Teachers. Admit it. This is a perk of the job isn't it?

[pagwatch]

Just got dds work home as she finishes this week.

In the bag are some things that are mounted and have clearly been on the wall either in the classroom or (gulp) the main corridors or halls.

In one she provides a slice of homelife which is mighty embarrassing and makes us sound like total wankers. She also talks about drinking wine. She is 8.

You find these things don't you, with a silent shout of glee. I have believed this since my mother told me about turning up at my school and on the wall was a picture I had drawn of her and dad 'playing in the bath'.

Come on. You might as well admit it....

and

[ruby1234]

My son wrote in his book :

When my mummy drops me at school, she rushes off to go and see Mr Boston every day. Mr Boston has brown hair and my mummy kisses him. Mummy and Mr Boston have been to Scotland for the weekend and had a party. My mummy takes Mr Boston sweeties. My daddy doesn't like Mr Boston much because Mr Boston kicked my daddy and so my daddy smacked him on the nose. My mummy loves Mr Boston and I like him too.

Underneath the teacher wrote something like 'very nice writing'.

What my son failed to say was that Mr Boston is a racehorse, and the trip to Scotland was for a race.

Worse, it had been written some time ago, and I can only imagine his teacher in that intervening time watching me drop him at school and rush off and her thinking I was having an affair!

[QueenofLouisiana]

In my first year of teaching, in a very strict RC school, I taught a little boy who told me that his daddy had needed the loo while he was in the bath last night. When he had finished Daddy had needed to scratch his scrotum. (His words, not mine). I didn't know where to look at parents evening!

[likklemum]

My favourite piece of work that I marked from last year.
I aksed my mum if I could go to the faire. She said 'you cunt!'
A bit of a harsh response (was supposed to say can't and was a frequent mistake during this piece of work!)

[FraterculaArctica]

In reverse: when I was at primary school, my mum once asked me what our teacher did while we were getting on with the work he had set us. My reply? 'He sits at his desk and twiddles his thumbs'.

[tasteslikechicken]

One youngster I worked with called me a philiopede. A member of staff then corrected him by saying "I think what you mean is paedophile, and you're right TLC is a paedophile!!" The idiot then went on to explain the derivation of paedophile, I.e. love & children. Don't know who was most horrified/scared, me or the youngster

[Juvenilesuccess]

Year 10 (I would have been 15). Teacher asked where I lived and when I replied she said "oh dear, there's a lot of rape in the fields there". I looked at her jaw agape and muttered that I didn't think that was the case. She persisted that she wouldn't walk through the fields. Silence followed in which the realisation hit us both that she meant the plant (she suffered from hay fever) and that I thought she meant sexual assault. I was mortified - worse, she was a psychology teacher so I was left to wonder what she'd read into my misunderstanding!!

[oldfatandtired1]

When the kids were young I worked as a freelance TV producer. When asked to write about his parents' jobs my son wrote 'Daddy takes the train to work and Mummy watches television all day . . . '

[eden263]

When my DH & I split up, I moved to a new area with the children. It was only after several months of funny looks that I found out DS1 (then 4) had told everyone at school that his dad was in prison!

[AtticusMcPlatypus]

When my DD was in reception I went in to meet with the class teacher who had great pleasure in showing me a picture my DD had drawn. They were asked to draw their favourite thing and DD had drawn a picture of Fizz from the Tweenies, with a large, pink caption declaring, 'Fizz is my fart', her 5 yo way of spelling favourite apparently.