D'ya ever wonder how many pine needles you can hand pick from a carpet?

[devondoris]

Look, look! Not only am I here, but I've started a new thread!

Hi everyone,
Well took two x-rays then told me due to the Christmas backlog it will take two weeks for the result ot get to my gp! It is sore tonight and I feel fed up!Also DH went to the doc today, he would kill me if he knew I was telling this, but he has been losing blood from you know where, back, since August, has in the past suffered from the dreaded piles, but he now spends most of the day and night in the loo, after living with him for 30 years you notice these things! He also drinks too much, he never ever gets drunk, but he will have 4 large and I mean large, G&Ts or whiskeys, followed by a couple of glasses of wine every night, and if he thinks I am not around will sneak a brandy. He has always enjoyed a drink but it is escalating, and is affecting our home life in all ways. He is soooooo grumpy in the evenings, we never go out, it is getting me down. Some of my friends think I am hard on him, they say it must be hard having young children at our age, they also say it could be because he has never openly talked about how he feels about Matthew. It <strong>is</strong> hard, but I am no spring chicken either, and I do try to make allowances, but there are some things that we just cannot change so have to get on with it. Anyway I ended up making him an appt, he went today, what he doesnt know is that I sent the doctor a leetter, telling him everything,, because I know he will not tell him the truth, esp about the alcohol. He would be soooo angry if he knew. I have been worried sick for months, our life has been such a rollercoaster for the last 14 years, I want it to start getting better, to stop longing for what I cannot have, to enjoy what I do have. This year is a hurdle, Matthew will have been gone 14yrs, the same amount of time he was here, I find that very sad and frightening. This year we will have been married 30 years,30 years and I feel we are in such a mess. The children are beautiful and special, but boy are they challenging, most nights we feel we are losing the plot with them. What is it going to be like when we have three teenagers in the house, I am in my 60s and he is in his 70s?? Everyone says to me, "you wait until they are teenagers", please God they will be, I am soooooo afraid that history will repeat itself. Oh golly, I did not mean to say all this, feel so frustrated with it all, though for sure I have survived worse. Good job I can still

Right I am off to bed, feel exhausted so hopefully will sleep, smell of eau de deep heat, and red hot bean bag n my shoulder!

Triplets I can empathise with the alcohol thing - I have a close relative who has a similar reliance on it but will not admit it and am ashamed to say that I think I too could go that way if I wasnt careful! Said relative can easily polish off a few spirits, then a bottle of wine and some whiskies, be coherent but obviously tipsy and do that night after night after night. It is hard to approach someone like this with the truth as they dont believe that they have a problem, and I have never approached said relative about it as I am too much of a wimp. My heart goes out to you though, when is his doctor's appointment?

34 weeks today. Eeekk!! I have started to itch all over especially my shins and arms. Is this something to worry about? Also my legs seem to be a bit swollen - ankles have been fat for a while. Poss coz I am getting close ?

MErly I had loads of itching throughout - I used Aqueous cream in the end which helped a lot, although didnt take it away entirely of course!

Thank you both for your words of support. He saw the doctor yesterday at 5pm, came thru the door and poured the first of 4 large gins! He said that they had talked but he avoided the subject of alcohol! Anyway he drank as normal last night and phoned this morning for his urgent blood test and had to go at 11am, so I was glad because if he had had warning he would have laid off the drink! He gets his result next Mon,so, we will see. But thank you for being there, when I sit here at night my head is full of everything.

Triplets, fingers crossed for a good prognosis for your DH, it sounds like a really really tough time for you at the mo.

My dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer last year, and also drinks waaaay too much most evenings. Fortunately they have caught the prostate very early on and don't need to do anything until it changes / worsens, and it is one of the easiest to treat, with a very good success rate (not meaning that this is what your DH has but I know that bleeding can be a sign of it).

He has also been told to cut down drastically on his drink intake as was having some liver tests done, and was told to cut it out completely for four weeks while the tests were being carried out. He lasted less than half of that and then laughed when he said he drank two bottles of red wine because he was so fed up. I had a BIG go at him. I don't think he realises others do worry.

Anyhow, all liver tests came back ok, so he still drinks too much. Relief all was ok, but it means he will never change his ways. He is 73 and I think he just thinks he is entitled to "do as he pleases". However, he does not have three young children depending on him, just me and my sis who are both married with children of our own.

Your DH needs to realise that you both find life tough, and that it is unfair to expect you to keep everything together, esp when such a momentous anniversary is coming up in June.

