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Original poster

Horrible horrible present mix up involving sex toys. I have to go back in an hour.

186 replies

bambiandthumper · 04/01/2011 14:44

Blush Blush Blush Blush Blush Blush Blush Blush Blush Blush Blush Blush Blush Blush

I just met my best friend for a coffee, to give her her 30th Birthday present before she goes off for a childfree sexfest week in Mauritius with her DH as a 30th Birthday present Envy. I got her a pair of very naughty Agent Provocateur, knickers, karma sutra guide, hand cuffs, a feather boa, and this chocolatey lube stuff .I hasten to add this was intended as a joke, I actually got her a day at a spa. She unwrapped a boys top from Zara Kids, a small puzzle and a power ranger action doll thingy.

This means the 4 year old boy whose party my DT'S are at has unwrapped her present. Shock Shock Shock Shock Shock. I know for a fact it has been opened as there had been a small mix up with times, and they had to wait 10 minutes to be allowed into the soft play, and so when I was leaving the birthday boy's mum was calling them over to open presents to pass the time.

WHY did I use identical wrapping paper? But more importantly what do I do when I go to fetch them in an hour? Even worse, the whole of their nursery room was invited, plus a few other friends, the majority of which are there. Doubly doubly worse, I was the only mum/nanny to leave, so they will all know.

HELP

OP posts:
supernoodlesrock · 04/01/2011 15:27

If she really is that uptight check you get all of your friends presents back, she may have kept the lube and karma sutra to help her unwind after the party. :o

Hilarious, please update!

LoopyLoopsOfSparklyFairyLights · 04/01/2011 15:27

Well! This will be a day to remember! I would love it if I were the mum, and wouldn't want to swap I think (sizes depending).

cheezyquaver · 04/01/2011 15:30

eagerly awaiting an update!

TheLimeFairy · 04/01/2011 15:32
Grin
GoAwaySnow · 04/01/2011 15:34

Marking my place for THE update!

Original poster
bambiandthumper · 04/01/2011 15:35

FUCKWANKTITSBOLLOKS

I don't have my phone so am using BF's. I just went through her address book and found the number of a mum at the party who I don't know that well. I gave her a ring and she said PFB's mum realised what it was after a few minutes and took it away. She had to take the feather boa off one little girl who then got very upset, luckily they discarded the book as 'can't read' and the handcuffs were taken away before anyone got locked together. She doesn't know what happened with the knickers. However.....admist this confusion lube got left behind. 5 minutes ago some of the children were coming out of the ball pit covered in brown stuff, and they assumed one of PFB's siblings nappy's had leaked. Much worse, it was the lube. The ball pit is now closed and staff are hosing off each ball. Birthday mother is not amused, apparently everyone else is giggling quietly.

I am leaving to go there now. I don't think I will return.

OP posts:
squashedfrogs · 04/01/2011 15:38

OMG Shock You have my sympathy!

squashedfrogs · 04/01/2011 15:38
Grin
MmeLindt · 04/01/2011 15:38

ROFL

I hear that Australia is lovely this time of year.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 04/01/2011 15:38

I dunno if this is true or not, nor do I care. I salute you Xmas Grin

Eglu · 04/01/2011 15:39

OMG! I have just read this. I feel for you, I really do. Big apologies needed to the Birthday monther.

samay · 04/01/2011 15:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

stealthsquiggle · 04/01/2011 15:39

OMG.

Is moving house/school/county/country an option?

nigglewiggle · 04/01/2011 15:40

Is this a plotline from the next series of Vicar of Dibley? Wink

DooinMeCleanin · 04/01/2011 15:40
Grin

You'll laugh about this in a few hundred years op.

Good luck with the collection. I'd be sending my sister instead.

Boudoiricca · 04/01/2011 15:41

Good one. You had me going up to here Biscuit

gregssausageroll · 04/01/2011 15:42

Sounded funny until the ball pit! I smell a wind up!

ShatnersBassoon · 04/01/2011 15:42

Oh dear, I think the pudding has been well and truly over-egged.

MilkNoSugarPlease · 04/01/2011 15:43

I'll find some information on emigrating for you :o

droves · 04/01/2011 15:43

oh bambi !

I have only one thought .... this is stuff legends are made off . its defo one to tell your future grandchildren (when they are adults).

Send someone else to collect kids !.

scarletbegonia · 04/01/2011 15:44

really ? Hmm

ChippyMinton · 04/01/2011 15:47

Totally plausible up to the ball pit. Those things never get cleaned Grin

glastocat · 04/01/2011 15:48

This can't be for real, but if it is, it's amazing! Grin

jumpingjackhash · 04/01/2011 15:48

PMSL - true or not, the very thought of this has brightened my first day back at work post-Christmas!

nickelbabyjesus · 04/01/2011 15:49

I love the way that the brown stuff being lube is worse than it being a leaky nappy Grin

oh dear

if it makes you feel any better, OP, I once sent a rude book to a customer instead of a toy (and a toy to the customer awaiting the rude book). Toy recipient was gracious, rude book recipient was not happy - apparently 6yo DD opened it as it was for her little brother. Blush.
i was mortified.
(item they received was book-shaped, though - can only assume parent forgot what pressie he'd bought...)