Went through our finances and we're fucked.

If you ask for extra 10 a week pop that into one of your tins.
If you can get extra 20 or 30 pop it into each tin so you know you won't have huge Xmas issues you will instead have A good few £100 to pull on

You'll get better advice on the money saving expert forums.

Look up snowballing. It's about throwing as much as you can at the highest interest debt, clearing and then moving onto the next one.

I think MSE will help you see you are not the only person in this position. Some of the debt free Wanabee diaries show exactly what people in very similar positions have managed.

The situation now is not good but it's also not insurmountable. It's a terrible time to get a mortgage anyway.

Spend the next couple of years getting rid of it and putting yourself on a better financial footing then see where life takes you.

Also agree with selling stuff. I have sold loads on ebay/Facebook.

Anything you make keep for Christmas.

But do not get sidetracked with that right now, get onto the Step Change website first. The relief you will feel will be immense.

At the moment lots of people have a glut of home produce - we've given away tomatoes galore, beans, peppers, beetroot, onions. I've gained apples, plums and other things we don't grow.
There are apps like Olio for short expiry goods. And if you have the time, learn when the yellow tickets get put on at the supermarkets. I once had a freezer full of salmon steaks I got for under £1.
Keep your eyes peeled on local FB groups for free produce surplus like this, and also look on Freecycle for stuff for Christmas.
I'd explain to all your kids it'll be a low budget Christmas and see if you can get fun stuff rather than expensive stuff.

It looks like your kids are old enough to be on board with this.

Our kids are 13 & 15 & they are capable of doing vinted sales independently. I do drive them to various places for posting though as local coop only does evri.

You need to ask eldest for a bit more. I would suggest £250?

We're always upfront with ours & will just tell them we can't afford things. So they know that if they need something they may have to just wait a few weeks.

Do you work in early years? Or are you SAHM?

Hope not posting means you finally got to sleep, OP.

Almost everyone has given you good advice, and ignore the horrible posters just out to have a go at you to make themselves feel superior.

I’d echo the advice to go to Moneysavingexpert’s Debt Free Wannabe forum. They are brilliantly supportive and the trolls are very few and far between. They will give practical advice, but they will also simply cheer you on and share their own stories to make you feel less alone and more powerful.

If you and your DH are on the same page you have definitely got this.

You already have a ccj. Bankruptcy could be your friend here.

Debt snowball.

pay minimum payments plus £1 on all debts except the one with the highest interest/most pressing (which I believe is ct) on this one pay what you need to.

when the highest interest is paid move those funds onto the next highest and continue paying minimum plus £1 on the rest. One at a time. Chip away.

Agree with all other posters.

Understand which debts are the priority - the ones that are growing fastest in real terms, these need paid off first, as big a chunk as you can manage every month.

Continue to service the other debts as much as you can, once the worst paid off you can tackle the others. Pay as much as you can to clear these while paying your bills by direct debit every month so you don’t continue to build debt.

Christmas etc your oldest kids will be able to understand why you need to scale back and this will be an excellent lesson for them as they learn to manage their own money / dangers of credit etc. Get the whole family to have a big sort out and sell online. Set a budget for Christmas including food / drink - this comes out of the money you have made from selling on EBay / Vinted and no more.

Part time work babysitting etc will help clear debt faster. Grit your teeth and do it. Kids old enough to be in the house without you a few hours of an evening.

Delete accounts from Amazon - it’s often false economy. Get rid of prime etc, reduce temptation.

Go through all your subscriptions and agree which you will keep.

You should be able to manage clearing these debts over time on your income but you need to be sensible and organised and stop spending on everything but essentials now and pay off as much as you can every month. It’s not nice but it’s worth it. And those things you used to buy because you could quickly become nice treat items for birthdays and Christmas - my partner and I gave each other a Christmas stocking one year of all the nice treat bits we had given up (posh shampoo, nice makeup, chocolate) as we couldn’t afford a big present.

This is a really useful list to work through slowly to cull £ from your monthly budget : https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/money-help/

Also read 'The year of less' by Cait Flanders recently (from the library so no spend!) It may help with thinking about your spending mindset and how to reset that.

You aren’t fucked.

Fucked is higher outgoings than incoming

You have that. Stick with it and outgoings will reduce as debts go down.

so what?

Not an IVA!!! Unless you have a property or asset to protect,I think option one for you will be a Debt Relief Order: PLEASE get free impartial advice (stepchange/Citizens Advice/Christians Against Poverty), Iva's have a cost involved that you don't need right now .

How much does your 19 year old earn. Their contribution seems low.

Can you do some tuition? Working on Saturday would help a lot.

How much do you usually spend on the kids at Christmas? Is that an easy thing to save money on.

I agree with others, get as much stuff on Vinted. Also could you get a little cleaning job in your spare time cash in hand?

Interest can be the killer. It can build up so quickly. I know that from experience.

Good advice on here.

You are not screwed - just a little off kilter! Your income exceeds your expenses. This is brilliant! Plus hubby is about to get a pay rise. You just need a budget and everyone needs to be on board

1. write down every single monthly expense you have. Rent utilities Council tax food TV license streaming insurances your debt minimum payments the works. Include a fun money budget for you and your husband- this is your money to have date night or buy a fancy conditioner or whatever
2. list all your annual expenses eg mot, car insurance, Christmas, birthdays, holidays and what you need overall for each category - divide by 12. This is your sinking funds. You are saving for that expense throughout the year so it's not such a shock. However for this year things like Christmas you don't have 12 months to save for, you only have 3-4 months depending on when you all get paid so divide your budget for this year by the no of pay checks left before Christmas. Likewise if your MOT is due in February, divide your budget by 6 months
3. see what you can slash and burn. Get rid of subscriptions you don't use. Get better deals on things you need to keep.
4. revise your budget with the reduced costs.
5. take your revised budget away from your income (yours, hubby's plus sons contributions) will give you a surplus
6. use your surplus to build an emergency fund of £1,000 - this should cover most emergencies like locks needing changed or the car breaking down
7. once your emergency fund is fully funded, list your debts from smallest balance to highest
8. put your surplus towards the smallest balance so you are paying your minimum payment plus an extra payment every month towards that debt and get it gone. Then move onto next smallest debt and add the min payment plus surplus being paid on the now gone smallest debt to the minimum payment on the second smallest debt till that's paid off and so on and so forth till all debt is gone. Without additional income coming in , I reckon you will be debt free within about 3 years.
9. once debt free, save 3-6 months of expenses then start saving for your house (remember this won't take long because you have freed up tons of money from not having to service debt every month). Put your own house on your goal list - I reckon you could have one in 4-5 years so that the only debt you have is your mortgage
10. if either you or hubby can take on a second job even if only seasonal to help pay for Christmas it will accelerate your way right out of this. Good luck - you have totally got this!

You have had amazing advice . This is MN at its best !
I know someone has mentioned Vinted . Can I just agree with that . One of my DDs is going through a tough time and sells loads on Vinted . She has 2 DCs and once they grow out of something it is washed and put up for sale . So many people are looking for inexpensive items and it really mounts up . Good luck 💐

Oh and I think your eldest should contribute more .

Another vote for the MoneySavingExpert forums, they have been an amazing source of help and advice for me.

They describe this moment of realising things really can't go on like this as your 'light bulb moment'. It's awful to have that feeling, but things can get better. Wishing you all the best

If they are the best kids then they will understand that you cannot afford Xmas and birthday presents. We didn't have any for many years because my parents were in a similar position.