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Original poster

Went through our finances and we're fucked.

431 replies

ClusterFukt · 02/09/2023 00:34

Unfuckably fucked.
£14900 in unsecured debt
£4500 income pm
£4232 outgoing pm

3 kids at home
no hope of saving for a deposit
credit rating through the floor
DMP’s and IVAs will fuck us even more and mean No hope getting a mortgage ever.

not much hope of getting a better job because of mental health/ADHD

totally stuck and I don’t know where to start,
Have been burying my head in the sand for literally years. Consequences of that are now apparent [redacted by MNHQ]

OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
Original poster
ClusterFukt · 02/09/2023 01:26

Biscuitandacuppa · 02/09/2023 00:55

Ok so what can you look at in your budget to cut back?

TV, broadband, mobile, subscriptions, music (Spotify/Amazon), hobbies?

Write a budget, plan your meals for the week and only buy the food you need, if you buy branded food swap to supermarket own brand. Walk instead of driving short distances, switch off all non-essential electrics if not being used.

Have a look at your debt and either target the smallest debt and overpay whatever you can afford (even small amounts will make a difference) or target the one with the highest interest as the quicker you can bring the balance
down the less you will over pay.

Christmas, I’ve been skint before and I’ve bought secondhand presents from eBay with a few cheap extras (colouring sets etc). How old are your kids? If they are past the Santa age then have an honest discussion with them. Explain money is tight and this year won’t be a bumper Xmas. My dd is 12 and aware that I have a budget and we can’t overspend in that or we will be eating beans by the end of the month!

Sorry I meant to reply. I can cut Amazon prime delivery and Apple Music and paramount plus. We shop in lidls mainly and budget £100 a week for that but we could probably cut back, I eat too much anyway. Kids are 19, 16 and 7. The older ones will understand I’m sure I just don’t want to tell them we’re struggling and worry them or make them feel bad. They are sweethearts

OP posts:
ReadingSoManyThreads · 02/09/2023 01:29

@ClusterFukt is the 19 yr old working? Studying full-time? If they have an income, could they contribute a small amount per month to the household to help? In addition to you cutting back on the unnecessary stuff (subscriptions you've listed etc.).

ZeroFucksGivenToday · 02/09/2023 01:30

Vinted is so easy. you literally list a price you want, and pick your parcel size.
clothes I literally send in taped up bin liners. No fancy packaging unless something breakable.
no printer needed either, pick the digital label option and then scan at the shop and get your label printed there.
post and wait for the buyer to receive it and say they are happy. Funds then land in your Vinted account, you can then transfer them to your bank.

Palindrone · 02/09/2023 01:31

But what are your essential outgoings? Surely less than £4232pcm?

I too was a chronic overspender and got myself out of way more debt than you're in with a lower income.

Original poster
ClusterFukt · 02/09/2023 01:34

ReadingSoManyThreads · 02/09/2023 01:29

@ClusterFukt is the 19 yr old working? Studying full-time? If they have an income, could they contribute a small amount per month to the household to help? In addition to you cutting back on the unnecessary stuff (subscriptions you've listed etc.).

Yes he works and contributes £160
per month.

OP posts:
Original poster
ClusterFukt · 02/09/2023 01:36

ZeroFucksGivenToday · 02/09/2023 01:30

Vinted is so easy. you literally list a price you want, and pick your parcel size.
clothes I literally send in taped up bin liners. No fancy packaging unless something breakable.
no printer needed either, pick the digital label option and then scan at the shop and get your label printed there.
post and wait for the buyer to receive it and say they are happy. Funds then land in your Vinted account, you can then transfer them to your bank.

That does sound easy. I will try. Thank you

OP posts:
YetMoreNewBeginnings · 02/09/2023 01:38

For food budgeting have a look at tbt Feed your family for around £20 a week site.

They have really good meal plans and when I had to change how we shopped it really helped for a month or two to follow their plan as it comes with an exact shopping list.

I halved my shopping costs doing that, and even now that I don’t follow it the habits it formed are ingrained in my planning brain.

