Went through our finances and we're fucked.

Great idea. One of my teen grandkids is selling on Vinted. Keeps what she makes on her own stuff, gets a % of sales of other family members. Not a fortune, but its helping declutter too.

I know a friend who was in a similar situation and they found a charity that specifically helped with financial advice and how to manage it more efficiently. Could research that, was definitely based in London.

I saw your spreadsheet. I see you have some debts with Lowell and Cabot. I don't know about Cabot but Lowell don't charge interest on the debts so for those I'd pay the minimum for each (I think it might be £2) and then forget about those for now. They won't go up anymore.

I'd then look into interest rates on the others and then call them up and explain the situation. They might be able to do something, they might not but you can at least try.

Then you had a small one £83 I think it was, I think I'd sell things on vinted and then knock this one off as a quick win so it can be removed from the spreadsheet.

I didn’t want to read and run but in a very similar place. Been treading water for years. I don’t know what to do now everything is going up :(

hey op , did you say your Hubbie is a police officer? He needs to reach out to the federation, they can put him in touch with financial advisors who can go through your finances and come up with payment plans. Have a read of this blog, unmanageable debt makes you more vulnerable in the police and he does need to reach out. You will both feel tons better when he does.
also plenty of room to pick up overtime for him, there is always tons going so deffo needs to do that. Also 7% pay rise effective from 1st sept, even in in probation. He will go up to 30k from 28k , means an extra 150 ish per month from this month
https://www.polfed.org/news/blogs/2020/blog-please-reach-out-if-you-re-in-debt/

https://www.polfed.org/resources/pay-scales/constable-pay-scales/

Look at Additude podcast, several podcasts on managing finances with ADHD.

Well done for being so organised! Just taking this step means that you are in control.

As you are good with a spreadsheet, set up a page with your income vs. essential outgoings to include all your payments. Check every bank account for direct debits, standing orders and regular payments. Like you have said you will do, cancel any superfluous payments: you already mentioned prime and apple. Can you find any more? Try to make this enjoyable - you are finding accessible funds!

Once you have this sheet, start to check through APR. Put all your debts in order twice: once from highest to lowest APR, then from smallest to biggest debt. Is there a small debt you can throw everything at?

This advice is from experience of being in £50k+ loan and credit card debt. You can do it OP

Feel free to pm if you need help setting the sheets up. I still use mine now as our loan will be paid off in March next year! We are 39 and 40 with 2 young children.

Hugs and loads of positivity!!! ❤️❤️❤️

That is a really unhelpful comment. The OP is clearly struggling with the burden of this you wade in with a comment like that?

I also disagree with your comment regarding the size of the debt in relation to the OP's income. Whilst £14900 is a significant amount of money, it doesn't strike me as a massively high amount of debt for someone in that income bracket.

You are not fucked. For someone in debt you are in a pretty good position. Your debt is nowhere near as high as many and you have a good joint income to pay it off.

Speak to one of the debt charities/ CAB and get a solid plan to pay it off ( if you haven’t got this already).

If you can take some immediate action today it will be empowering. Can you set up a Vinted account and identify 10 items to sell before lunchtime? Explain to the children that you have some debt and that you all need to budget and ask if they also want to sell stuff. You will be teaching them useful life skills and they will be more understanding than if you just start cutting back on luxuries without explanation.

Morning! I just wanted to check in, did you manage to sleep? I hope so and that your head is feeling clearer and calmer today.

I've been where you are and I'm out of it now and the best advice I can give is keeping your head out of the sand. Whenever people started talking to me about CCJs, debt collection, despite having all the right intentions I'd panic and ignore the problem which of course only made things worse. Stay focused on your high interest debts, stay positive but realistic (don't take yourself out for a slap up meal and a shopping trip to celebrate paying off one small debt like I did ) and keep communicating with your family as it sounds like you have a great one around you. Best of luck

Just looked back at some of my old money spreadsheets. We had a tricky period from 2014-2017. At that point our unsecured debts were close to 50K on a joint take home of 4.5K. We managed to reduce the balances so please don't ever feel that there is no way out

Don't get an IVA. You really don't have that much debt and as you have no assets (eg a house) you want to protect an IVA really isn't a suitable product for you. A Debt Relief Order would be a much better option if you decide to look at long term debt management options. Basically you pay £90 to set it up via step change or CAB and then everything is frozen for a year. If your situation is still the same after the year the debt is cleared. You must have under £30,000 of debt and assets worth less than £2,000.

