d'y ever wonder when u will feel human again?

[Meeely2]

hows that girls?

If you decide to part Meeely he should leave the house, not you!

Wish wish wish I could make it better for you!

Happy Birthday LG&T

ah but mars, he's an unreasonable w*nker, so if i want him out of my life, leaving may be the only option (he called me a child abuser once cos i said i had anger management issues and was going to see a councellor.....pot kettle black!)

i wouldn't want to stop him seeing the boys, they adore him, and he them, but i just find it hard thinking they are anywhere near the top of his priority list when he pulls a stunt like friday and then expects me to be ok with it.

I am my own worst enemy, i am not a whingy moaning wife, he does pretty much what he wants and as such, so do i - we share the kids, we share our social lives. we have no family local, so we take it in turns to go out and stay in to baby sit....our home/work/family life seemed well balanced - i wasn't hard done by and neither was he.....so i guess he saw no reason why i would object. But i'm not his fooking mother, why should i be setting him boundaries - he's a grown up, he has kids, why could he just say NO to the drugs - thats £40 he could have spent on US and it went up his nose instead...........GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I think you need to go to counselling babe. I still think that you should stay put. But first.... try the counselling and see if that helps.

i have an apt on 28th with CBT, will mention it there and see what he says (poor bloke always looks like a rabbit caught in headlights when i turn up)

Happy Birthday LG&T!!!! Oh to be 30 again.....

Meeely I'm so sorry you're having such a crap time. I wish I could help, but in the meantime, as Mars says, this is the place where we offload all our ups and downs, no need to hide them somewhere else. Thinking of you.

Mars - I've emailed you!

LG&T I'm sorry I missed your birthday! Hope you had a good day,welcome to your 30s (ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaa witch-like laugh - only doing it because I will be 35 on Thursday)

Meely - I just finished reading your thread and dont have any advice to offer as dont have any experience with it but just to let you know we are thinking of you and post away if you need support, thats why we are all here.

thanks all - talking to SIL today/this evening for some advice. so easy to sweep it under the carpet and carry on like i don't care, but i guess i need to be strong. If (d)h's attitude about drugs is so laid back (emily, you don't know what its like as you've never taken them, so you are not entitled to an opinion - we not talking about some unknown food here are we!), how can i be sure he won't be encouraging the boys when they are older. he crumbles under peer pressure all the time, does not have his own mind - how will i know he not telling the boys it's 'cool' to take drugs and that they won't have any friends if they don't???

What hurts is that he values his mates opinions (half of which are still single, the others are having affairs) more than mine. I say I don't like it, he says, ok, i appreciate that, but i still gonna do it, i say why, he says cos he likes it????? so i'm way down the priority list then?

sigh

Meely, having seen my friend's husband turn into an aggressive, twisted individual down to his coke addiction, I would only say that you need to do something proactive sooner rather than later. You can always get another job, your kids can go to another nursery. What's important is your family's wellbeing.

I'm going camping this weekend. For three days. Why did I let myself get talked into it? Bet it chucks it down with rain.

HELP MEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

Goes off to buy some wellies.

thing is he hasn't 'turned into' a twisted and aggressive individual, he's always been that way. He was NICE while taking the coke on friday and it's made me see what i could have if only he'd get help to feel like that without drugs.....

He has deep rooted issues, none of which are my fault, but its up to him to sort that out. He can't expect people to tolerate him for much longer the way he is, we can only take so much......

thanks mommalove - sitting here, suddenly come over all weary - really looking forward to an H free night, he rugby training, i can soak in bath and go to bed early.

menageriekeeper - i hope you buying GIRLY wellies!

i'm reading the devil wears prada at mo - plus my bathroom is all but finished so a very restful place to be.....the dt's bought me a bath caddy for my birthday last year - it has candle holders a wine glass holder and a book stand with things that keep your pages open - heaven

this

mommalove u have to believe that life will be fine even after DT's arrival! For example, mine are 2.8 and I have every evening 'to myself' i.e. sans kids, its been like this since before they were 1. You will have YOU time, you will have YOU and dh time.

Admittedly i work full time, so house doesn't get messy, we don't use very much crockery, so my evenings are not spent cleaning the days mess. BUT my DT's have started calling me by the nursery school teachers name when they get over excited .

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz dh not training tonite now, will have bath anyway, all my ironing is done......

LG&T, happy birthday for yesterday, HM, happy birthday for Thursday. I'd make celebration lemon drizzle cakes and things except I can't - you'll have to wait for FG......FRUMPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Meely, just....aargh! What a crazy situation to be in, life should not be like that EVER. Wish I was nearby to offer whatever help I could. Do keep venting on here though, it really helps to get it out of your system and hear the support of people around you, even if it is only typed words .

Time for my own rant.....
My SPD is hurting me sooo much and I don't know whether the two are connected or I'm getting confused with different types of pain, but I'm sure its causing me to contract. Started about 24 hours ago and can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes without everything seeming to tighten up, but its okay again when I lie down. Dunno, maybe the baby's moved into an awkward position, or maybe the SPD has just spread from the back of my pelvis to the front and the pain is similar to contractions...........anyway, not getting much done today other than folding washing, making dinner and breaking up fights. Poor children are all DVDed out!

Meely, only managed to find boring green wellies. All the funky ones had sold out, cos everyone was buying them for the V festival last week. What I was saying earlier - my friend's hubby started off nice, but as the addiction took hold, he became a different person completely.

Estar, sounds like braxtons, and you may possibly be overdoing it a little. I'd have a chat with the midwife.