DP wants home ownership but not a mortgage

[Maplelady]

My partner and I have been together for three years. I own my house outright and he owns no property, but could raise a mortgage of around 350k on his 80k salary.

He currently pays £600 a month to live and my house but understandably doesn’t want to feel like my lodger forever. I suggested that we could sell my house and put that down a 500k deposit and he could raise a mortgage of say 150k-200k (which he pays and has that as a percentage of equity in the house). He really hates the idea of owing that sort of money to the bank and being tied to a mortgage for the next 20 years.

He’s suggested that I buy a new house from the sale of my current house and my savings (I have 100k in savings) and he pays me a monthly amount and gradually buys a share of my house. Am I right to feel really uncomfortable about this? There’s nothing compelling or exciting to me about selling chunks of a property I already own and can afford. I get that he wants us to feel more like a partnership rather than a tenant/landlord situation.

For a bit of background… I put my ex on my mortgage years ago and it ended up costing me a lot of money when we broke up after a few years. I can’t tell if I’m just being overly cautious because of my past experience

I think you are right to be cautious.

You would essentially be his mortgage provider and your asset would be reduced while his increases in value.
It would be a no from me.

If the house is set up in your joint names then he would own half from outset but owe you a lot of money and that's all your savings gone. I wouldn't be keen tbh.

Unless you had a very watertight agreement, I'd seek legal advice. I suppose maybe he's thinking he'd essentially owe money into the pot but not pay interest to a bank:

He’s suggested that I buy a new house from the sale of my current house and my savings (I have 100k in savings) and he pays me a monthly amount and gradually buys a share of my house.

He's a cheeky fucker! No way should you do this.

It’s a hard no from me. Easy to be so cavalier about selling assets and draining savings when it’s not your money.

Lol. He's a dick.

We all want to own a home without paying a mortgage - and the interest on it.

Tell him you will charge 25% apr interest. Or he could perhaps find a mortgage that is cheaper? (And buy somewhere on his own. You have a house you are happy with)

He's okay with you being more vulnerable than him.

No I wouldn’t do that.

I always think when it comes to money you have to remove emotion, it’s not whether you trust them or don’t trust them, it’s simply not good sense to do this.

Ok he doesn’t like the idea of a mortgage - who does? It’s just part of life for most ppl

If he’s not happy borrowing then why is he happy borrowing from you? The answer is that if anything happens, he thinks he won’t pay you back.

Hard no.

He wants to own a house but not have a mortgage. But is happy for you to have one. Not a chance.

In fact following that conversation I would not be willing to sell my house to go in on one together. I would only even consider buying with him if I could switch my current home to a buy to let so I had an asset in only my name.

Wouldn't most people want home ownership without a mortgage? I think you're right to feel uncomfortable about his proposal; is he thinking that paying you what is essentially rent to live in a house you own will give him joint ownership of the property?

No way should you do this. He wants to have the benefits of home ownership without the responsibility of a mortgage. If he walked away from the relationship he would have a stake in your home but not have to pay the mortgage. Cheeky F! I think you either carry on as you are or do it properly- you will lose out OP if you let him have his way over this. It would make me question the whole relationship to be honest.

It wouldn't be 20 years of mortgage though, if the mortgage was fairly small he could have it paid off in 10 years max.

If he's worried about owning an asset then he could buy an investment property.

It seems mad to buy a house for a similar value of what you have now, why go through all the upheaval and cost just to create some weird artifical joint ownership?

I bet he bloody did 😂

On your bike sir!

Another thread about a man who wants to benefit from property at the cost of his partner.

It's like what's mine is mine and what's yours in ours.

Outrageous really. Do not sacrifice your financial security.

He wants you to shoulder 100% of the financial risk, yet he shares in the reward.

Lol.

No.

How gradually is he suggesting? Does he think you should put him on the deeds while he just carries on paying £600 a month?

You are not being overly cautious, you’re being a normal level of sensible. He is being a pisstaking chancer.

Absolutely not.

Of course he bloody does. Arse. Do not do this.

It depends on which side of the fence your on
from your point of view no way from his he’s paying you in Instalments

there is never a way to get on an equal footing when there such an imbalance financially

personally I’d keep the house ownership separate
split the utilities and day to day cost

take no payment for rent

he can save and buy his own investment property

win win
you’ve had your fingers burnt once
so your house would remain just yours

and he could get one that’s just his

I really wouldn’t care that fact he lived rent free in my house it isn’t costing me anything

Absolutely fucking not! What a minefield that would be if you broke up.

Outrageous suggestion from him - not a cover I'd risk my financial security for anyone. Plus you have an awful previous experience to guide you!

That is far too risky particularly if you break up. If he wants a share he gets a mortgage for it and you get the appropriate legal paperwork drawn up to protect your contribution

We'd all like to be homeowners with no mortgage but however much he may want it, it's not realistic

That would really put me off him. He's on £80k and could easily I presume afford a mortgage.

It sounds like he's trying to take advantage. I'd most definitely not go into any financial partnership with him