hit saliva they just start foaming- we looked like rabies victims.

darksideofthemooncup · 03/03/2011 01:00

Bagged that has just made me spit wine tea all over my laptop Grin

JetSetWilly · 03/03/2011 01:04

Do not use neat TCP on a spot on your face. It will burn your skin and eventually leave a huge scab

JetSetWilly · 03/03/2011 01:05

Which of course everyone will ask how you got

LifeOfKate · 03/03/2011 09:26

Don't kneel on a drawing pin. It was all the way in and I had to pull it out :(

RockLover · 03/03/2011 09:43

Learned not sniff lemonade up my nose (was a kid, don't ask).

Give birth, it effing hurts! I've still done it twice though .

FoxyRevenger · 03/03/2011 09:59

LifeofKate Shock

tisallabitofafaff · 03/03/2011 10:04

Don't throw perfume on a fire to put it out.

Don't iron clothes whilst still wearing them. I have a scar.

Acanthus · 03/03/2011 10:10

Don't pull out one of the DCs teeth even if they are begging you because it is hanging by a thread. The little tuggy feeling will make you pass out and you will be unable to walk them to school.

I have also done the treadmill thing, I still don't like being on them now.

SimplyTes · 03/03/2011 10:35

Do not curl your hair with your v hot tongs which are covered in melted plastic from the apparently heat resistant material. Do not then blame children for putting bits of sticky Wham bar in your hair.

TooManyButtons · 03/03/2011 10:37

Not to leave writing assignments until the day they're due in. Oh no, wait...

kreecherlivesupstairs · 03/03/2011 10:39

Don't try to reach over and undo the bonnet catch on the car. You will end up in a heap on the floor with Mama Lazarou (as she's been rechristened) from next door looking at you through the privets. It happened yesterday and it bloody hurts.

ConstanceFelicity · 03/03/2011 10:42

Don't use Vicks on your cheeks. My friend and I were crying for hours.

LikeANinjaNow · 03/03/2011 10:42

Don't pour a cup of tea without checking the kettle lid is on properly. If it's one with a handle that arches over the lid. That steam will BURN!

Definitely DO NOT allow idiot ExP to then apply butter to said burn.

wordfactory · 03/03/2011 10:51

Oh God so many.

Do not go to the bin on a windy day. The door may shut, locking you out in your PJs. With no phone. No money. And possibly worse, no make up.

Do not assume your train is a stopping service.

Do not let the petrol gauge in your car get down to 3miles only to discover the nearest garage is closed.

Do not drink six mojitos at your publishers drinks parties.

Do not slip off uncomfortable shoes under the table at a lunch meeting. You may not be able to get them back on and that will be very embarrassing when you leave.

venusandmars · 03/03/2011 13:06

Do not put an alka-seltzer straight into your mouth when you have a hangover.

And if your boyfriend does it - do not laugh at him.

LifeOfKate · 03/03/2011 13:48

Thanks Foxy, I thought I deserved a bit of sympathy for that one, particularly as I didn't get any at home Hmm

Acanthus - am crying with laughter at your passing out after pulling tooth out :o

TigerseyeMum · 03/03/2011 14:07

Don't stand in stupid positions when digging an allotment. Feet close together, bend back properly, do not twist.

Bending stupidly results in 2 prolapsed discs and a year off work Grin

And it fecking hurts.

TigerseyeMum · 03/03/2011 14:08

Oh yes, re: trains. Do not assume the train that has always gone from Platform 1 and stops at your town will always do so. Sometimes the trains at Platform 1 have a little aay day and go somewhere completely different. For hours and hours on end. Oh yes.

OTheHugeManatee · 03/03/2011 14:16

"Rub eyes after chopping chillies - ow. And yet I do it almost every time {idiot}"

It's even worse if you have a wank. Confused

WriterofDreams · 03/03/2011 14:18

Do not use a hanger to pull yourself up into a high cupboard. The hanger will slip and you will fall backwards, ending up with a plug embedded in your ass cheek. Yes, this did actually happen, and no, it didn't really hurt that much. It was more painful having to listen my mum and sister take the piss out of me for about ten years afterwards. Disappointingly I do not have a plug-shaped scar on my ass.

BumsOnSeats · 03/03/2011 14:23

When you have an old dog in the house who can be, ahem, unreliable, do not pick small brown crumb off the sofa and pop it in your mouth, assuming it is chocolate Envy = vomm

TooManyButtons · 03/03/2011 14:25

BumsOnSeats hahahahahahahahahahaha

Nagoo · 03/03/2011 14:30

first time I shaved my legs I tried to wipe the hairs out of the razor using my thumb. I didn't do that again.

LOVE the tooth advice Grin

Nagoo · 03/03/2011 14:31

BumsOnSeats for that reason, in this house we do not eat lost raisins.