Sorry, very long ramble that was not necessarily very relevant to you .

Good news, my stomach bug seems to have gone. I have managed to eat a large quantity of chocolate today with no ill effect .

Can someone remind me of the things I need to prepare / do on Friday night to get these babies out on Saturday?

Sex
10 fresh pineapples
curries / spicy food
long energetic walks
Nipple stimulation

(to be honest, the only one I could even think about doing of those is the pineapple).

Any other tips?

Egg - have I missed something - why do you want to get them out on Saturday?

Weeeeeell, I will be 37 weeks, so they are nicely cooked.

DH works in the City of London, and we live in Winchester, so don't want to go into labour when he is at work as last labour was 4 hours start to finish and it will take him nearly 2 hours to get home / to hospital from work.

Only moved here in August. Have no family nearer than two hours away. Have small DS who I would rather not take with me, although will of course if I have to.

Basically, if I go into labour when DH is at work, I will have to call an ambulance to take me and DS in, as I can't risk waiting and although have had offers of help from neighbours, cannot guarantee they will be available to take DS and / or get me to hospital.

Sunday is also acceptable!

If not out by following weekend I will be induced.

aha that all makes sense now! My DH was working away in London when I was pregnant with DD and I was petrified that I would go into labour when he wasnt here. I had him back late at night a couple of times as I thought I was in labour, but both were false alarms. In the end he stayed at home from 38 weeks with me and was there thankfully when it all kicked off on a Wednesday, luckily a day that the DTs were in nursery!!

I was induced with my DTs at 39.5 weeks, have they given you a date for it if you dont go into labour naturally?

Thankfully DH does come home each night. He can't take any time off beforehand as he is self employed and wont get paid and we need EVERY PENNY. However my mum has offered to come and stay NOW if we want her to, but I feel that she might end up being here two weeks before anything happens which is a bit dull for her, esp as she will stay for a week or so after DH goes back to work.

I saw the consultant last Thursday and he said he was pretty sure I would go into labour naturally within the two weeks, but, at my request as well as his own recommendation, said that when I come for my next appt (Thurs 17 Jan) they will give me a date for induction which would be within a few days.

I don't even mind giving birth without DH there to be honest! Just don't want DS to be too disrupted. Actually worst scenario is going into labour towards end of day when he is at nursery, and not be able to get there to collect him.

Shit, I really had better get DS out of bed! He will never sleep tonight otherwise.

egg - I can really relate to this - I wasn't bothered about me or dts but was worried about ds1 and how everything would affect him.

Everything was fine in the end, I was induced at 38 weeks and they arrived within 12 hours

Well I figure nothing really bad is going to happen to DS. And my mum has suggested keeping a front door key in DS's nursery bag so that if by some horrendous stroke of luck I go into extreme labour just before DS is due to be collected then I am sure one of the nursery staff would be able to bring him home. It is only 5 mins walk max and they are very helpful and always offering to do things.

Feel so much better today I feel almost human. Not felt human in ages......... Prob because I got lots of sleep last night and have done very little today despite having DS here all day, plus stomach is back to being ok, but I haven't overeaten like I often do, so don't feel bleurgh.

How is T&T, any recent news on those little gorgeous babies?

Hi Egg,
Thanks for your posting, sometimes I wonder if I am the one being selfish, I feel pig in the middle at times, trying to keep everyone happy. Keep threatening to get an evening job, as nights here are usually difficult. Well I can do no more, wait and see what Mon brings, at least my shoulder feels a little better tonight. Glad you are feeling better, I think the pineapple sounds your best bet! Going to get to bed earlier tonight, start my book club book, Cold Comfort Farm, should be good, reading is a great passion of mine! Frumpy did you catch After Thomas?

Oh Triplets how awful for you, it must be so hard to have all this whooshing round your head. My father is a bit like Harry, drinks Stella with Whisky chasers most nights. He doesnt seem the harm even though he has high blood pressure and frequent 'numb' fingers. Sometimes i think a major scare would shock him out of it My ex used to be the same too, pints of G&T each night often followed by wine.

You need to make it clear to him what you are feeling even though that is easier said than done i know. When you have battled through the day, managed to get the kids to bed and are thinking about tea for yourself the last thing you want to do is start a potentially explosive discussion.

Perhaps you could plan something special to do in June? That way Harry would know that it is playing on your mind. I know you have said before that he doesnt talk about it much, this may help him to?