It will fuck your credit rating for six years but honestly it sounds like it is pretty fucked all ready.

IVA's are expensive and a lot of IVA companies are predatory assholes looking to make money off desperate people.

Haven't read all your posts... If your partner is training to become a PC currently I wouldn't move out of London/met force area yet. The pay is much worse. But the pay rises quite a bit each year which will help.
Cut back on spending in the meantime.

How is that helpful?

As a police officer. It is essential he declares unmanageable debt. They will put him in touch with a debt management company to sort out repayment and there is also an opportunity to access help towards paying off your debt to a manageable level. He can access all sorts of help in the police but it is essential he declares it. It can affect his vetting status and ability to apply for future posts.

Hi op, someone may have mentioned this already but they have a lot of information about how to tackle debt https://www.turn2us.org.uk/get-support/information-for-your-situation/debt

Its great your DH is on the same page as you can work together and support each other.

Also, you sound lovely with regards to your family, I have no doubt that your older DC would understand and your youngest I’m sure would still love Christmas regardless of whether you spend a little or a lot. Time with family is more important, cliche as it sounds.

I think you will be okay, it doesn’t mean it is not going to take a lot of work and use of all the advice/tools in the thread but you can and will do it and will feel so much better for it.

I don't know if anyone had already said this, but have a look at Stepchange. They're a charity who offer free advice and support to help you manage debt. www.stepchange.

They'll liaise with all the creditors for you (which is often the most stressful bit) and help you set up a payment plan. You pay an agreed amount based on what you can afford to Stepchange and they'll distribute it amongst the creditors. The calls and letters will stop which will remove all the stress and anxiety you're feeling.

You then need to make sure you stick to your budget and stop over spending. Not easy I know, but it is doable.

There are various ways to find and manage subscriptions that leak money out of your accounts, this is one.

https://uk.pcmag.com/old-subscription-services/134561/how-to-track-and-manage-your-paid-subscriptions

The pay is worse but if housing is cheaper, its likely it could balance out.

Many of us have been there OP and you are far from fucked. For a start you have enough money to cover outgoings.
You need firm financial advice because in many cases the debt can be written off but you need a good advisor.
Go to stepchange as a start.
I have a patient who helps people to write off debt all the time. It means you can't norrow for a few years and then you are off the hook.
My DS was in the same position and he and DiL and now buying their first home in their mid 40's. It was Dils debt. He is good with money and decided they would just deal with it calmly, got most of the debt written off.

There’s some really helpful advice on here. I feel for you; we’ve been there and done that. My only add on would be to forget about a deposit and house for now. Take the pressure off and just focus on getting your head above water for another 4-5 years. Enjoy where you are and your family without stressing about owning your own place.

One day at a time.

Good morning, OP. I hope got some rest. My DD has ADHD and I am very mindful of the challenges she may face with regard to finances in the future, so really just want to say well done for grabbing this particular bull by the horns. That makes you a good mum, please don't beat yourself up.
I also see Hurrah has already made the point I wanted to make about your DP reaching out to his supervisor concerning debt.
Wishing you strength and courage for the long haul, you can do this!

Hi OP, hope you’re okay.

I had some payday loans when I went to uni and got into the spiral of borrowing money to pay off the original loans.

I wrote a letter to all of the companies (most have gone bust now and I’ve had payments from them) telling them that they were irresponsibly lending as it was obvious that I couldn’t pay the money back due to the pattern of lending and most of them got cancelled.

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/reclaim/free-payday-loans-refunds/

If you’re in this much trouble with short term creditors, they have lent to you irresponsibility.

Oh. And cancel your Amazon account. The amount of unregulated, untested and unsafe stuff from there is astounding and nothing ever lasts. I was also stuck in that buy cheap, buy 800 time cycle on there.

Best of luck.