Hi girls, sorry its a bit tense atm for you Bibi, every week will make a difference. I think I'd push for another scan.
I'm up tight and strung up today. Sorry, I didn't want to go off without posting but neither did I want to post a rant......
I'm not sure I'll get back on for more than a tiny bit after this, DP is on his way home from London and we leave very early Saturday. We'll be gone all of July so I will miss you all like mad.
I am not really looking forward to our holiday if truth be told. My three are just bickering constantly. It is a constant stream of crying, hitting, "I'm telling mum", screaming. I'm sure the DTs don't like each other, they would fight over fresh air. I leave one room to find a trail of destruction elsewhere. I can't get peace to pee let alone tie up all the loose ends. I want to scream "piss off and leave me alone" every time someone walks into my line of sight.
DD has brought home the year's worth of worksheets and projects from school. I do like to keep some but haven't currently got time to sort it out. Its the DTs birthday two days after we get home and I thought I'd have everything bought and wrapped by now - its not even been thought about let alone bought.
I'm trying to quell a desire to change all the beds and clean the house from top to toe. I know its mad but I always feel better if I've done stuff like that. Its like preparing for not coming back but there is a strange thing inside that gives me peace if this kind of stuff is done. And I just can't do it. I just have no time left.
I'm dreading being away. My parents will join us and although they are great, they never stop trying to sort things for my children and thus no-one gets a break. Sometimes I just stand back and let the kids sort it out and they fall into a game that way. My parents do all-singing, all-dancing and its exhausting.
Just while I'm moaning on my mum is adorable but always outshines me at birthdays and Christmas. I don't have the same time to choose stuff for my children - she chooses fabulous stuff and it all comes themed in matching paper etc......and always much, much more than I buy. It makes me feel shit. I tell her and tell her and it never changes.
And lastly, DT1 is sleeping so, so badly. She always has but lately its even worse. We moved the DTs into beds 2 weeks ago and DT2 made the transition fairly seamlessly. He was found in the upstairs hall one night just after lights out but not since. DT1 is a nightmare. Last night after my attempted early night she had me up and down like a flipping yoyo. Last week, I had to remove every soft toy from her room and remove the softglow night light thing (she's a bit scared of the dark) as she was just out of bed all night from midnight on. Now she screams and shouts from her bed (but doesn't get up, small mercy) for hours. She has a sore bit, she needs a wee, she has wet pull ups (potty trained day but not dry at night), she has a cough. She is generally exhausted but just doesn't seem to be able to get back over to sleep after waking.
DD is 6.5 but suddenly a teenager. She has had some blackheads on the side of her nose (already????) and has Attitude. She is horrible, an embarrassment to have outside the house and I hate it.
AND TO TOP IT ALL, I FEEL 45 STONE, I HAVE TO GET TO TOWN TOMORROW TO FINISH OFF SHOPPING FOR ODDS AND ENDS AND, AND, AND, I NEED TO SHAVE MY LEGS.
There. And breathe. Happy bloody holidays. This is why I like staying in, at home 365 days a year. Don't even like myself anymore.