Just ignore me if i'm waffling twoddle Love to you and i am always thinking of you and Matthew. It makes me grateful for everything i have

Egg...babies...soon...oh i can barely contain my excitment! Have you any names for the little cherubs yet? How is the itching? Keep an eye on it and if you feel it is getting worse then phone the midwife. That goes for the swelling too although i'm sure it all just because you are so near having them now.

I have changed no less than 10 nappies today, how many times can one baby poo!!!

HM i remember it well when you had dd and dh was away! It really does not seem like any time ago at all. How old is she now? I have not had a snuggle for ages >

oh triplets I hope he sorts himself out. It must make it so much harder to bear the loss of Matthew when you can't share your feelings with Harry.

meely I itched so much, for most of the 3rd trimester IIRC

Egg, how can you even mention sex and being imminent with twins in the same month let alone post I hope the pineapple does the trick

DH has wound me up this week, just by being a bloke, disorganised, late home, having fun with DTs leaving me to do the crappy naggy mum stuff - I have to bite my tongue to stop myself constantly pointing out that I work ft too and earn the same as him, and I hate my job

I have been driven to eating crisps this evening, which makes me really as I managed to lose a few pounds last week

Egg will be praying you go into labour naturally. What about acupuncture? Reflexology etc?

Trip.... love you! You do fantastically. I'm sorry MrTrip drinks (for whatever reason) and as to the teenage years... I have 2. Think I prefer it to the toddler years (I have 2). sigh...........

T&T.... where are you woman? Babes must be going through a growth spurt!

I am positively rubbing my hands together with glee at the thought of them all becoming teenagers. Crazy i'm sure but i just find the twins so very entertaining at the moment, the older they get the more i relate to them and find them engaging inredibly funny people. I cant wait to see what happens next in the development stakes.

One of them picked up a Simpons 'all about life' book from a charity shop. I nearly banned it until dh pointed out it was nt actually that bad and nothing that they probably dont know already It had a whole section on 'what your parents think', the Dads were sex, womens willies , cars The women were laundry, and worrying about what everyone else was doing\feeling and a teeny tiny sex bit! Sounded quite true to me, so Bart Simpson an insightful chap?

I too have managed to lose some weight but had a pack of Doritos lastnight....

I too was feeling quite slim.......however,kids are now back at school and there are two tins of celebration chocolates still open on the table beside the computer.
Been kidding myself that they are only small,not really big bars and don't countthing is I'm sure now that the amount I have been picking on probably adds up to a foot of chocolate,length and width!!!!

I had managed to lose 2 stone, but my aunt gave me a lovely box of M&S belgian chocolate biscuits which I am (not so slowly) working my way through .

May I let off some steam before I explode? I re-booked our wedding date yesterday for a date when my DB and SIL can look after the girls for the weekend so we can have a brief honeymoon. We've decided to completely scale down our plans and are just inviting our parents (and their partners in my case - I can't stand my dad's wife but I'm really fond of my mum's partner, so want him there) and our best friends as witnesses. And the girls of course. So I rang my dad today to tell him and of course they can't do that day because they're on holiday . Now I know it sounds unreasonable to be pissed off about that, but we moved the date last year because of another of their holidays and they take at least 8 holidays each year. I don't begrudge him enjoying his old age but I want to get married and I want to do it soon and GRRRRRRRRR [v. pissed off emoticon].

Anyway, I've asked him to email me a list of their holiday dates so I can try and fit in around him. But in the meantime I'm fed up and my best mate's out so I can't rant to her, so I'm ranting to you! Anyway, rant over .

Triplets, so sorry to hear of your troubles. Hope the deep heat did the trick for you last night.

Not sure how I feel about the teenage years to be honest - will have 3 hormonal girls stomping around...and DP thinks he's going to have to take out another mortgage for the shoe mountain that is bound to appear .

Ok, now I'm feeling v. sheepish. Dad phoned back 10 mins later to say they'd moved their holiday and so the date was now free! I was suitably apologetic for being so grumpy and v. grateful. So now just have to hope DP's mum can make it .

Triplets, I can't get much pc time atm. But I wanted to post and say I will come back as soon as I can and post properly. Harry is not facing up to his life in general and is masking his feelings behind a glass. The good news is that that doesn't mean its personal to you. Its incredibly hard for you though. Remember I mentioned I need a life laundry.........everything needs to change. Where are you with the house move?