AnxietyLevelMax · 02/09/2023 01:38

I am so sorry you are struggling. Just know you are not alone and I also cannot sleep right now due to money worries…it is hard. But we will get through it. Step by step.

flutterby1 · 02/09/2023 01:40

Nat6999 · 02/09/2023 01:23

When I was skint, We lived out of the freezer one week a month. I shopped at cheap places like Farmfoods for as much as I could, then Aldi, I only bought absolute essentials from the more expensive supermarkets. Do you have a market where you could shop for meat, fish, fruit & veg? You can save money if you can, I had a butcher who had a lorry on the estate I lived on one morning a week, I used to try & buy meat packs that I could freeze. A pack usually had a kilo of beef mince, a roasting joint, pork chops, bacon & sausages, I could split the pack between probably 8 meals, split the mince in half, cook bolognaise & chilli with one half which started as bolognaise & then added spices & chilli for the second night, I always had some to freeze, then the other half I made burgers & shepherd's pie. The roasting joint did Sunday lunch, then Monday tea cold with chips & enough left for sandwiches, the sausages did two nights with either chips or mash, the pork chops did a mid week dinner with roast potatoes, stuffing, apple sauce, veg & gravy. With everything I bought from Farmfoods & Aldi plus the meat pack, I could feed me & ds for £100 a fortnight, we never went short, Friday night was pizza night, pizzas were only £1.50 from Farmfoods, garlic bread £1, so for £4 I could give us a treat night. Do you have a slow cooker? They are brilliant for cooking cheap meals. Look on moneysavingexpert.com for more ways to save money.

Love this idea Flowers

CallieQ · 02/09/2023 01:44

Ask your local CAB for advice

Original poster
ClusterFukt · 02/09/2023 01:45

Electric is £100 per month with £1400 debt
gas £170 per month £300 debt
CT £325 per month with £6080 debt
water £50 per month with £1500 debt
Screen shot attached

Went through our finances and we're fucked.
OP posts:
Original poster
ClusterFukt · 02/09/2023 01:47

Green means payment plan set up. Red means waiting or response from creditor about setting up a plan.
Green debts on the left I’ve set up £10 per month payments. Green debts on the right have the monthly payments stated above

OP posts:
Original poster
ClusterFukt · 02/09/2023 01:50

Nat6999 · 02/09/2023 01:23

When I was skint, We lived out of the freezer one week a month. I shopped at cheap places like Farmfoods for as much as I could, then Aldi, I only bought absolute essentials from the more expensive supermarkets. Do you have a market where you could shop for meat, fish, fruit & veg? You can save money if you can, I had a butcher who had a lorry on the estate I lived on one morning a week, I used to try & buy meat packs that I could freeze. A pack usually had a kilo of beef mince, a roasting joint, pork chops, bacon & sausages, I could split the pack between probably 8 meals, split the mince in half, cook bolognaise & chilli with one half which started as bolognaise & then added spices & chilli for the second night, I always had some to freeze, then the other half I made burgers & shepherd's pie. The roasting joint did Sunday lunch, then Monday tea cold with chips & enough left for sandwiches, the sausages did two nights with either chips or mash, the pork chops did a mid week dinner with roast potatoes, stuffing, apple sauce, veg & gravy. With everything I bought from Farmfoods & Aldi plus the meat pack, I could feed me & ds for £100 a fortnight, we never went short, Friday night was pizza night, pizzas were only £1.50 from Farmfoods, garlic bread £1, so for £4 I could give us a treat night. Do you have a slow cooker? They are brilliant for cooking cheap meals. Look on moneysavingexpert.com for more ways to save money.

Thank you this is very helpful I will try to do similar

OP posts:
guiltyfeethavegotnorythym · 02/09/2023 01:50

I have no special advice , but for you 💐 . Be that strong woman and do this , you can sort it .

Original poster
ClusterFukt · 02/09/2023 01:58

guiltyfeethavegotnorythym · 02/09/2023 01:50

I have no special advice , but for you 💐 . Be that strong woman and do this , you can sort it .

Thank you. I hope I can do it. My kids deserve so much better than this. They are the best kids and I can’t even do right by them financially. Awful mum.

OP posts:
Original poster
ClusterFukt · 02/09/2023 02:00

i promise I won’t step in front of a train I was just venting. I couldn’t wreck my children or husband like that. I can’t leave him to deal with everything and bringing up the kids.

OP posts:
Yellowshirt · 02/09/2023 02:01

@ClusterFukt . Please calm down. I've been in a similar situation and I nearly stepped in front of a train in 2019.
I've got 3 CCJS on my credit file but I've accepted them now and thats it.

Debt management companies who I owed money to really helped me. As long as I contacted them regularly and contributed something every month they were happy. They only chased me and my Ex wife if we weren't paying anything. Thats when they threatened bailiffs.

I also cut off most of my spending other than essentials but again I'm used to it now. I'm talking about cutting out on coffees and takeaways. You will be shocked how much you save.

One thing I did take a while to learn though is if one person decides they want to fix things and stop spending and there partner decides they won't change and stop splashing the cash you end up just going round in circles and not making progress . You need to speak to your husband and make sure your on the same wave length.

Honestly you can get through this. I'm debt free now having been in severe debt since April 2010.

Original poster
ClusterFukt · 02/09/2023 02:05

truthhurts23 · 02/09/2023 01:25

Debt Payoff Planner – The #1 App to Plan and Track Your Payoff here is the link, just change the setting to £, its free x

Show quote history

Thanks have downloaded it and going through it now

OP posts:
Original poster
ClusterFukt · 02/09/2023 02:11

Yellowshirt · 02/09/2023 02:01

@ClusterFukt . Please calm down. I've been in a similar situation and I nearly stepped in front of a train in 2019.
I've got 3 CCJS on my credit file but I've accepted them now and thats it.

Debt management companies who I owed money to really helped me. As long as I contacted them regularly and contributed something every month they were happy. They only chased me and my Ex wife if we weren't paying anything. Thats when they threatened bailiffs.

I also cut off most of my spending other than essentials but again I'm used to it now. I'm talking about cutting out on coffees and takeaways. You will be shocked how much you save.

One thing I did take a while to learn though is if one person decides they want to fix things and stop spending and there partner decides they won't change and stop splashing the cash you end up just going round in circles and not making progress . You need to speak to your husband and make sure your on the same wave length.

Honestly you can get through this. I'm debt free now having been in severe debt since April 2010.

Thank you. He is very much on the same page we had a good chat this evening and I showed him everything I’ve put together and all calculations and totals. We’ve promised eachother we’re going to cut out eating out, take always, buying stupid crap from Amazon etc. only essentials from now on.

those if you who got through this can I just say we’ll done and I am happy for you. I wouldn’t wish this feeling on my worst enemy. Thank you for all the insightful advice and reassurance. I hope to be in your shoes some day soon.

OP posts:
Original poster
ClusterFukt · 02/09/2023 02:12

Apologies for my spelling I haven’t slept for two days now. My thinking and spelling is mangled.

OP posts:
Yellowshirt · 02/09/2023 02:16

@ClusterFukt your doing yourself more harm not sleeping.

Most of the companies I owed money to were open Saturdays 8 to 12pm. Ring them and have an honest chat. Make sure you mention the CCJ. It will help them understand your struggling financially

Original poster
ClusterFukt · 02/09/2023 02:50

Yellowshirt · 02/09/2023 02:16

@ClusterFukt your doing yourself more harm not sleeping.

Most of the companies I owed money to were open Saturdays 8 to 12pm. Ring them and have an honest chat. Make sure you mention the CCJ. It will help them understand your struggling financially

You’re right. I just can’t relax enough to drop off. My heart is racing and I am so jumpy. I nearly dropped off after work earlier but jumped out of it and wide awake since.

OP posts:
VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 02/09/2023 02:53

Other people have said Moneysaving Expert.

Pay off the debt with the highest interest rate first. This might not be the largest debt. The higher the interest rate, the faster the debt will grow if you don't repay it.

If you are out of contract, consider whether you can switch mobile tariffs to a cheaper tariff. The MSE mobile tariff comparison tool often has a SIM-only Lyca deal for less than £1/month for the first six months, no minimum contract duration.

When selling stuff, don't use car boot sales because you end up buying more tat from other sellers.

If you can cook vegan food with green or brown lentils, they are cheap and healthy.

DragonFly98 · 02/09/2023 03:00

Get in touch with CAP they are fantastic with emotional and practical support.

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